Topic : 03/30 Is This Normal?

Dr Phil, 

  My wife and I have two sons. One is 3 1/2 years old and the other is 1 3/4 years old.  

Our 3 1/2 year old seems like he has an obsession with dresses.  This started about 3 months  

ago and is still continuing every day.  He always wants to take his pants off and wrap his blanket  

around him self and says he is wearing a dress.  He spends a lot of time meticulously making sure it is perfect.  When he is finished, the "dress" is perfectly lined up at the bottom and tied at the top. 

   Is this normal? Should we do everything we can to prevent him from doing this? Or, should  

we just let him do this and hope that it goes away.  

 Also, he watches a lot of cartoons and some of the programs show girls wearing dresses and he likes to pretend he is them. Should we not let him watch these shows? 

  Sometimes we try to stop him from doing this by talking with him; however, he ignores us and continues to do it no matter what.   

  Dr. Phil, what should we do? 

Dr. Phil, my name is Virginia Verna, and Im just wondering is it normal for me not to want my daughter to sleep in her room b/c its on the other side of the house, and im afraid that I wont be able to get to her in time if something happens, and im affraid that someone is going to come through her window at night and take her. I have sleepless nights if she sleeps in there by herself, b/c im always getting up to check on her and make sure she is ok. Even if her father sleeps in the same room I still get up often to check in on her. 

please help 

Virginia 

Its really frustrating to see people react with little or no knowledge about dogs and dog behavior, who are basically ignorant when it comes to animals.  If you are not a big animal fan  or don't treat your pets as a member of the family then you have no clue.  Its very ignorant to respond and say... Put the dog down or get rid of it.  That shows a lack of judgment and compassion.  There are a lot of people out there that do not get that to most animal lovers is when we adopt or take on a pet it becomes part of the family.  To say get rid of the dog because it bit the kid is like saying get rid of one kid because it hurt the other kid.  They also don't get the animal has become attatched to this family and thinks this family is it's PACK.  To get rid of the dog will believe it or not leave emotional scarring on the animal.  Animals are a lot like children.  They get jealous of each other, they get territorial over parents and who they share their affections with and they don't always like to share their toys.   

Not all but a lot of dog bites are cause by a lack of training or no training at all.  Different breeds need different training.  When we took our dog to dog school we were shocked to find a simple game of tug of war with a certain breed could lead to making them become more aggressive.  They are not JUST animals they are living beings who share and have emotions. 

         HERE'S AN IDEA OF WHAT TO DO IF YOU ARE IN THE SAME SITUATION WITH DOGS & KIDS:   

My brother and his wife own 2 dogs that sometimes will snap at their 2 yr old.   They keep baby gates EVERYWHERE.... if their little girl is going to be in a certain room or part of the house they close the baby gates so the dogs can't be in there.  If they do let her around the dogs they keep a close eye on her but they try not to do it in a way where it will frighten her.  They don't want her to grow up with a fear of dogs or any animal for that matter.  (these are gates that actually are installed in the wall and you can open and shut them without as much hassle)  They even have a gate in front of the childs room so she can play with the door open without worry of them coming in there.  And they constantly teach her about the dogs and what she is allowed to do and not do around them or around any animal.  You don't have to choose between the two.  

I have experience with dogs and as well.  People have to take responsibility as parents of dogs and children.  If you want the dog and child to live together, you have to take precautions.  I agree with the advice Dr. Phil gave.   The child will get older and learn the dog's behavior.  She will not be little forever.  Keeping them separated in the meantime is practicle and reasonable.   

Parents need to parent.  That means supervising and educating.   A little child shouldn't be left alone in the backyard unattended, thus preventing and teaching her to avoid sticking her little fingers in the kennel with the dog.  Look at the circumstances.  Jumping on a dog by suprise scared this  deaf dog, which reacts the only way they know how to.  Is it right?  Not to people who don't understand.  But now that they know this, they need to take steps to prevent future accidents if they all want to live together.   If you know there is potentially a problem, take the steps to prevent it.  Too many dogs are too easily "discarded" because people refuse to take the time to train (the dog and the family!) 

I don't see what the problem is with this gent singing his heart out at his age, as long as he is not hurting anyone, burdening and or has means to survive, well then so be it, let the dude sing. With all that is happening in the world today that is not good I hardly think that this guy singing at any age is an issue.   

i'm not sure if dr.Phil himself reads these i doubt it but could you ask him if this is normal. I was preg. and lost my baby in my 2nd term it was the day before mothers day. a year later i found out i was preg. again and i would of became preg. with this one on  mothers day. well my child is now soon to be two and i worried all the time that if she's not with me she will die.(in the since of a bad accident) i feel i can protect her from something bad happening. my friends thought i would of out grown this by now but i haven't. i get upset/nervous feeling when she's not with me. i think its because i lost that first baby and i'm scared of losing her or maybe most mommies feel this way. so please tell me if i need help. 

thanks 

I can relate to the story of the women who just couldn't get over her fear of attack.  I too suffer from some of her worries.  I was raped in 1995 by someone I knew and have been paranoid ever since.  I check the doors and windows nightly.  I will wake if I think I forgot to check a door.  I don't live in that bad of a neighborhood but in our town we do have some freaks so I do worry for myself and my daughter when My fiance is working 3rd shift.  I also get my cell phone out before walking out in the dark alone.  At home or work it doesn't matter.  I had a convicted sex offender steal my car in the middle of the day in front of my work when I ran in for a min.  Imagine if I would have caught him stealing my car what he could have done.  All my personal information was in the front seat of my car and I still worry that he may remember my address if and when he gets out jail,  we did however recover my car with my belongings in tacked but it still worries me. I can not say that I am this bad when my fiance is home from work.. I will still get up and check my doors but I don't wake him to do it.  I figure my Pit Bull is downstairs waiting for me to come and check so she will take care of me if someone does attack me in my home.   

I also take sleeping pills to go to sleep because I worry too much.  I will stop now, I never thought that if someone did break in that I would sleep through it and be worse off.   

I think allot of her fears are legitimate this day in age.   I see it all of the time in my area.  I wish her luck with her recovery and I think that the show helped me to realize I am not that much of a freak!