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Topic : 03/30 Is This Normal?

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Created on : Friday, January 20, 2006, 03:07:28 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 01/25/06) Have you ever found yourself in a bizarre situation? Do you think the people around you are acting unusual, and you want to know why? Dr. Phil helps his guests distinguish what's normal and what's not. First up, Lynette doesn't think it's normal for her 78-year-old father, Forrest, to want to be a country music star. Forrest feels like his daughter is discriminating against him because he's old. Then, Suzie says her husband, Steve, won't get rid of the family dog -- even though it recently bit their baby girl in the face, and she had to be rushed to the hospital! Steve wants to know if he's crazy for wanting the dog back in the house. Plus, a guest says she's able to see into the future and wants to know if she should alert her friends to the visions she has about them. Share your thoughts.

 

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January 25, 2006, 8:08 am CST

dog bite

During the show the father of the little girl that was bitten by the dog said he was worried he would resent his wife if he had to get rid of the dog. I can't help but wonder how resentful and hurt the little girl is going to be when she is older  looking at her scarred face every day in the mirror realizing that her father was more concerned with the dogs well being than hers. I think this little girl is going to have real trust issues with her parents later on. I know I would if I was forced to live with my attacker!
 
January 25, 2006, 8:12 am CST

IS STEVE CRAZY?

My daughter was attacked in the face by a neighbor's dog when she was 4-years-old.  She was playing in the yard with their children as an invited guest.  My heart went out for Jenna and Suzie!  I actually got teary remembering the whole incident.  My daughter had her right cheek actually ripped off of her face.  The wound went from the corner of her eye, the cheek was removed, and the dog ripped the corner of her mouth down to her chin.  Then the dog actually ate what he bit off!  This dog was the family pet.  A lab/shepard mix.  Had grown up with their children.  Had never shown any sign of aggression.  LESSON HERE:  Dogs are unpredictable!!  I was in my backyard only 2 houses away and I heard those screams.  That is something a mother NEVER forgets!!  I can see the pain and fear in Suzie's eyes when she says that dog will NEVER be around my child... and he NEVER SHOULD!  My daughter was hospitalized for a week and required a 4"x5" skin graft from her hip to her face to replace the missing skin and muscle.  Then she faced tremendous pain from the inital wound (which had to be left unrepaired for 3 days because of risk of infection) and both of the additional surgeries she has had to work on removing the skin graft.  The dressing changes were like a nightmare for all of us.  She was unable to close one eye for almost 6 months.  She has permanent nerve damage to that side of her face.  She slept in my bedroom for over a year from fear and nightmares.  We were all in therapy for months.  She has had 2 additional surgeries since but will forever have massive scarring on the entire right side of her face.  She is now 12 years old and loves animals of all types.  We also have pets, 2 dogs and a cat.  We also do rescue work with abused and neglected animals.  However, any animal, no matter how much we love it, who shows any sign of aggression towards humans is not acceptable.  I love our dogs like they are my children but I would put them down in a second, no matter how painful and sad, if they ever showed any threatening behaviors.  Dogs, no matter how special, are replacable.  My daughter is not and neither is Jenna!  It is our experience that once a dog bites and gets that taste, they will bite again.  No animal is worth a child's life.  My daughter and Jenna could have died had the dogs grabbed them by the necks and shoke them like prey.  Oddly enough, we were both lucky that they went for the face.  Lucky in that we have our daughters to cherish.  My prayers go out to Suzie and Jenna and Steve needs to get a reality check.  Has he ever thought of this from Jenna's perspective?? 

 
January 25, 2006, 8:13 am CST

never really liked Dr Phil

Dr Phil I have worked with all types of people especially people 65 and older as a nurse and finally  for once I agree with you. 

Never really liked your attitude and the whole tough love act 

But you defined normal perfectly 

It really applies to many areas of ones life 

I would only change the part about it disrupting the lives of others around you 

For example this show daughter is disrupting her own life by making an issue out of her father 's wanting to become a country singer 

So disrupting the lives of those around you is truly relative( no pun intended) to the scope at which the others perceptions, boundries, perimeter reaches into the vast definition of normal for them. 

In other words others in your life that are disrupted by your behavior have a choice not to  be involved in that behavior or act accordingly to what would make them feel better and if it what makes them feel better does not match what would make the you feel better they ought to stay out of it.   

Anyway like I said I never really like your shows even when on Oprah but I happened to just turn on the TV while you were definining what is normal.  And since I rarely agree with you -Your definition stuck out  so I thought I would post. I probably will never post again.   

 
January 25, 2006, 8:30 am CST

Bothered by 22 year old in bed with boyfriend

Is it normal for a 22 year old to be shown in bed with her live in boyfriend?  She looked and acted like a kid!   It wasn't too long ago that this would have been thought of as trashy!    They have money to take a cruise.........guess they don't have $25.00 for a marriage license.   
 
January 25, 2006, 8:38 am CST

Karen

I truly beleive that their are some people who can predict the future.  Not all of us can because not all of us are that sensitive to that sixth sence.  Karen said that she doesn't like having dreams of people especially when she sees someone die, and I can understand that.  I dreamt that my two grandparents died and one week later they did.  I have also had other dreams that came true, but I wouldn't consider myself psychic, just like Karen doesn't consider herself psychic, only sensitive.  I think it is good that she doesn't tell everyone things if they don't want to hear it.  She respects them in that aspect.  She seems like a well put together person and even though I would consider these preminitions a burden I think she handles them okay and good luck to her.
 
January 25, 2006, 8:42 am CST

01/25 Is This Normal?

Quote From: barbaraa

Is it normal for a 22 year old to be shown in bed with her live in boyfriend?  She looked and acted like a kid!   It wasn't too long ago that this would have been thought of as trashy!    They have money to take a cruise.........guess they don't have $25.00 for a marriage license.   
She's 22 for crying out loud.  She's an adult.  Most girls that live with their boyfriends do share a bed.  I wouldn't consider it trashy, she wasn't in bed with 3 guys!  Also, it was her boyfriend, not some guy off the street.  Maybe they don't want to get married, many people don't and who are you to judge.  If it makes them happy then let them be.
 
January 25, 2006, 8:46 am CST

children are the most precious thing in the world

My husband always said the only reason he would put a dog down is if it bit a child.  He meant it. Our fifteen yr old dog bit our son and it broke our haearts but he was put to sleep. It broke our hearts. This was 4 yrs ago and we still miss him to this day. But when it comes to our children they come first. Our dog wasn't even mean. He just got startled. Of course he was old. I really don't think he heard our son come up behind him. We also have grandbababies. Yes I think it is selfish to think of our feelings if one of our children can and did get hurt. CHILDREN COME FIRST NO MATTER WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
January 25, 2006, 8:49 am CST

A child is FOREVER

Quote From: lindsaych

I also have a deaf dalmatian, Lindsay, that bit my 2 yr old granddaughter, Jasmine.  Lindsay was startled from a dead sleep & came up w/mouth open which is very typical of ANY deaf dog.  For the most part, Dalmatians are most certainly not aggressive. They are wonderful, loving, energetic pets. Jasmine has a small scar on her cheek.  Between the age of 2 & 3, she was bitten a couple of more times by 2 other dogs, none aggressive. As Dr. Phil explained, the height of a 2 yr old subjects them to being bitten in the face. Even though we told her many, many times not to grab them around the neck & hug, she evidently could not resist. Jasmine is now 4 & she & the Dal are best buddies. In dog rescue, we see way too many dogs who have been abandoned because the owner is not responsible and/or caring enough to gain the knowledge to deal with the situation.  A dog is forever, not just until you have a child.   

A dog is forever?  So it is the child that should be removed from the home?  Come on.  The dog is a pet.  To be loved and cared for, and yes, hopefully to become a part of the family.   

However, if a family member...aunt, uncle, cousin, or even sibling, attacked my baby...they would not be allowed near my child again.  Why should it be any different for an animal.   

The child is FOREVER (unless he/she is killed by the family pet).  The dog is a family pet UNTIL it attacks a defenseless child! 

I've had dogs.  I loved them.  But my children will always come first, before an animal, and before any self-centered man! 

 
January 25, 2006, 8:58 am CST

Dr. Phil I'm not so sure...

I LOVE LOVE LOVE dogs! I was on the edge of my seat waiting to hear what side you'd fall on. I teared up when you said you're a dog lover. Yeah!!! My two dogs are my children and I couldn't part with them. Though I was glad, I'm not sure I agree with the solution. Now the dog will probably be left alone and confined more than before, to separate it from the child. That can't be good for the dog! Or the situation. And the child will repeatedly be taught that the dog is scary. The little girl is a victim and will have scars. The way the family handles the whole matter will determine how the little girl ends up feeling about dogs. My next door neighbor is terrified of and hates dogs because of some incident that happened to him as a child, and he's teaching his small children to follow suit. Any time I get the chance with his kids or others, I teach them how to handle and play with dogs. My dog scratched the cornia in my eye last year and did permanent damage to my eye and even my eyesite. He didn't mean to do it, he was trying to wake me up by pawing at me and I opened my eyes at a very unfortunate moment. I didn't get rid of him, I still have him. and love him. And forgive him and know it wasn't his fault. But it's my choice. My solution would have been.... if they could find a better home for the dog, wouldn't it be better for the dog to be with someone else who can better handle its particular issues? (Why are both dogs being punished by the way? Didn't just the one deaf dog do the damage?) The family could pick a new more suitable dog together that they can all love and enjoy together. I feel bad for the wife, the husband, the child AND the dog in this story. I think it's kind of a lose-lose situation.The gentleman on your show said he knew no one else would want his dog. Another dog lover, someone without younger children could very possibly be the best thing for the whole family, and the dog. Why not look? I know the gentleman would miss his dog at first but if it was in a good safe happy place, and he still had dogs to love at home, wouldn't everyone be happier??
 
January 25, 2006, 9:08 am CST

01/25 Is This Normal?

Quote From: pat1345

 You sound like a very knowledgable and devoted dog owner. It is unfortunate that most owners don't realize or care about the responsibility they have to their dogs and other people.  They don't want to put in the time and effort it takes to properly socialize and train their dogs.
But then, people don't want to take the time and effort to socialize their kids. Why should pets be any different? Dogs of course, they can easily dump if they don't behave.
This dog needs to be with someone who understand the breed and this dog's disability. Someone with no children. Or, he needs to be put down.

My dog showed no aggression towards animals when his first bite happened.  As a matter of fact he loves playing with other dogs. 

  

It was a werid thing.. My 19 year old daughter called me up and said she was babysitting a 4 year old and she needed to go by the house and get something.  I told her the dogs were not in their creates and she needed to leave the child in a safe place because 2 big dogs in her face would be scary. (a lab & dalmatain) She didn't listen to me.  She had the child on the porch.  The dal came out of the house and started to bark.  My daughter got scared picked up the child whose is now crying a ran away the dog went after them.  My daughter was able to protect the child but was CUT (not bitten) by the dogs teeth.  (she did have to go to the hospital)  The dog was under house arrest. for 10 days per the dog officer and our vet.  NO STRANGERS WERE ALLOWED AT THE HOUSE. again my daughter knew this  a week to the day she brought home a friend (that knew of the frist problem) I was home this time sitting on the couch.  I heard the dog barking but I could not get there fast enough. The friend turned to move away from the dog and the dog bite.  We(as a family) took the dog to many professionals.  The dog was also quaantined at our vets office for 10 days.  I brought him dinner and spent hours with him during that time.  The vet recommended us not to put the dog down.   the said they saw no agression while he was there.  We do everything in our power to prevent this from happening again.  We have taken the advise of the professional however I do not trust this dog or any dog 100% given any situation ANYONES dog can bite.  I protect my dog and I protect the people around him.  I introduce new people slowly to him.  Sorry if there are a lot of spelling errors, I am a work now and don't have a lot of time.   

 
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