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Topic : 01/17 Extreme Disorders

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Created on : Friday, January 13, 2006, 02:18:32 pm

Author : DrPhilBoard1

Does your child rage, scream and kick doors? Is his or her behavior the typical brattiness of a spoiled child, or involuntary behavior beyond the child's control? Dr. Phil sheds light on a pair of widely misunderstood extreme neurological disorders. First, he looks at Asperger's syndrome, a high-functioning form of autism which can cause a person to lack control over his or her emotions, including anger. Rich and Karen's 15-year-old son, Alex, was diagnosed with Asperger's at age 6. His sudden fits of rage and erratic behavior have put a strain on his whole family. Should his parents be afraid of Alex, or is there something they can do to bring his behavior under control? Plus, Craig, 37, can't control his physical tics, nor can he keep from constantly uttering obscenities, literally hundreds of times a day. Craig suffers from Tourette syndrome, an affliction that's gotten so bad, he won't go into grocery stores, movie theatres or any public place for fear he'll be kicked out. What will the disorder mean for his plans to start a family? Talk about the show here.

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lindalavec

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January 21, 2006, 7:39 am PST

01/17 Extreme Disorders

Quote From: mygirl41mk

You are so very right about the warning signs when our children are frustrated but what seems to blindside us is when the air is clear and then "wham" out of no where it seems a "meltdown" occurs... a 101 course would be great but that is not the answer as there are so many different things that could possibly set our children off it is a mystery at times and energy consuming as well...(so it is not always easy and clear cut to ward off or predict meltdowns) instead of pointing fingers and saying those parents should not have or should have done etc.,...what good does that do...for myself...I have seen myself in those parents on Dr Phil but who saw all that had built up before then... I am sure those parents must have other responsibilites ,other stresses in life,if you happened to be the one parent who was able to keep it together during a crisis then that is a skill that has to be admired by many but to us who "are only human" and can only take so much on our plates , ALONE it seems many times....please dont fault us for ourselves falling apart at times and not keeping our cool...if when we know there is something different and we go to professionals seeking help and all they do is point fingers at one parent then the other or point at your child saying he is just this or that rather than honestly looking into what could possibly be wrong other than just bad parenting or bad behavior then perhaps those of us who do have our own meltdowns(our own cries for help) might have had enough energy to stay calm and collected thru yet another outburst...cry for help...I totally agree it is a cry for help...a cry of frustrations...what child wouldnt...what child could possibly keep it together when a certain scent is more than just foul or a certain embrace by a child's mother would feel more uncomfortable or even painful instead of feeling secure and soft and warm,what child wouldnt panick when certain sounds are ear piercing even tho to others it is so minute that they are looked at like they are weird for having flinched in pain....of course that child and any child with Asperger's would cry out in a meltdown when trying to explain a complex thought they know darned well what the heck they are talking about but no one else can figure our what they are trying to say....can you imagine all that they must go thru....and can you even begin to imagine how the parents must feel not being able to help their child thru some of those things...even when I finally knew what my son had...knowing full well there was something everyone else was trying to deny...only to find that my son;s world and mine and my daughter's just fell apart instead of getting better....why?Because people denied us the rights to have extra assistance in whatever way we needed...because family and friends continued to back away instead of coming forward to help....some were still in denial and trying to point blame at us as parents...my marriage fell apart before we even knew what happened that was another block in the hope for some kind of recovery....now my daughter is at an age where she feels now that she is older, even if her brother is attempting to keep control...she feels like now she can retaliate against him for all that he did to her as a toddler....it is just a vicious circle that to me cant be broken until people stop pointing fingers and instead hold out their hands to help in whatever way they can otherwise it is best to just keep those comments to themselves...it is just another slap in the face that just sucks more life out of us when we need all the strength we can keep ,to help our Aspy kids...If you have been so successful with your son -instead of pointing fingers why not lend some of your skills to others who could learn from you rather than bash those of us who struggle....no one wants to have a meltdown along side our children but with some help from a skillful person sure goes alot farther than parent bashing....I praise you and give you credit for what some of us cant seem to get....like I said in my previous letter I am trained and experienced for over 20 yrs to work with special needs children and have helped many children over those years but the guilt and feelings of failure I have endured since knowing my son deserved better than what was thrown at him just kills me inside...and since my break down tho I have had to learn to turn that negative tape in my head into something positive so that I can help him to the best of my ability.I hope you try to understand us less skilled parents of Asperger's children and reach out to help those who could use your expertise instead!Thank you! :)

I do go out and help other parents. There are plenty of resources and helps out there for a parent to learn about Asperger Syndrome. I am sorry, there is no excuse for what I saw in the show, after know for so many years that the son. I work with a social group of youth. I do a support group in my city. I do a LOT. Now I suggest you quit whining and get to work learning what to do to help your child. I did.

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mygirl41mk

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January 21, 2006, 8:18 am PST

thank you

Quote From: lindalavec

I am sorry for your stuggles. Once a child grows up, they become responsible for their actions and future, whatever their unique makeup is. It must be painful. During your child's growing years, AS was not very well known, therefore proper interventions were not well known. Had there been more information back then, you would have had some way of learning to dealing with it and helping him. I have been working with my son for the past 6 years, intensely. He was diagnosed at the very beginning of when this disorder became better known. I was fortunate. He is now a treasure and a joy, but it was not something that just happened. I have put a lot of blood sweat and tears into helping him. He is now 17. We still have our tense moments, but I can see that we broke through that bubble of insulation that Aspies have around them. I am sorry you were not able to get through to your son before it was too late. It must be heartbreaking. About all I can offer is my prayers. Take care of yourself.

Thank you so much for offering your prayers to that couple who lived thru their own hell with their son thru to his 20';s and then some....it is so important for people to understand that they as well as parents like myself go thru so many struggles and if they appear more tense than need be or they seem to be in more power struggles than need be or is accepted then not only is the child crying for help but so are they....they like myself were not the lucky ones to have had a team of people who understood and knew how to help them (us) cope...it was fairly new when I found out after 9 yrs of poking and prodding ,hoping someone would listen to me....and when finally they did...they had no answers or extra help....the best that professionals can do is like on Dr Phil have the good luck to get on his show so someone could afford to send him for special tests to help zone in on areas of the brain they could treat with specific treatments instead of running blind and using them as guinea pigs trying out many different meds...altho we parents prefer not to have them on any...my son went thru his own hell on different meds and even got extremely ill on Clonodine-his blood pressure kept bottoming out and unless I had kept bugging the hospital til someone figured our why he was so ill....he would have continued to be very sick....because when he was sitting up his pressure would go normal....so when i took him to the emerge to get checked they would say he was fine but my brother who is a paramedic checked him lying down the pressure would drop....so finally after lots of arguing with the student doctor my son;s doctor finally came in and did a very basic test...took his pressure lying down ...waited 5 minutes then had him stand...took his pressure again which I heard them saying to each other it is barely audible then had him lie back down waited 5 minutes or however they do that test then took it again the pressure was fine ...then I told him I was concerned because the pediatrician had put him on Clonodine before but my son hated the side effects and so I had him taken off gradually...but when I was ill myself a few yrs later the pediatrician put him back on it when my parents took him for a visit where the pediatrician told them if i bothered him about med changes again he was dropping our file....I told my son;s doctor that and he said not to worry he would write to him,,,,and so the story continues....he is now on Dexedrine...which I like cause it is not built up in his system...lasts 4 hrs well almost....I know when his time is coming for his next meds...he doesnt only have Asperger;'s he has ADHD as well-I think he would have been pretty good if it were not for the ADHD,,,I dont think it is the Asperger;s that is so overwhelming but the secondary diagnosis....anyway the Dexadrine is helping him so far.,...he doesnt looked spaced out on it...it calms him alot but does take about 1/2 hr to kick in and you know ab out the last 1/2 hr that it is goin out of his system....it is heartbreaking for parents to go thru without any extra help for me if I could have just had respite to replace me with a sound being with some expertise to help me when I lost my energies I could still have my son with me right now....and I do believe it is genetics...my brother who is a paramedic read up on it and without me having said anything to him...called me one night after reading about it and asked me if i thought perhaps he had Asperger;s-I was so relieved he noticed it himself so since having read messages from Aspies themselves who call themselves Aspies not me...our joke since then when my brother blurts something out without thinking first is...Brother ,you are having an Aspiemoment " or he will ask me..did I just have an Aspie moment...at which point I will have to say yes then even now at age 40 he will ask me what he should have done instead.,...this man who is way more intelligent that I ...who only ever had to open a book the morning of an exam and ace it whereby I had studied for hrs and days only get an average mark...would now ask what he should have done instead...and I truly believe now that the frustrations I had with my ex were because he too has Asperger's and you know how they say when you grow up in a certain environment some women tend to be attracted to men with similar backgrounds...I strongly believe now that because I was so use to being with my brother who would be very aggressive with my sister and I (but who was very very quiet-opposite of my son tho -obviously my brother didnt have ADHD-same with my ex) but because my ex was so similar to my brother in many ways I think that was how I was attracted to him and then perhaps and only my theory of course...having had both a father and uncle with it possibly ran down the line with an secondary diagnosis of ADHD....how can sleeping between a mattress and a boxspring possibly pass from one generation to another without having had any prior knowledge that his uncle did that only for my son himself to do the same when he was a toddler....I believe now that they were both seeking deep pressure...a need in their sensory sensitivities...and where my son was only able to come cuddle with mom on his terms I know now because I probably was too tender with him to finally have him accept my hugs finally without notice because I now knew to hold him very tight in a bear hug and not gently as I used to....so many flips to their lives and I am not an Aspie mind reader....yet anyway....:) Thank you again for your support of those parents and yours prayers....

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mygirl41mk

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January 21, 2006, 8:25 am PST

thank you

Quote From: lindalavec

I do go out and help other parents. There are plenty of resources and helps out there for a parent to learn about Asperger Syndrome. I am sorry, there is no excuse for what I saw in the show, after know for so many years that the son. I work with a social group of youth. I do a support group in my city. I do a LOT. Now I suggest you quit whining and get to work learning what to do to help your child. I did.

obviously you do not have compassion for certain parents who need it....I am sure they like myself have been and will continue to do the research needed to help our children...was hoping to help people such as yourself to be understanding and empathetic-yes it is not acceptabel how we might react but the show I am sure only showed the one side...the worst side to prove a point....It is too bad they didnt show the side where those parents, I believe ,had all their energies and all their patience in tact to deal with their son...and they may not have all the resources -not sure where they come from but I live in an area where those resources are many miles away from where I live and as well financially not available either ...and I myself also started a group up for our community as many had no where else to go but not many came out and other situations occured to put a halt to it...we are now in the process of trying new things that have just become available...you cannot speak for other people unless you know all the facts....you probably have all the resources available to you...you most likely have many people who have been supportive to you and open with your knowledge of everything....and you must have enough financial backing to help you stay so very sane thru it all...trust me -if those parents didnt care they would not have contacted Dr Phil and they would not have been so distraught.....so stop finger pointing,,,,

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jjillsmom

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January 21, 2006, 9:09 am PST

Project Management Steps, then re-wire the brain

Your show on Asperger’s with Karen, Rich and their 15-year-old son, Alex, was great. I’m very happy for them, and for your listeners, as you helped share information needed for this disease and learning disabilities. I am a little disappointed though, that you mention only medical approaches to treating Tourettes, autism spectrum disorders, and mood swings. What happens to the “open minded” – East meets West combination of approaches? I have a daughter that went to preschool and choir with Alex. She too had learning disabilities. The Director of Pupil Services at Alex’s public school considers her a “miracle.” Yet so many people think that if a doctor gives advice, only one way is the best – because it is covered by insurance? We used multiple methods to re-wire her brain.

Prove me wrong, Dr. Phil! Now that you have the brain scans for Alex (a great ‘stake in the ground’), please show what effects environmental and food allergies have on different parts of his brain. I know you will see changes based on toxins specific to Alex. From a project management perspective, please look into the following information for any child or adult that has mood swings or even behave “just a little different.”

Read – Is This Your Child? and Our Toxic World – A Wake Up Call – by NY Times Best-selling Author – Doris J. Rapp, MD – Board Certified in Environmental Medicine, Pediatrics and Allergies. www.drrapp.com. I believe she is still seeing patients, or just follow her advice and information in the book - - Go to the Library – No Charge.
Have a Human Bloodprint ™ Reactive Foods blood test (IgG ELISA) taken (M-Th and Fedex by 24 hours to their office) from Immuno Laboratories for Food Intolerance and delayed onset food allergies. www.immunolabs.com. Less than $1,000. Of course, there are pros and cons, but this puts you in the ballpark.
See an Environmental Allergist (not just any allergist). Have them do sublingual testing for food additives, chemicals, and airborne pollutants. We used Dr. Mike Waickman of Akron, Ohio. We heard about him from books by the late William G. Crook, MD. Your local library also has his books and the underlying theme is the same whether you have Chronic Fatigue, Learning Disabilities, or even something “just a little different.” Bring a video camera- - and tape your testing sessions - - interesting things you won’t see in medical school. You have the option of getting “sublingual extract drops” (as I call them), neutralization drops so that your child can ingest/smell the offending chemical/food in moderation, and their body will tolerate them without reacting. This also worked for citric acid another ingredient in most drinks. And guess what - - my daughter is no longer allergic to the myriad number of foods, food dyes and preservatives. She does however, automatically rotate her foods, and eat a well balanced diet (great for a 15 year old, 7 years later). Initial Testings and 1+ hour appointment, usually under $500
Prove me wrong, Dr. Phil. Now that we know the offending foods and chemicals (most doctors and psychologists we visited put me in quotations for everything I’ve said “food allergies that affect the brain”) specific to Alex. Please take brain scans to verify and document the change. Dr. Phil with your expertise and reputation, only you can verify that this approach really, really is an option in today’s environment. (This is my dream to have food allergy treatments mainstreamed). My daughter and I happened to be going to Theta Wave Biofeedback after a session with environmental testing. On the way out of the environmental allergist’s office my daughter ate one chocolate covered nut. 20 minutes later we are in another doctor’s office - - We did the alpha, theta and beta brain wave testing for the next 10 minutes and the result was (unexplainable by the physician) – her waves were in the alpha sleeping state, she was sitting perfectly still for 15 minutes, but her eyes were wide open - - almost catatonic – and school officials wanted to label her ADHD. Please, Prove me wrong - - can this be what happens to Alex (your story aired on 1/17/06)?
Sure it’s not a panacea. No red/yellow/blue food dye in their diet. A food pyramid (regular grocery store) that is specific for your child/family. And usually these food “allergies” are genetic. But if it can take a child in “pull-out” classes then mainstream them - - they can now have “normal” family issues - we also have a family that is not going to incur allot of prescription costs. From a project management perspective, this is where we now start re-wiring the brain with (catch-up) therapies such as Speech and Language (SLP), Vision, Applied Behavior, Feldenkrais, PT/OT, Drumming-Bongo,BrainGym, Gymnastics, Crawl Stroke Swimming, 4H – Horseback Riding, Scouting, Art Therapy, Music Therapy, Grostic Chiropractic (for Tourettes), Biofeedback, irlen, no future immunizations, Museum and Movies every weekend, scholastic tutoring and one-on-one customized therapy - mimick your parent/moneky see, monekey do in 1 minute increments - only a parent knows is best for their child (kind of home schooling for your child after he comes home from school). These therapies were done over a five year period, and my adopted daughter, now 15, can be seen on community and professional theater stages – speaking, singing and dancing her way on stage.

Dr. Phil – let me know what you think. Will you provide this additional assistance to Alex and his parents, Karen and Rich? I can validate my daughters progress with formal and informal assessment, including statewide testing taken without accommodations. In project management we call this “AS:IS” – the current phase with Alex and so many environments; and perhaps “To:Be” as our phase using holistic medicine in additional to allopathic medicine.

And to Karen - - you have done a fabulous job with Alex!!! He has a great personality and has come so far - - you should be so very proud of yourself. You guys did great on Dr. Phil’s show.

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kenzeeb

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January 21, 2006, 9:23 am PST

Mom Of AS Boy--Dr. Phil--you exploited this disorder

As a mother of an AS boy, I face many challenges that are unique in parenting. "Meltdowns" are only a part of these challenges. In reality, my son's difficulty responding to social cues is much more debilitating . He is very gifted, loving and lonely. I would love to see Dr. Phil address what I expect are more frequent disruptions in marriage due to this disorder--The techniques and patience needed to guide most AS children through the day-to-day are exhausting, difficult and , ultimately, rewarding. But, there is no cure. I am not sure what good a brain scan can do, when modifying behavior through constant repetition is the only way to attack the more troubling aspects of this disorder. Rages, when managed, can also morph into sadness. Finding outlets for these feelings of helplessness is such a multi-layered process. I feel AS was fully exploited and would love to see Dr. Phil re-visit this subject in less extreme framework. Although our daily challenges may not make as dramatic images for the viewers, the depth of our work and love is very real.

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lindalavec

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January 21, 2006, 9:25 am PST

01/17 Extreme Disorders

Quote From: mygirl41mk

obviously you do not have compassion for certain parents who need it....I am sure they like myself have been and will continue to do the research needed to help our children...was hoping to help people such as yourself to be understanding and empathetic-yes it is not acceptabel how we might react but the show I am sure only showed the one side...the worst side to prove a point....It is too bad they didnt show the side where those parents, I believe ,had all their energies and all their patience in tact to deal with their son...and they may not have all the resources -not sure where they come from but I live in an area where those resources are many miles away from where I live and as well financially not available either ...and I myself also started a group up for our community as many had no where else to go but not many came out and other situations occured to put a halt to it...we are now in the process of trying new things that have just become available...you cannot speak for other people unless you know all the facts....you probably have all the resources available to you...you most likely have many people who have been supportive to you and open with your knowledge of everything....and you must have enough financial backing to help you stay so very sane thru it all...trust me -if those parents didnt care they would not have contacted Dr Phil and they would not have been so distraught.....so stop finger pointing,,,,

I have been through all the pain over the past 6-7 years or more. I know what it is like to be involved with this problem and have no support from friends and family. I have been told "you son just needs discipline and he isn't getting it." or "its a parenting problem", when I knew it was something else. I am a money poor single parent. I have never been able to benefit from any program that costs money to use, I have simply had to do it all myself. My son is in public school. I have had to advocate for his education all by myself, now lawyers, etc, because I have no money for things like that. I did make changes in the school system for my son, both here in Cincinnati and in the Dallas area where we used to live. I don't know where the strength came from, but I somehow managed to do it by myself. Because of my efforts, things are good at school for my son.

It seems to me that you too are pointing fingers and jumping to conclusions that you have no right to jump to. I give my opinions from having been there and done that, all by myself, as a single parent, as a person with no backing what-so-ever, and so I can say things with some degree of confidence. My son became my priority. To say I have no compassion is just wrong. But it doesn't matter. I have done enough to help others that your saying that about me means nothing. Sometimes some 'in your face' honesty is what is needed. If a parent has just recently gotten a diagnosis of ASD and has endured years of pain over not knowing what was wrong, that is when the compassion is needed the most. Then the education process begins, the parents learn what needs to be done for their child. After many years of KNOWING the diagnosis, and with all the resources that are out there, there really is no excuse for still bombarding your child with negatives and with pushing his 'trigger' buttons. That simply boils down to a parent needing some parental training, not to getting brain scans done, etc,etc,etc. Sorry but that is my 2 cents. BTW, how contrived was this taping anyway? Is there a reason they did the program this way? I am still appalled at how the parents pushed this kid when I and many, many other parents of ASD children saw what was going on with this child. You don't have to be a rocket scientist to see it, and you don't have to have spend a lot of money to learn about it. There still needs to be a program on parents who have LEARNED what Asperger Syndrome is and how to handle the AS child. I will be happy when that side of the issue is properly exposed. These kids are not a danger to their girlfriends or wives. Sheesh. The point is, the more we educate others, and ourselves, the better we can help these individuals to socially integrate, to survive in this society. If we treat them like they are bad people and bombard them with our own lack of control, they will never learn what to do to survive.

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swimflower

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January 21, 2006, 10:02 am PST

DITTO

Quote From: mydnyte

I am sorry I missed the show, but, I did read what was online here, and all the comments, etc postd here. I didn't know about the show until it 2 hours after it was on here, and that was because my 24 yr old daughter called and asked if I was watching. It was just coming on (west coast, I live in MN). "Asperger's, isn't that what J.J. has?"

OK, "J.J." is now 18, has SEVERE Asperger's & ADHD. And on medication. Had it not been for ME pushing the Doctors constantly and telling them I don't care if they "labeled" him, he wouldn't even have been diagnosed at all. He has ALL the classic "signs" of Apserger's as well as ADHD, and yet, the Doctors were reluctant to DO anything! I saw 6- "psychologists" who told me I was "seeing things, paranoid, he's just energetic, he needs more discipline, he need to be spanked more, he is mentally retarded, he is just *all boy* and I was used to having a girl first (HELLO! I am eldest of 3, including a brother and many cousins, started babysitting when I was 12!).

Do you know what it is like to be constantly told your child's behavior and problems is all your fault?? That you are crazy, seeing things, don't know what you are talking about, just can't handle him, all you want is to "drug him up", you need to spank him more/less, you are a hypocondriac, etc?

I knew something was wrong when I could NOT hold him close to breast feed, it went dowhill from there. He stopped taking naps when he was 1 yr old, started running (not walking) at 8 months old. He was a big boy for his age, 24 pounds at 8 months, and soon learned how to open doors and "escape" . front & back doors had to have chains on them, wiith a pad-lock. He climbed out the bedroom window when he was 2, dropped down 4 feet, and ran off, middle of winter, about 6pm. Of course I wasn't supposed to be doing dishes I guess, as the Police officer said "Why weren't you watching him?" and "We are supposed to beleive he got out THAT window?" So I said fine.. I put him in his room, and shut the door, and went back outside. J.J. opened the window, climbed over the sill, hung down, then dropped down and ran past the Officer and then prceeded to run up the street. I looked at the Officer and said "Why weren't you WATCHING him???" They didnt' even go after him! OK, windows now had to be wired shut, and a chain on his door at night.

I went throught all the usual "food allergy" crap. Only thing I found out is, artifical sweetenters makes it WORSE!! Makes him "violent". Why? I have no clue. And no one else did either. One pediatrician didn't belive me, so, I gave him a diet drink while we were in the office. Can you say "mass destruction"? He was 5 yrs old. Dr's advice, don't let him havr artificial sweeteners. Another big DUH!

There are many stories I could tell. Like, for over a YEAR he would not eat anything but cheese sandwiches. (2 peices of bread, catchup one side, maoy other side, 2 pieces of cheese). I brought it up to the Doctors and anyone else I could think of. Of course, it was because *I* wasn't offering other things. I would offer, he just wouldn't eat them! After about 6 months, I figured, OK, no bread, no cheese sandwiches, right? So, I didn't buy bread. Wrong. Guess what? Hamburger buns work. OK, no hamburger buns. Guess what? Hot dog buns will work, you just fold the cheese in half. OK, no hot dog buns. Guess what? Crackers will work. I gave up and just got the %$%&* bread! 17 MONTHS of freaki'n cheese sandwiches! I can't stand to even look at one! All I got from any of the so called "professionals" is all kids go through *phases*

Phases??? a "phase" is a few days, NOT 17 months!!

OK, so I FiNALLY got him help, a real diagnosis, & meds when the school LOST him for about 2½ hours when he was 5¾ yrs old. Yes LOST him. Suddenly *I* wasn't imagining things! He was officially diagnosed with ADHD (DUH!!!! I Had been telling them for years) And was put on Ritalin, 20mg twice a day, so that ihe could concetrate in school, I could handle him the rest of the time. But, he needed to be able to concentrate at school. Then of course some fresh out of school know-it-nothing woman from social services descides to write a report about me "self medicating him" (she visited the school for what ever reason I was never told) Apparently oblivious to the FACT that Ritalin is a controlled substance and I had to literally go to the Doctor's office and pick up the phiysical prescription, then take it to the pharmacy, EVERY month. Also proceeeded to write in her report that he has "behavioral issues, abuse suspected" . Of course, she never once talked to ME or any of his Docotrs! Another "expert" told me he despirately needed psyciatric help. She knew this, because he had been "reading up". <rolling my eyes>

He was officially diagnosed with Asperger's when he was 11, by Dr. Kewely. Then put on Prozac. (We had moved to England in '96 then moved to MN in 2000) When we got here, he was taken off Ritalin & Prozac, put on Adderall and Risperdal. He is currently on Adderall (40mg twice a day), Risperdal (mg am 2 mg pm), & Remeron(30mg evening). I have no idea if/when he can even be on his own, as he needs someone to make sure he takes his meds, etc. He has the maturity of an about 8 yr old, and all the usuall problems associated with both Asperger's and ADHD. (side note: he caused the early retirement of one of his teachers, yet, another long story)

He has mentioned several time, he doesn't think he "will EVER get married, as no one would be able to put up with him and that he can't take care of himself, let alone anyone else" As well as, he "will never have kids because they might have what he does".

What am I supposed to say? Other than, "he shouldn't worry too much about it. I don't have a problem with it, so I am sure someone else won't either. Besides, I can deal with him and his father (stepfather, also has ADD and is on Adderall, and Welbutrin for depression). Besides, his biggest worry should be that any girlfriend /potential wife would have to get past his 4 sisters, and a MOTHER, first, then deal with him." Hahaha

What is the saddest, is that the now 12 yr old sister decided when she was 10, that she will probably be the "one who will be looking after him", later. So he will be "safe".

I have even had people tell me I should have him institutionalized.

Yes, it is a very long row to hoe.

Pick your battles.

And remember the "J.J." rules:
1. If he isn't hurting himself, don't woryy about it.
2. If he isn't hurting others, don't wprry about it.
3. If he isn't hurting/damaging property, don't worry about it.

Don't we have enough to worry about, than the "little" things?

And for everyone's sake, so called "professionals" need to get a freakin' CLUE!

Michelle

I'M WITH YOU SISTER,!!-I FELT LIKE YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT MY SON,WHO IS NOW 17,I TOO WONDER WHAT WILL HIS FUTURE BE LIKE,I HAVE AN 11YR OLD DAUGH THAT IS MORE MATURE THAN HIM,HE TOO IS ON RISPERDAHL,LEXAPRO,& ADDERRAL,.

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charitylea

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Stressed

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January 21, 2006, 10:46 am PST

01/17 Extreme Disorders

Quote From: katkit13

Charity - there's an awesome book for your daughter called Views From Our Shoes. It's little bits and pieces of letters and stories for kids your daughter's age (and a bit older) by siblings of special needs kids.

There's also support groups for siblings - I think it's called SibShare in our area. Are you close to a major metropolitan area?

Kat

I am in the middle of the desert in Elpaso, Tx. I have been looking online for support groups in the area. Most are in Austin and Houston though, way too far away. I will look for that book though for my daughter. Maybe if it's something she is interested in she'll like reading it. She is on a 1st-2nd grade reading level. I thank you though. I am sure she will be able to relate to it.

Charity

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marfaz

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Stressed

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January 21, 2006, 12:37 pm PST

Adult Relationships

Why is it when Adults with a learning disability, like Asperger Syndrome, (I have it) get involved with someone who does not have a brain disorder, abuse always seems to happen.

Does having a learning disability cause the person who has a brain disorder to be rotten and therefore desevering of the abuse?

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moriah

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Happy

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January 21, 2006, 3:03 pm PST

autism social helps

My 12 year old son is diagnosed with high functioning autism. He is a very sweet, compliant child, but has a difficult time playing, socializing and interacting with his peers. Last year, I went into all the fourth grade classrooms at his school and explained autism, and ask if any of the children would be willing to join his circle of friends. This group of children meets once a week, after school, where they either learn social skills, set goals for our child that they participate in ( phone skills, introductions, staying on topic) or play game. The children have been very compassionate and cooperative. Our hope is that in the future this group will provide him with a group of friendly faces in middle school, as well as some protection against teasing and bullying. I am amazed at the committment these children have made. I also feel that these children benefit from learning the true meaning of "friendship" and acceptance. This idea came from a state autism conference, where a speaker discussed "Circle of Friends."

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