Topic : 09/08 Too Hot!

 What is wrong with a woman enjoying her life? I'm 60 and I admire not only the 62 year old woman's activity and her attitude. She is a perfect candidate for the Red Hat Society! We need MORE people to respect the idea that 'acting your age' does not mean sitting in the rocking chair and getting ready to die... and THAT is the message I got from Dr. Phil's judgemental attitude.

Life's too short and there are no guarantees that ANY of us will be here tomorrow.  I say to Audrey...do what makes you happy...you can never please everyone.  I wish more folks enjoyed life as you do...what a wonderful world this would be.  A younger man!  So what...don't worry about them...love em while you got em... 

About the couple having trouble going out now...well, that's what keeps us married folk here home on weekends...no matter your size, there is always THAT GUY who's drinking and can't keep his hands to himself...or just a troublemaker...we don't go dancing to avoid the alcohol environment...and I don't consider myself but maybe lukewarm LOL 

Ya know - this sounds like excellent advice... and I actually cried a few times today watching this show because I could relate so well with the last 2 guests.  I have always been a heavier person... I am not obese, but I am not what society deems "acceptable".  I have however, always considered myself attractive - I have many many wonderful qualities that alot of the "beautiful people" only wish for.  I have always tried to keep a good attitude about things and never let what others said get me down - but the cold hard truth of the matter  is -  self image and body image ARE related. Dr. Phil is correct -  they shouldn't be... but they are.  I am divorced and am 35 yrs old trying to get back into the dating scene.  I don't want to meet a guy at a bar, or any other local "pick-up" joint.  I decided to give online dating a try... I have an ad posted on match.com  with pictures(recent ones..LOL)  yet for some odd reason, everyone I have contacted is strangely not interested.  We also have a dateline here locally that is a phone based system where you place your ad over the phone and then can call in and leave messages for people, talk online, etc... I get TONS of messages a day on that line. I will talk to the guys, most of them seem very interested after talking with me for a bit.  However, I am always asked to "describe myself" which I don't do very well..so I typically ask for their email and send them pictures.  I have gotten so many negative and sometimes even degrading responses back from those emails it is unreal... and alot of times, the person just never responds again.  That tends to begin to mess with a persons self-image.  So I can like myself all day long..be totally comfortable in the skin I am in.. but it doesn't change how others treat me.  I soooo got what the swan chic was saying when she got offended when guys that never gave her the time of day before were now hitting on her because of her looks...  My physical make-up is such a SMALL part of the beautiful person that I am - but yet 90% of the people I come into contact with will never know that because they never take the time to get to know me... 

  

Hurting in B'ham 

Cassi 

Yes, the 62 year old grandmother was very pretty.  But, my question is this...in all reality, how many other 20 something men would date her? 

I suppose the whole flaunt it if you've got it thing is true, but really, she's 62.  I noticed while watching the show that her face was pulled so tight you couldn't even tell that she was laughing.  Any woman no matter what age can look like that these days, it just depends on how big your bank account is. 

Good luck to both of them! 

I can totally get Bobbie!  Hey, guys, when we do the exact same things as a "fat" person, noone pays attention to us or calls us "flirtatious".  They just ignore us!  She is still thinking she is in that body, which is normal considering she was there for all her life.....duh!  I don't get why everyone is coming down on her for acting the same way she did when she was heavy!!! 

  

I get that it "shouldn't be that way", however, we are judged by what we look like.  It is horrible and unfair, but never-the-less.....true.  Dr. Phil, how do we get past the horrors of rejection when not "perfect" since we are judged by ONLY that in most circles??? 

I don't buy what Bobbie's saying.  She knows how she looks now, she knows what men are thinking, she knows what she's doing when she goes out.  If she still felt like a "fat" person, she wouldn't be wearing that kind of clothes to begin with.  She wouldn't be going to a bar all "dolled up" like she did.   

  

She's trying to make up for lost time.  I just hope they don't have kids.  Because if I were her husband and she acted like that when she went out alone (and knew there was a camera on her), her stuff would be out on the porch when she got home.  

Why don't you feel good about yourself? You've just lost  what sounds like a very massive amount of weight, aren't you proud of that?  

  

I do agree with you, Bonnie would like to soak up all the attention that she gets from people that normally would have just snubbed her off before but when it's at the expense of her husband you start to get a bit concerned. The sad thing is really that she gets very defensive about her actions and can justify all of them. To her it might seem that she's just 'being friendly', compensating for the attention she should have had but really she doesn't know what kind of message that sends to the guys she's around or to her husband. Her husband might think that she's flirting on purpose because she no longer loves him anymore and that mightn't be the case but you can see how he might get the idea. His beautiful wife purposely flaunts herself infront of other men to gain attention but pays little of her own attention to her husband. 

She shouldn't be encouraged! If she seriously wants to stay married to her husband she should really stop being so selfish and consider how her actions might affect her husband and ultimately herself! 

I watched this show as I do daily, yes a 62 year old Lady acting like she is in her 20's is a bit odd but its what makes her feel good and it keeps her young! With her age difference to her boyfriend ... We can all sit and judge what we "THINK" he will do or won't do ... My only question is ... does the age difference matter to them? They both answered that on the show ... NO IT DOESN'T!!! As a woman myself that has a 16 year age difference between me and my hubby to be, We have had the talk of what to expect in later years, How we will deal with them as they come, and the difference between his aging faster than I do, None the less we love one another and in the end thats what makes the differnce in our lives. He will go before me I know that and accept it completely!! Just because She will go before him doesn't mean that she shouldn't be loved until then!!! Wouldn't you rather be loved even if it meant a heartbreak than not to be loved at all??? I'd have to say I would rather have the love and take the heartbreak later on in the years. Any couple that has an age gap will have to deal with this issue on some level, for that matter anyone who is in a commited relationship does as well.

~ A few thoughts about the 1/23/05 show ~  I can understan that it bothered Mike that other guy's were hitting on his wife.  Bobbie has improved herself and looks great.  I believe that it is good for any man or women to get a compliment from someone other than their spouse.  It just makes you feel good about yourself.  Anyone that says different I belive wouldn't be telling the truth. 

  

I do believe that Mike has hard feelings towards Bobbie because she is now skinny and he is overweight.  I don't think that he likes it that now she gets the compliments and he doesn't.  When he got the compliments all the time and he was flirty he didn't seem to have any issues with that, but now the tables seem to be turned.  He made the comment about now she puts all the food she can't eat on his plate and he has to eat it.  No, he doesn't have to eat it.  He has a choice.  I think alot of what Mike is blaming Bobbie for is his own insecurities when he needs to take responsibility for them and do something to change it.