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Topic : 01/17 Extreme Disorders

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Created on : Friday, January 13, 2006, 02:18:32 pm

Author : DrPhilBoard1

Does your child rage, scream and kick doors? Is his or her behavior the typical brattiness of a spoiled child, or involuntary behavior beyond the child's control? Dr. Phil sheds light on a pair of widely misunderstood extreme neurological disorders. First, he looks at Asperger's syndrome, a high-functioning form of autism which can cause a person to lack control over his or her emotions, including anger. Rich and Karen's 15-year-old son, Alex, was diagnosed with Asperger's at age 6. His sudden fits of rage and erratic behavior have put a strain on his whole family. Should his parents be afraid of Alex, or is there something they can do to bring his behavior under control? Plus, Craig, 37, can't control his physical tics, nor can he keep from constantly uttering obscenities, literally hundreds of times a day. Craig suffers from Tourette syndrome, an affliction that's gotten so bad, he won't go into grocery stores, movie theatres or any public place for fear he'll be kicked out. What will the disorder mean for his plans to start a family? Talk about the show here.

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kpenley

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January 17, 2006, 4:58 pm PST

01/17 Extreme Disorders

I found about the show today when my sister called me to ask me to print some info for her on Aspergers. As we both work I was surprised, but my brother in-law and 15 year old nephew watched it together and were surprised that there was a name for what my nepher has been battling for years. After ready the story I was shocked, the way Alex is, is the same way my nephew is. I was wondering if you know of any one in Michigan that works with Aspergers..

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kristinm1

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January 17, 2006, 4:59 pm PST

Debbie in Canada

Quote From: debbie_m

Good for you for carrying on. As I've said on other postings, my nephew, now 23 and about to graduate from University has AS. So does his father, who earned a PhD in Philosophy and is teaching at an Ivy League school.

AS is what makes him charming, unique and and so focused. It is also what made the early years so difficult for his mother (my sister). My nephew had delayed speech, until at the age of 3 he started speaking in complete sentences with an extensive vocabulary. He didn't like toys, but prefered to dismantle anything mechancial in the entire house. We used to have hide anything he could use as a screw driver. At 18 months he could dismantle a door handle in 5 minutes flat. He didn't like to be held or coddled. He never, ever held his own bottle. He didn't like the texture of foods and my sister had to blend everthing for years! He had his "topics" that he became an expert in. He taught himself to programme in C++ as a pre-teen. He had an odd, monotone inflection in his speech--without expression or excitement (unless it was about his favoritie "topic" du jour). He disliked sports - all sports. He prefered to read history books and became more isolated from his peers. Yet he had this unrelenting ability to pick himself up and get back in the saddle. Kids were cruel. He was invited to parties that didn't exist. He was bullied by little thugs half his size and he would never, ever defend himself. He has a strong sense of right and wrong and follows "rules" to the letter. This made him an excellent employee on little part time jobs. Thankfully, like your son, he made a good friend that saw him through the rough teen years. We always told him, that he only needed one friend. Yes, he had panic attacks and episodes that had in trouble with the law - although the police always figured out there was something no tquite right with him and sent him home. It's a long and bumpy road - no question - but there is hope.

Good luck to you and your family - your son will be just fine with you to guide him.

Debbie in Canada

That gives mothers like me hope! I have a son who is five and has a AS diagnosis. My child is much like Alex wherein he has a violent temper. Did or does your nephew have a raging temper? This is what worries me so. My son, like your nephew, takes things apart and builds it into something else. The screwdriver has been his BEST friend (and only real friend) since he was two. He's very intelligent, easy on the eyes:) but his medication (Tenex) is not helping his anger much. I pray, without ceasing, for him. He begins a special social group tomorrow at a speech therapy center. He's on a waiting list for an anger management specialist . . . I try not to worry, but that is very difficult to do.
Kristin in Ohio

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kathyf11

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January 17, 2006, 5:02 pm PST

OUr house was like that

Quote From: mlieb79

I, too, was so shocked to see all the yelling in that house. It disgusted me. I am at my wits often and mentally exhausted/drained, we spend a LOT of time dealing with AS issues.........HOWEVER,

I would NEVER speak to ANY of my 3 children with such unloving and unkind words. My son with AS saw that mom and was stunned. Research- there is HELP. She waited WAAAAAAAY too long.

our house was like that but we removed mercury from our boy and now our house is normal. our Boy was labeled ADHD very bad case. Now he is almost normal. We removed mercury from his body he got from vaccines. Thousands of others have done this and their children are going back to normal.

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eafrosch

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January 17, 2006, 5:02 pm PST

My Little Aspie

Our daughter is 14 years old now - and thriving. She wasn't diagnosed with Asperger's until she was 11 years old. They were 11 long years of arguing, screaming, slamming doors, throwing things - no more. The day our doctor gave the results of her exam, we began reading everything we could about Asperger's. Three years ago there wasn't a whole lot, but we learned from the material we found. We choose our battles and no longer scream at each other. Our home is a happy, quiet, safe place - not only for our children, but for others as well.

When I saw the program today, I wanted to call Alex's parents and tell them to stop what they were doing. I had horrible flashbacks of years gone by. They were just escalating the problem by losing their cool - I know, I've been there. The best thing to do is speak calmly and choose your battles. Our lives aren't perfect by any means, but our household is happy.

I hope more information will be forthcoming concerning Asperger's. I don't like the fact that the show ended with a negative tone. I was hoping for some positive information for the world. These are great kids!

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aspermom

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January 17, 2006, 5:02 pm PST

Is there really help?

I saw the show and at the end they had the brain imaging. I am unclear on how this helps. It is a very expensive procedure and I am thinking about it for my son who is 12 and has aspergers. I have had him work with doctors, therapists, psychiatrists. and No one seems to know more than I do and that is scary! I even took him to children's hospital and $2,000 dollars later they told me he was depressed. I know that but how do I help him. The only help I have recieved is with medicine. I feel that is not the end. Please let me know what the brain matters accomplished! as my family can not afford to throw out any more money and get nothing in return... I am so frustrated I really hope that the brain matters is help.

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mom2boyspa

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January 17, 2006, 5:03 pm PST

5 year old Step son Aspergers?

My step son did not walk until his second birthday, still can not place like shaped objects in their cooresponding holes (triangle in a triangle hole etc) and has had several obessions with odd subjects (Presidents, guns, Country Junction, maps). We do not have primary custody and his mother insists nothing is wrong. He doe snot see a pediatrician, but his primary care doctor thinks it is nothing. He repeats the same sayings over and over, flicks his fingers in front of his eyes and can not do stpes without holding the railing, I can't imagine this is normal behavior that we should nto worry about. My husband has gone to court to take his son to a pediatrician, but the pediatrician didn't find anything outwardly wrong and we went back to square one. He goes to kindergarten next year, so I know it is only a matter of time (he can not hold a crayon correctly). However, each year that ticks by my husband and I panick over all the time that is wasted. You hear about early intervention all the time, but we can't get a doctor to pay attention. Are we over reacting? Can it be possible for a child to exhibit obsessive behavior traits in aspergers like knowing all the Presidents by their picture, who their wives were, what money denominations they appear on and what they did - and NOT really be Aspergers? Should we go back to court and waste more money for another doctor to say we are paranoid? I guess my bottom line question is, how important is early intervention for a 5 year old with possible Aspergers or Austism?

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heyrose

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January 17, 2006, 5:03 pm PST

Hi

Quote From: karen_kiki

I know many people must wonder what terrible parents we are. Yes I suspected this even before going on the show. What you saw was the extremes and if you think we do not try to understand and help Alex you are WRONG. But as I said to Dr. Phil we are at the end of our rope, at least I am. Yes we yell and cry and jump down his throat, but did you see the whole scene? Do you know what started the meltdown? Dr. Phil can only show so much and what they chose to show the viewers were the extremes. Alex is a wonderful kind hearted young man however when the switch flips it is like a horror film in our home or wherever it takes place. On some occasions he actually flips the switch for attention and he has admitted that, so when is he flipping the switch and when is it his neurological disorder.

We aired our dirty laundry to get help. Comments like yours will help us as we are reaching out for answers for counseling and medication if and where needed. We are two working parent family and due to financial struggles in our community we are both working multiple jobs, none of which are full time and we have no benefits. We are doing all we can to make life the best for him and as I said, losing ourselves in the midst of it all.

I have gone into counseling and I am sure that Alex, Richard and I are on the road to recovery. We will be in recovery for the rest of our lives.

Are you responding to the original quote from the nurse? I'm agreeing with you, the parent. I don't think other people understand, the viewers, how frustrated you, the parent, are. I was crying watching you. I know exactly how you feel. My husband has it. It sounded more like raised voices not yelling and raised because you were in different rooms. I didn't think you sounded like you were yelling at all. I completely related to you and felt so sad by it.

I was replying to the nurse who was saying that Alex sounded just like any other teenager. I think the show didn't bring out how frustrating Asperger's is. I wish I knew what medications work too. My husband seemed better on Lexapro for depression. He was also more in control and better able to communicate on Ritalin. I have no idea what else he might try. I wish he would get help. He's impossible.

I know you're trying to understand your son. It's very obvious that you love him deeply. You both love each other too. I think the biggest thing you can do for yourselves is thank God you and your husband are friends and work on a relationship, a loving relationship together. My God you both deserve it. Hold hands again. Just put your head on his shoulder. He should put his arm around you. Cry together. You've done an amazing thing by staying friends through this. You're both united and that's to be heralded. Work on your relationship with your husband and enjoy your life. You DO deserve it. You do, you do, you both do.

I'm all alone now. My husband left me and the girls. He has Asperger's. :(

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jenchrist

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January 17, 2006, 5:03 pm PST

I need advice for my 7 yr. old

I'm a single mother of a 7 yr old boy.--my son's therapist has been looking into Asperger's syndrome as well as Bi-polar, but he has yet to give me any answers--I can honestly say that I'm scared of my son--my son gets into rages that are violent and mean...then like a switch he turns back into the most caring child I have ever met.---Some of the situations I don't know how to deal with --Last week my son was telling me over and over that he no longer wants to live, that he wants to kill himself....---after telling my son's therapist this, he shrugged it off and said, "He's probably really stressed from school..." ---How do I get my son's problems to be taken seriously, I feel that I'm the only person who sees the real Shane because he seems to hide himself very well from others--he dosen't interact with the other children at his school and he was recently put on probation in the 2nd grade due to his rages and stubborn behavior...but he's so intelligant, they put him into the G.A.T.E. program for gifted kids...my son seemed to fit all the characteristics of Asperger's except the clumsiness....Please help me figure out what step I should take to get my son's therapist to take me seriously ???---I forgot to add that he had already been diagnose with ODD-oppositional defiant disorder and ADHD---are these problems a separate problem or are they part of the whole picture of possible Asperger's Syndrome--Please help...I feel so lost, worried and scared of my son.--I tried getting a new therapist for my son and the current one he has now keeps saying that I should give it time, that he will come up with answers...but the problem is...he doesn't see the real Shane like I see him...----JEN

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karen_kiki

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January 17, 2006, 5:10 pm PST

Holding, Touching, Meds

Quote From: nuttybolts

Hello. I am a Mom of a 14 year old son with Asperger's. I have had much advice given to me over the years but the easiest, most practical advice which also was highly effective was given to me by our family doctor. She was a mother of several children herself. She suggested that I take my son to an established quiet place(we chose my rocking chair)--away from loud noises, tv, radio, other people, bright lights, movement, etc. She advised me to hold him firmly in a hug on my lap in my rocking chair for 15 minutes. She suggested that I do this every day at the same time for two weeks then come back in to discuss it. Even though he felt he was "too old" to sit on Mom's lap since he was about 10, my son agreed to try it for the two weeks. By the end of the two weeks, my son was asking to be held when he felt he needed to settle down but couldn't! He was already diagnosed with Asperger's ADD and Childhood Depresseion and had taken anti-depressant (Prozac) then Effextor along with Ritalin then Adderall then Concerta but still he felt overshelmed and out of control at times. He said he literally didn't know why he felt that way nor did he know what to do about it. Having me quietly hold him allowed him one way to be guaranteed of loving reassurance and a form of quieting relief. Try it. It can't hurt. It did not replace his medications but it was a wonderful experience for us both to find relief for him in a loving way.

When Alex comes out of his meltdown he wants us to hold him, rub his back and comfort him. However sometimes I am so warn out form the meltdown it is physically difficult for me. I need time to decompose myself and often times that does not coinside with his needs. If I do not provide what he needs when he needs it he can go into the next meltdown.

I love Alex and want to do all I can for him but I am human and there are times I just cannot do anything. This does not make me a bad mom although some people believe it does.

I am getting stronger since we taped this show and I am willing to make changes that is why we contacted Dr. Phil.

Alex has taken the whoile spectrum of medications and numerous ones at a time as well...we hope that the new plan will provide results for all of us.

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kimbaya

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January 17, 2006, 5:11 pm PST

Thank you, ALEX!!!

Karen,

Please tell Alex how thankful I am that he had the courage to be on the show! My son, Aaron, is also 15 years old, is brilliant, plays trumpet, has soooooo many wonderful gifts, yet suffers from meltdowns due to AS. He is so ashamed of himself for it. We too have family strife, even though we regularly see therapists for his condition. We've even gone to Dr. Brenda Miles' seminars when she's been in our area. Aaron has what we affectionately call "The Bat Cave" in his closet where he can go to get through his meltdowns. We have also put away knives. On one occasion I called the police who handcuffed him and took him to the mental ward at the hospital because he locked himself in the bathroom with a knife and was screaming that he was going to kill himself. This prompted us to increase his doses of medication. We just want him to be safe.

Alex, when I saw you on the TV, tears came to my eyes. I just wanted to hug you and tell you that there are people out there who DO care and are NOT afraid to love you. We know that these meltdowns are not done by choice. When my son was younger, he came to his dad and said "Dad, please spank me harder so the bad will come out of me!" It was heartwrenching!

Do you know when the follow-up show will be aired? I've never heard of "brain imaging" and am most interested in the results. For Aaron, we have him on an IEP at school where he has a place to go when he's going to have a meltdown. And, the Bat Cave here. We also have him taking Prozac and Risperdahl, which I pray that someday we can find a better way than with meds.

We have also lost friends due to Aaron's meltdowns. It used to crush me when that happened, but now I'm immuned to it. I'm always so thankful to meet others who want to know more about the condition rather than condemn us for it. Also, there are some great people at aspergersinfo.com. You can also download an actual medical card at that site. I sent the card to our city and to our schools so that people know how to positively react to meltdowns, rather than unknowingly help the meltdowns escalate.

Love and prayers to your family. THANK YOU ALL so much for sharing your story nationwide! You guys are HEROS!!!!!

Kim in Oregon

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