Topic : 03/30 Is This Normal?

That's my question. Among other things I have such a fear of parking lots!  I can go to like Dr's office parking lots, or where the parking is right in front of the store, but to go to Walmart, or Pathmark for example is out of the question.  I will NOT go to those large parking lots alone!  (W/O another adult)  After much effort of trying to break my fear, I have gone into Kmart & was so proud of myself, but after entering & doing my shopping stayed in there for over 4 hours because the thought of going back out into the parking lot was crippling!  I'm scared to death that I will be carjacked or something.   

 

Does Dr. Phil have a list of qualified therapists?  My life is wasting away...I've repeatedly gotten my kids dressed to go out & then go into full out anxiety mode.  I'll sit on the couch telling myself JUST GO, then after several hours of this the fear wins out & I tell my kids to get undressed we're not going.  Now they don't even bother changing & an hour or 2 will go by & I'll ask them why they haven't changed & they'll tell me, "Because we didn't think we were really going" My son asked me the other day, "Do you ever get outside?"  

 

 I feel like I will never be able to live my life to the full and it's not fair to make my husband (who works so hard all day) have to go food shopping or to Walmart with me when he gets home.  It's made me so depressed that my house is falling apart, I've gained a lot of weight & I'm 35 now I can remember being like this for over 12 years now.  I wasted my 20's, half of my 30's  the best years and don't want to waste another day, but can't shake it.  PLEASE HELP! 

  

 YOU BLAME THE MOTHER!?!?!  No one wants to believe that the sweet little puppy they got four years ago is capable of hurting a child.  Both parents have to accept responsibility for choosing a Dalmatian with the limitations inherent for the breed.  Both are responsible for not properly training the dog and understanding pack behavior.  But THIS is about the FATHER that wants to keep an animal that has ATTACKED his ONLY child and thinking that his wife didn't PROPERLY train an 18 month old child!!!! 

These two dogs need to get another home!  One where they can be loved by all members of the household (really how can the wife and child "love" this dog), trained and keep SAFELY away from children.

"Nothing predicts future behavior so much as past behavior," is one of Dr. Phil's favorite sayings.  That applies completely to this dog.  It should NEVER be allowed near another child.  Then the family should get a SWEET LITTLE LAP DOG, so the little girl doesn't develop any phobias from this traumatic event.

As I said in my previous post, SHOOT THE OWNER, NOT THE DOG (and clearly the father feels more ownership than the mother).

Seriously.... are you living in this generation?! Alot of couples these days live together before they considered marriage. There are some that live together for 18 -20 years and never got married and is that wrong? I would rather see them live together first while they are engaged then to rush into marriage and get a divorce a year or two later. Get real! If you don't like it TOUGH! It's just how this generation lives.

 I am so outraged by the family with the dog that bite their child that I can't stop ranting about it.  But one last point:

A dog can nip at something sort of like a warning.  My Border Collie hated being brushed and  he would nip at me if I pulled the hair too much when I did brush him.  Most of the time his teeth never even touched me.  It was more like he was trying to say, "Stop that, it hurts".  My Cairn Terriers are breed to kill rodents.  I have seen them catch hold of mice and voles in our wood pile.  They grab hold of the head or neck and shake vigorously to snap the neck. It takes seconds to happen and is ALWAYS fatal.  There is no doubt the intent is the KILL not to warn off.

Their dog was trying to KILL their child.  This was not a startle response of a deaf dog.  There are rescue organizations that can help this family place the dogs somewhere else.  Dropping them off at the pound is just as irresponsible as mixing this breed with children in the first place.  GET THOSE DOGS A SAFE HOME AWAY FROM CHILDREN!

Personnaly, I agree with Dr. Phil on the issue of the deaf Dalmation that snapped at, and bit the baby girl. 

  

As an animal lover myself, who understands how accidents can happen - the dog did not mean to hurt the child, but was reacting instinctively - and who thinks of animals as people, too, I would have made the same suggestions, and may even have suggested supervised interactions between the baby and the dog.  Otherwise, this little girl may have a lasting fear of dogs. 

  

When one takes into account the mothers understandable reaction, and the seeming severity of the bite -20 to 30 stitches- without some gental reintroduction to the loving nature of the dog there may be lasting scars that are not visible to the eye. 

  

Although, I have to say it is interesting that the mother is unsure exactly how many stitches the little girl needed, considering her  fear for her child. 

  

Also, just because you do not agree with a suggestion made by an individual is, in my opinion, not a very good reason do throw away a potential wealth of information. 

  

  

Is it me, am I the only individual that thinks the guy has a pretty good voice? 

  

Sure, he expected a bit too much from his daughter, by way of managing his career, but he would not be the only person to do this - my own husband does the same thing occationally.  No, he does not want me to manage a singing career for him, but he does sometimes think I have the power to find him the best job, or solve all the problems we may be having at the time. 

  

Let's not forget that this older gentelman is kept young and vital by having this dream, and by working on his music.  And besides, who are we to try to kill his dream?  Sing Forrest, sing?  That's just mean. 

I had a really difficult time with the segment on the dalmation that bit the young girl that was featured on today's show. I grew up with an agressive dog and I know first hand the struggles that owners go through when their beloved pets bites or attacks another person. As the husband stated, the dog is like his child. Some pet-owners form extraordinarily strong bonds with their pets that many people (including many other pet-owners) do not understand or identify with. When these owners are faced with the realization that their beloved 'child' has harmed someone, it can be shocking, traumatic and difficult to really evaluate the situation from a strictly rational standpoint.  

  

I felt really bad for the husband on the show today, having to defend his beloved pet in front of an audience that was far less than understanding to his emotional connection with his dog. The deep feelings of attachment and love that owners feel for their pets don't simply disappear because their pets present a behavioral issue. He was clear that he did not want to put his daughter at risk again, but he also was struggling with the concept of having to let go of something else that he loved dearly.  

  

No matter how you look at it, the dog is not suitable to be in a house with children. Whether he attacked the baby as the wife claimed, or was startled as the husband claimed is unimportant. What is important is that the dog's reaction to the stimulus (in this case, the baby) was aggressive and not appropriate for a household with children OR adults who do not fully understand that they are dealing with a dog with a behavior issue. It is not safe for children to be placed in that environment, and it is certainly detrimental to the dog to continue to be kept in a household where his behaviors are not understood fully.  

  

What is important to remember that just because a dog is not suitable to be kept around children, does not mean that it is a bad, mean or vicious dog. Biting is a natural reaction of canines. And while it is not a safe or acceptable behavior to be had in pets, especially around children, it is an instinctual way for a dog to respond to feeling scared or threatened in some way. Especially for a dog who cannot hear (a sense by which dogs are able to react to much of what happens in the world around them), biting is a really common problem, and it can be addressed appropriately by a dog behaviorist who understands the specific needs and reactions of dogs with hearing loss.  

  

Instead of condemning his loyalty to his canine companion, why not find a way to be supportive of the traumatic process of having to let go of a beloved friend/child in order to ensure the safety of his daughter? 

Dr. Phil, 

  

I was just as surprised as the person who commented before me when you even suggested that there be a way to keep the dog.  I have also grown up with dogs and volunteer with a dog and puppy rescue group in my city, but would NEVER keep a dog that bit someone (especially an innocent child) and in the face !  A child should be able to grab the dogs ears/tail, pull the food bowl away from the dog, and short of the dog needing to defend its own life, NEVER EVER attack.  The father kept saying that this wasn't an attack, what do you call 30 stiches ????  I was bit by a neighbor's dog who was chained up in his yard when I was about 10 years old.  That poor dog had been abused all day long by neighborhood boys and when I went to pet him  he had just had it and nipped my arm, no stiches, no trip to the hospital and plastic surgerons, etc.  and this was a dog who had been kicked, hit, had rocks thrown at it all day long.  I also agree and to quote the above comment   "So many scenarios could play out, the gate comes open, the dog digs out of the dog run, the child goes outside unsupervised and lets the dog out, the dog jumps the fence, someone lets the dog out not knowing the danger."  The only sure way to keep the dog from bitting anyone again is to put it to sleep.  I have a 2 year old dog right now who is a very big part of our family and loved dearly, but if she ever bit my daughter just because she got startled, she would be put to sleep.  I would be crying my eyes out and holding her close to me while the vet gave the injection, but she would not be given the chance to ever bite someone again.  Removing the dog from the home and placing it in another home is not even in option in my opinion because what about the next child or person who happens to startled this dog and maybe the next time they loose an eye or maybe even their life.  I hope Dr. Phil is reading these responses because the majority of the time I say to myself "right on Dr. Phil" and completely agree with his advice, but this time I couldn't disagree more.   

My daughter is 91/2 years old and cannot stay in her own bed all night. We have tryed everything imaginable to convince her she is safe. She is afraid, like the girl on the show yesterday. Dr. Phil said there is simple therapy for fears like this. I would really like to know where to get this kind of therapy. We have seen a psyhcologist for this problem. He ultimately told us she is afraid and let her come in my room or her brother's rooms. We are ALL tired of finding her on the floor in our rooms in the morning!