Topic : 01/17 Extreme Disorders

 When I turned in to todays episode, I was excited, as always, to hear the words of wisdom from my good buddy Dr. Phil.  When I realized what the topic was, I quickly ran and turned on the DVR so that I could tape the episode for my husband.  I am the mother of a 14 year old child with PDD-NOS (very similar to Aspergers).  Zachary was diagnosed at the age of 7.  I cried along with Karen as she described her feelings about living with this disorder.  It was the first time, in a very long time, that  I didn't feel alone.  There is at least one other couple out there that knows how very much we love these children and at the same time, how very much we fear for them.  When Karen admitted that she didn't deserve to be touched because she felt as if she had failed as a mother, it broke my heart, because I live with that feeling every day.  To Karen, you are not alone either.  Thank you so much for having the courage to share your story.  It is hard to admit that your life isn't perfect, let alone expose it on television.  Mine life isn't perfect  either, but I am learning to appreciate the happy times.  Our children have wonderful sides too.This disorder does not define who they are, it just makes life a lot more challenging.  My mother often tells me that I must be somebody special for God to have chosen me to be Zack's mom.  I say the same to you, Karen.  You are exactly the mom  that Alex needs.  You have what it takes and you will love him and see the great things in him, no matter what.  Take pride in that.  Thank you for loving your child enough to go to such great lengths to get him some help and Thank you for allowing me to share a bit in your journey. 

 Hi Richard, Karen, and Alex!

I live in NE Ohio too.! I have a 14 year old son (also an Alex!)  who was diagnosed with AS about 2 years ago.  I certainly understand what you live with!  I didn't hear if you have other children besides Alex.  I have a 32 year old son, in addition to Alex.    I kept thinking my Alex was immature and was taking longer to grow up.  When my Alex started middle school is when he fell apart.  He could not function with the constantly changing classes and had trouble keeping on top of homework, books, belongings.  I finally took him to the ped., who in turn, referred me to our local children's hospital for an evaluation.  That's when I received the diagnosis of AS.  The fact that none of Alex's teacher's picked up on this convinces me that he is VERY bright.  So Alex, do not believe it if anyone calls you names.  They are simply not educated! My Alex is in a very safe place at school now.  We are lucky, in that our middle school has a program where kids that need special attention to learn are kept in one classroom and not made to change classes.
As for the anger you live with, I offer you all hugs.  I think one of the biggest challenges of Asperger's is learning to recognize the symtoms of an impending outburst and trying to figure out alternatives before it reaches the breaking point.  Not an easy thing to figure out!  Sometimes both parent and child are caught up in anger at the same time and I am learning that is not good!  Sometimes parent and child have to call a time out and agree to discuss the situation when both have somewhat calmed down.
Thank you, all three of you, for having the courage to talk about this on TV.  You are not alone.  And Richard and Karen do not put yourself on a guilt trip because you think there is/was more you could have done.  YOU ARE GREAT PARENTS!!!  YOU LOVE ALEX!!!

I'm very happy that Aspergers has been brought to the attention of the public.  Many people don't know that the normal looking child I have... is autistic. 

I have a wonderful 9 1/2 yr old boy.  Jacob was born with a genetic mutation called Sotos Syndrome.  As a result... he is not only an Aspie, but has ODD, Capd and Dyslexia.  He has some medical issues, but developed alot of the emotional/behavioral deficiencies with the syndrome.  Jacob has hurt me many times over the years and nearly missed inpatient care at the age of 6.   

I have cultivated so many professionals in his life and he has come so far.  He attends a special ed program for children who are emotionally impaired, but he also is a boy scout (Webelo 1) and goes camping and participates with other programs.  Jacob would have more outbursts like the young man profiled today, but he is managed by meds (Respidal and Concerta). 

  

I'm happy to share my sweet boy with so many other people.  It hasn't been easy and he and I still get in pissing matches with each other, but in the end... He is so worth it! 

  

Jenny 

  

  

You are very right that they need to address his specific needs... but sometimes simply talking to your emotional Aspie doesn't work.  I have had to back my son into a corner a time or two to get his attention.  I have found though, once the attention has been gotten.  You lower your voice and speak firmly.   

I also stay out of arms reach, if I can help it.   

  

On the other hand, you mentioned... "...poor child's disease".....    I don't coddle my son at all.  He is expected to try his absolute best to achieve.  If he TRIES... and doesn't succeed, that is fine... but I don't allow... I CAN'T.  Crutches and feeling sorry don't help them at all. 

  

  

Jenny 

When my son, Aaron, was in middle school, he had an Occupational Therapist who tried different techniques with sensory issues.  One thing that Aaron still loves is his "brush".  It's one of those soft brushes that are used in surgery - a surgical brush.  He loves to "brush himself" when he's very stressed out.  The OT actually showed us how to use it.  You gently brush your arms and legs, softly and firmly, away from your body.  This is an item that he keeps in his "bat cave" in his closet, along with his favorite sleeping bag, pillow, etc.  I thought about it when Karen mentioned that she doesn't always feel like hugging him.  I know THAT feeling!  I just feel so DRAINED after the crisis of a meltdown!  This way, Aaron gets the sensation that he needs while I calm down, too. 

  

{{{{{HUGS}}}}}  to all who love an Aspie and ARE an Aspie!   

I have a 17 year old son that has been diagnosed with Asperger's syndrom, tourette syndrom, Obsessive Compulsive disorder,  a thought disorder, and ADHD.  I received these different diagnosis from different doctors.  Everyone I went to would tell me something different.  This has been very confusing and frustrating.  I found Dr. Phil's show helpful and would like to find out more about the brain clinic mentioned. 

  

I have two sons with Autism Spectrum Disorder. Cody, who is 6, and Eric, who is 4. Eric is high functioning, and Cody is VERY low functioning. Two brothers on totally different sides of the Autism Scale. I believe that if Dr. Phil was to have an entire show on the entire Autism Spectrum Disorder, it will help alot of people and/or parents that may not fully understand Autism. It is a very interesting world they live in.

  

  

     im so sorry to hear that happened my thoughts are with you , i cant even imanage what you are going though. 

  In a prior post, I mentioned "aspergersinfo.com" and the medical cards that are available there.  I think they have an updated version at the site, but here is what the first version reads.  I sent this to our city and our schools to help people in public duty to understand how to help Aspies when they are in distress. You can download these cards from the site.   This is what the cards say:   Asperger's Syndrome (AS) is an Autism-related condition.  People with AS can be of above-average intelligence but think differently, leaving them at a disadvantage in social situations.  They need routine, and may become distressed when their routine is disrupted.  Often having one or more heightened senses, they're more sensitive to changes from their normal environment, again causing reactions of distress.  AS symptoms, which often include not making eye contact, and difficulty in making and reading facial expressions appropriately, can vary widely between individuals with AS.  When interacting with someone with Aspergers, it is advisable to let them answer in their own words. (side one)    Persons with AS, particularly when distressed, may not answer "yes/no" questions correctly.  Please identify and remove the cause of their distress if possible, or guide them, with minimal physical contact, to a quite place.  Isolation often assists in recovery.  Raised voices, attempts to make eye contact, and threatening behavior will escalate their distress, resulting in a range of possible reactions, including backing away, placing hands over the ears, breaking eye contact or involuntarily lashing out, either verbally or physically. POLICE OFFICERS AND SECURITY AGENTS:   When dealing with a person with Asperger's Syndrome who is exhibiting signs of distress as detailed above, please use appropriate de-escalating strategies:  Lowered voices, non-threatening behaviors, minimal physical contact and isolation in a low stimulus environment. (side two)

I am with the many other posts, I wish there had been more about ASD. My daughter is 4 and on the spectrum. They just covered one symptom. I think a lot of parents out there don't know what to look for or know there child falls within the autism spectrum disorder. I am glad the show was done but I would like to see something more done. I had written to the show previously and asked them to cover this, I had hoped this show would do that but it just scratched the surface. Maybe Dr. Phil will listen and know that a lot of parents struggling with this. It's bad when good parents get used to dirty looks from strangers because they think you have a bratty or spoiled child when they are so far from that.