Topic : 01/17 Extreme Disorders

I am in Mid Missouri (north of Jefferson City). I can go to either Jefferson City OR Columbia MO. 

  

  

  Dr. Phil, 

  

   Over the years you have made it QUITE clear that you are not advocating 8 minute cures on your program.  You have also  shown the extensive research that your producers do in order to gather all the information for any and all your programs.  It is in this light that I feel compelled to call you to task on the manner in which you presented the case of Alex, the young man with Asperger's Syndrome.   

  You did NOT at any time that I can recall (and I will review my tape again to be sure) during that program indicate that Alex had what are called co-morbid factors. The Mood Swing Disorder that Karen has indicated on the message boards can be the most likely cause for Alex's rage, NOT the AS. 

  I have found that in general AS kids (with no co-morbid factors) are gentle and suffer social impairments while generally having an above average IQ.   

Alex is certainly a bright and good hearted young man, and my prayers go out to him and his parents, and I hope Alex can find his balance, he most certainly deserves to have a happy life. 

   Don't misunderstand,  Alex is not the issue behind this message. 

  This message is in a response to the perceived sensationalistic use of  'Extreme Disorders' as a drawing mechanism to bring light to something, and then NOT providing all of the pertinent information.  Co-morbidity of having a mood swing disorder definitely qualifies. 

   The rate of Autism and related spectrum disorders has increased from 1 in 10,000 to 1 in 250 over the past few decades.  Chances of the likelihood that any of your viewers knowing or being related to someone in the Spectrum is practically a given.   

  I am very concerned that what people will take from your program is that AS persons have some deep brewing rage and could snap at any moment.  I urge, beseech, and CHALLENGE you to clarify and set the record straight.  Don't be another GERALDO.  Give all the information about Alex.  Find someone who is AS with no co-morbid factors. (I feel you will probably be let down because they aren't 'Extreme')  You will also find that a HIGH number of AS kids/teens are VICTIMS of bullying, because their peers can sense something is a little 'off', and thus makes them targets. (Trust me, we're are dealing with the ramifications of that very issue with my AS son) 

  Based upon the sheer VOLUME of posts on this topic over 800 messages (80+ pages)as of this posting and many upon review feel similarly about this as I do. 

   I'm just a viewer who is trying to hold your show to the standard that you have set in the industry. 

  

Joy  

Parent to Adam; teen with Asperger's Syndrome 

What do you mean it cant be Asperger's because of multiple diagnosis's ...my son  has both Asperger's and ADHD so what's to say one can;t have other diagnosises;////others I know have Asperger's,ADHD and OCD....what's up with that?

Please by all means...leave that poor woman alone...she is obviously trying her best...and will have herself some meltdowns of her own....to all the Super Human parents out there with all the answers and abilities and patience and skills ...i compliment you -it is honourable...your children will definitely benefit from you all...but please dont add anymore stress to those parents who you think are less than you because they were just a regular human being with some flaws which by the way i am sure are more than willing to change and learn and apply new methods and will as time goes by replace the old meltdowns with newer and better approaches....give them room to breathe...

I too had many who didnt believe me saying he looks so normal...including doctors...had many professionals look at me like I was a mad woman....while my son was being diagnosed,the psychologist at one point finally said to me that she apologized to me for being so hard on me as she was about to diagnose me with Munchhowzen (where mother;s harm their kids for attention) well I laughed and that puzzled her but I told her how many times others looked at me like I was crazy and that did she know how many times up to age 9 had I had to take my son to hospital for anything was abotu 3 times and the worst was when he was a toddler and stuck his finger in a heat grate and pulled it out and cut his finger...and that is all...he rarely caught colds...so that theory would have soon died anyway...lol...and then she told me she was going to tell me what she was going to write in her report and that she was not suppose to til it was written in a report but that because she was so hard on me for all those months of testing that she would tell me...and altho I had worked with severe non-verbal MR Autistic children (remember in his earlier years I had suspected that but shook it off because of his amazing feats at such a young age) when she told me about Asperger's I was both baffled and relieved that now someone knew I was not crazy or not a mean mom or bad parent etc....finally someone knew what was going on....but you know I learned about the social scripts and social stories and such ...I remembered my mornings as hell on earth...and when they suggested I try social scripts with him I laughed at first thinking he will find that borning with the brain he has....but I tried and combined it creatively to motivate him to use it...but he loved the eco-Challenge on tv that summer so I made little road signs for each room for his morning routine to show him how to wake up...then get up and stretch and say good morning mommy....then had arrows to the next room for him to follow to pick up his next clue...do you know it only took 3 days then I never had another hell on earth morning again after that...and to think one of the agencies I was with when he was a toddler....looking back angrily....I had made him picture boards for his routine with cute pics of toothbrush and toothpaste and p'j's and such to help teach him his routine with words attached just like we use now in school with our special needs and autistic children and the agency then told me it was too much for him was overwhelming him and that was exactly what I should have been doing all along....another trick I learned for his overwhelmingly and deafening voice ...he is soooo loud...(but he hates certain noises tho) was to make him compare himself to a radio with a lever that went from 0 to 6 (o being no volume at all to 6 which was an emergency high level ...3 was a normal voice ,2 was bit lower ,1 was a whisper ,5 was an attention voice when he couldnt get someone;s attention but it could only be for a few moments til he got it then had to move the lever back down to a 3....you know I could see the wheels turning in his head and do you know he immediately got what I meant after all the years of "lower your voice...use your indoor voice"...now I know he must have been thinking what the hell is an indoor voice and how do I lower my voice...he was probably thinking...should I get down on my knees til my throat hits the floor but that was his concrete thinking and without the example of a radio and I drew one with a moveable lever did he finally understand what I meant...my heart sank when you mentioned how you couldnt take a walk when he had meltdowns and wanted to kill himself...I was in the same situation only also I had to carefully like a hawk watch my daughter too cause he was very aggressive with her and like Alex by age 5 he knew he was different...would refuse stickers when he deserved them saying "no...dont give them to me mommy cause i will only screw up again anyway"-broke my heart but worst is like you say when he said he wanted to be dead...and he tried once with a chord....but after so many times of him threatening and this was nearing his 10th birthday ,I finally decided not to become upset or cry or whatever and for some reason just decided to tell him....you know what chum...you could do that someday...but remeber this tho dude...I LOVE YOU and I will NEVER let you DIE.,....and let's say you choked yourself right now in front of me...you might die but as soon as you hit that floor buddy I will take you in my arms and breathe life right back into you....and then to make it more lighthearted and to use humour which he loves at times during a crisis...I reminded him of how much he hated kisses and that if i had to give him CPR that my mouth would have to be on his mouth for me to be able to breathe air into his and so at that point he took the chord off his throat saying Yuck of course and then I just joked about I would have gotten a kiss from him at the same time...and he laughed and we all laughed and hugged and he has never said or done that again...I hope he never does again either..and that is why I would love to have more support and help in finding out more ways to help ....to avoid just that happening...worst yet during his teen years....cause I might not be there to stop him then....God forbid....I hope he never feels that helpless again....to that point...good for you for reaching out to dr phil....you do what you have to  to help Alex and your husband and yourself and like I said to another mom...take care of you too...dont do as I did and try to do it all and then I burnt out and now my son lives with his dad....which for my daughter's sake maybe that is a good thing....she now gets to have quality time with mom except for at this moment without the Aspie stuff hanging over her and putting her in a backseat...and she doesnt have to worry about the next remark or attempt to clobber her or threaten her...he is alot better -and made alot of strides even before he moved with dad....he made great leaps between age 9 and 11 when he was still with me....but when I was ill it set him back some...and that is also why i had to make his dad take a stand and step in....I hope Dr Phil does do follow up shows on this subject so i can be like you where family who were lost to me will come back and now understand and give me the credit that i am due for the hard work I did do before he moved in with dad....I have tonnes of info I collected over a 3 yr period...huge binders full and meetings and yrs of appoinments and so forth...and diets and then some....being creative and having no social life after his dad left....except for some dating when dad had the kids...and now I may have met someone...but taking that slow too ....but I am hoping to get the fire back that I once had and I think this message board has actually lit a small fire under me again which I need to get back up on that horse that bucked me a few yrs ago....thank you so much for being brave enough to take this on .....you are doing a wonderful job despite the adult meltdowns...yes there are better ways to deal with theirs but we human.....best wishes

 I did not state  that  a person with AS cannot have multiple diagnosis's.  I also did not state that "it cant be Asperger's".  Please read my post again.

Regards,

Merrill
AS Family Forum

Way to go Alex and thru you we might be able to help our kids as well....and if and when you do find the answers or some ideas or therapies that help with the rages I hope you post all that has been discovered and the treatments....you have opened many eyes now....Alex...you have already made a mark Thank you so much for getting the ball rolling and I think this will be huge ....thousand thank you's...

Wow you sound like me in the beginning....and to think so many think that Dr Phil should not have taken that view on Asperger's...many are right that people who arent in the mix of Asperger's may and some will have the wrong ideas about the averageAsperger's,trainable,however you want to call it....treatable,easy to cope with Aspie kids but many have to look at the hell not only that parents hace and can go thru with some very angry and aggressive (and I dont blame them at times)but also to imagine the hell that the "severe" Aspies live thru....people ...open your eyes,your minds to all Aspies ,average and severe....they all need some kind of help or treatment ,understanding,respect....etc....my son is now on Dexedrine...no side effects...doesnt stay in his system( only 4 hrs 3 times a day)and hope it continues to work until he can find more ways to self-regulate his anger....til then,....he is staying on the meds...he has developed alot of self control since his diagnosis....so I am hoping for more hope....