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Topic : 03/17 Kids Ask Dr. Phil

Number of Replies: 255
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Created on : Friday, January 13, 2006, 02:27:28 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 01/20/06) Dr. Phil fields questions from teens across the country. Alysia, 17, wants her mom to approve of her 30-year-old boyfriend, Jamie -- who's in jail and has been charged with domestic violence. Her mother, Linda, says she's living a parent's worst nightmare. She says her daughter was working hard and headed toward college until she met this man, and now her future is at stake. Next, Kaylene, 15, is upset that her mother has banned her from using a Web site where she posted pictures of herself in a bikini. Is the Internet a safe place for a 15-year-old girl? Then, Brittany, 14, says her family moved to Nashville to pursue her dream of being a singer. But now that her parents are having marriage problems, she's caught in the middle and thinks it's all her fault. Plus, see the exciting new project The Dr. Phil Foundation is working on to help some wonderful children beat the odds! Talk about the show here.

 

Find out what happened on the show.

 

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January 20, 2006, 8:27 am CST

Sex education.

Young people need help with sex education. Not their own sexuality. Sexuality as related to the psychology of human beings. Show these kids what happens to children and women that fall victim to the green eyed monster. The court halls are full of these destructive behaviors that will scare the dickens out of anyone with open eyes. As a boy scout, I took a visit to a court hall and witnessed a trial in progress.Case law has been written to protect people from harm when it comes to falling victim of a sexual predator. The green eyed monster has many disguises and only shows at its own opportunity.. It has had many years of practice hiding in the deepest corners of a sick mind. When it comes to sex who can you trust? Who should you trust? Does trust matter? You wont see me connecting with anybody that I havent spent a LOT of time with and made sense of . Least of all someone that has a history of domestic Violence.. Or ANY violence for that matter... sick sick sick.....
 
January 20, 2006, 8:39 am CST

absolutely

Quote From: lh2000

There is no reason what so ever for a kid to be on the internet using chat rooms.  There is nothing positive that can come from that.  Their time needs to be spent on school.  If they need to chat it should be face to face where they can be held accountable.  People need to interact in person and not hide behind a computer or a telephone.   

Anonymous conversations are no way to connect to other human beings. 

one message said "if you are a nurturer, get a job nurturing!!"   Really!!!   Don't marry someone as a project.  I've had three "projects" and am now on  my fourth one.  I have never had a husband.  I thought I did at the time, but they were projects.  NO, people don't usually change.  Look out for yourself and don't date someone who you shouldn't marry.
 
January 20, 2006, 9:44 am CST

01/20 Kids Ask Dr. Phil

Quote From: create

I agree with everything you say, but this time I am confused.   You started out saying that you would put the computer in the trash and out of the house, and then said she should get a second chance with her mother monitoring everything.  I agreed with your original opinion.  I also would remove the computer or put parental locks on it.   I also would contact the jail and let them know he is using their computers to pray on teens.    Did I miss something in your switch of opinions?
You seem to have confused the first two stories. Story # 1 was the 17 year old and 30 year old inmate. They were dating before he was returned to prison. Story # 2 was a 15 year old girl who had posted inappropriate photots on her myspace account and made other mistakes in her profile that led her mother to ground her from the website. Dr. Phil's first comment about putting the computer in the trash was if she continued to prove irresponsible and disrespectful of the rules. Second chance comes first, then trash the computer if she continues to misuse her privelages.
 
January 20, 2006, 10:04 am CST

Been in that Boat Before!!!

Hummm this show really hits close to home, where do I begin, first off I am also a member of Myspace and I think it is wonderful for adults and "TEENAGERS" as well, if used properly, Myspace is intended to connect and network with friends, family and people around the world from my understanding if you are 14 years of age or younger you profile and webpage is automatically set to private use meaning that only people who you allow to be added to your page can view your site, pictures, blogs, etc. My question is at 14 years old, do girls and boys alike have the maturity to pick and choose who they allow access to themselves, I dont believe so. I dont even really think I had good enough judgement at 15 to do this. I believe myspace show raise the age of use and also raise the age of unlimited use to 16.  I personally think there is no problem with preteen and teenage girls using these sites to connect with their friends but they def. need to be monitored and checked frequently by parents.  

  

As for the teen girl who is dating the 30 year old man!!!! WOW where do I start, When I was 15 I dated a 19 year old boy, with parental consent. And then it was a 24 year old when I was 17 and then at the ripe old age of 18 years old I met a 26 year old that was bad news I knew it my parents knew it and everyone else that knew him knew it also. I smoked drank and was experimenting with drugs, I got a fake id was known by name in all the local bars and by all the local drug dealers, I watched him go into drug rehab, come out and relapse shortly as in the day after he got out. Very soon after on a drug run I wrecked our car going 70 mph OVER the speed limit( I was using drugs and drinking at the time) I almost died I SHOULD HAVE DIED. Luckily my mom was jolted into action she then put me under house arrest and forbid me from seeing him. Being the shameless negotiator that I was guess how long it took me to get out from under House arrest!! 1 Week!!!!!!    I then jumped in my car and went straight to my local Bar to meet my "SOULMATE" who the week before hadnt even cared about the fact that I was hurt just that I had wrecked our precious car. I was 3 hours late getting home, very high and so drunk that I blacked out and to this day dont remember half of the night, My mom proceeded to take me to a Local Rehab and checked me in for 28 days of detox and rehabilitation, well what do ya know it took me about a week of being out to meet back up with my "SOULMATE" and start sneaking around I managed to get away with this for about 6 months and then my mom caught me and kicked me out, I had to move in with my grandparents and was under constant lock and key for 1 more year. In the process of this I got a job met a wonderful man and made a life for myself!!!!!! I am now in a wonderful relationship with a great man who i love dearly.       

  

I say all that to say this    what this girl is doing is just like a drug it is a gateway to worse and I PROMISE she doesnt want to be where she is heading. I KNOW!!     She is searching for something, that she isnt getting elsewhere, love,recognition, assurement, or even just rebellion. what ever it is HE ISNT THE WAy. Turn around and run the other way quick.    I am writing this on Jan 20,2006 EXACTLY one month ago the former "SOULMATE" I told you about drank himself to death and Overdosed at the young age of 28 years old his parents and girlfriend had to find him dead in bed because he wouldnt change his ways.      It shakes me to my core to know what my life and his and so many others would have been like if they hadnt been dragged into this life that we all led by some one who LOVED US SO MUCH!!!!!!!                                       

  

 
January 20, 2006, 11:16 am CST

Friends, family, etc, etc, and Most likely himself will post Messages.

So,  Listen to Dr Phil. .  TC  John
 
January 20, 2006, 12:21 pm CST

Dr Phil Show.

Doctor Phil. I have been thinking that dating is okay for a womens and teenagers aswell. But as for- 

dating a guy who is a 30ty years old ie wrong and has been in jail for murder and rape is no good-- 

at all. About your Doctor Phil Foundation kee;p up the good works. See you at 03:00 P.M. To 04:00- 

P.M. On Friday Janurary 20th, 2006. Well I had better close now. Sincerley Your. Russell Vlaander- 

en.-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

  

 
January 20, 2006, 12:32 pm CST

Myspace...

I have had an opendiary and a Xanga (online journals) for a while. I understand the parents concern, wanting to know whats on it and what activities she talks about while on myspace. But personally, if the teen knows her mother or family will be checking her my space/journal. -- She won't post legitimate feelings or situations. I've had friends with parents who checked it, and the friends just created a new one at a new site.  They have a verison of their journal or diary, that is a shell, what they are meant to be, then they have the real me verison. Usually, this verison isnt as detailed but their friends know its them. Just their parents don't know its out their so they cant check it . So while monitoring is good, another point is that it tells the child that they cant trust their parents. Why would a child go to a mom or dad, when they feel that they can't trust their parents?.. Who knows... Thats just my side of the story. I've been there before. Danger is out their... but if you go online to their journal and there mad at you, you cant get mad that they were mad at you. Its not fair to them. Thats the childs venting place... so let them vent their.  

 
January 20, 2006, 12:33 pm CST

Myspace

I am a member of myspace and I have come across some sites where it would best be on an adult matchmaking site. I don't believe children should be on the site under sixteen. but there are kids up there who are twelve and thirteen years old but lie about their age. It is not a conducive environment for children. I know that my journals on that site are not always filled with the best language, and I know that I should probably just put it to diary setting on some entries. But I also don't expect some child that I don't know to come across my site.
 
January 20, 2006, 12:34 pm CST

MySpace

I am so disappointed that Dr. Phil told that mother that her daughter should be allowed to continue to go to MySpace.  We also have a 15-year-old daughter and we had some of the same issues.  She is no longer allowed to post her information on MySpace.  I do not see the need for ANYONE to use the web site, but most particularly someone under the age of 18.  Our daughter can stay in touch with the people she knows through instant messaging, which we monitor.  I facilitate a Parent of Teens Support Group at our church and I have told the other parents the same thing.  Take my advice - keep your teenagers away from MySpace!!    
 
January 20, 2006, 12:34 pm CST

For Brittany's parents

Brittany's Mom, if you are reading this, please please stop talking to her about your and your husband's issues.  I am now a grown woman, but as a child/teen, my Mom would also talk to me and my brothers about our Dad and their problems.  It is one of the most painful destructive things that happened in my life.  It made the world an unsafe place for me, made things feel like they were falling apart and was so, so hurtful.  Since I couldn't control their relationship, I started trying to over-control things in my life that I could control which led to an eating disorder and extreme anxiety which I have struggled with well into my adult life.  I know it makes you feel better to talk to her and she seems to be a good listener, but it is your job as a Mom to not involve her in these issues and to find some safe friends to talk to, or a counselor.  I know you love her, so please do this for her best.  Talking to us about her problems is now one of my Mom's biggest regrets.  And my brother is so resentful of being put in the role of being her confidante that their relationship has really gone downhill even 10+ years later.  Please think about this.  Blessings to you and your family.
 
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