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Topic : 03/30 Is This Normal?

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Created on : Friday, January 20, 2006, 03:07:28 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 01/25/06) Have you ever found yourself in a bizarre situation? Do you think the people around you are acting unusual, and you want to know why? Dr. Phil helps his guests distinguish what's normal and what's not. First up, Lynette doesn't think it's normal for her 78-year-old father, Forrest, to want to be a country music star. Forrest feels like his daughter is discriminating against him because he's old. Then, Suzie says her husband, Steve, won't get rid of the family dog -- even though it recently bit their baby girl in the face, and she had to be rushed to the hospital! Steve wants to know if he's crazy for wanting the dog back in the house. Plus, a guest says she's able to see into the future and wants to know if she should alert her friends to the visions she has about them. Share your thoughts.

 

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January 25, 2006, 2:45 pm PST

Dog Owners

Quote From: lh2000

We had a family friend with a dog that did the same sort of injury on their two year old( It is more common then you think) It took them 6 months and lots of pressure from family and friends to re-home that dog to a childless couple.  During that time both the child and dog suffered.  The dog confined to the side yard of the house with little or no attention or exercise (not too much of a change from his life previous).  The child living in extreme fear of the creature that resided there. 

  

 

 

  

 

The dog became a problem when the husband spend less and less time exercising him and training him.  Dogs that don't get daily walks and don't have regular interaction with people are never safe around kids.  Any kind of dog.  It is the father's fault that the dog attacked the child and the father does not deserve to own a dog or to be a father.  He clearly has no understanding of the responsibilities of either.

  

 

 

  

 

To have a dog around kids it needs to be well cared for both physically and emotional.  Dogs have needs far beyond food, water and shelter.  They take an hour at least a day to socialize and exercise.  If you don't meet the needs to the family dog then you should not have one, especially around small children.  For everyone’s sake have them spayed or neutered so they are calmer and more predictable around people.

  

 

  

   Look I own 2 Dalmations.I love them very much.The problem is people don't understand that CHILDREN COME FIRST.I have an 8 month old grandson that spends alot of time here.If my dogs bit him,GAMES OVER.......... 

    In the Bible it says God gave man daminion over all creatures great & small.Animals should know thier placer.If you can't teach them,then you don't need them.What I'm saying is the dod should have known there place before hand. 

  

  

        Besides the fact,this man picked the dog over his child...He should be bit. 

 
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January 25, 2006, 2:45 pm PST

Right about the dog, missed the mark about the husband

     After listening to the husband & wife talk about what happened with the dog, I totally agreed with Dr. Phil's compromise.  However, I feel very angry that Dr Phil did not address the way the husband defended his point of view.  The husband basically, ON TV, IN FRONT OF MILLIONS OF PEOPLE, blamed his wife for the whole incident.  I could tell she was crushed and I was crushed  for her.  I'm sure she didn't hear the entire audience gasp in disbelief with me, but hope when she gets home and watches it she knows that her husband is the only person that blames her.  It's just too bad that his is the opinion that matters most to her.  He even said it again later in the interview while people in the audience just shook their heads.  I think Dr. Phil should have made a point of this to the husband and should have urged him strongly to apologize and verbally acknowledge ways his wife is a great mother to their little girl. 

 
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January 25, 2006, 2:45 pm PST

Look at this from all sides...

I agree with Dr. Phil’s ideas, he was trying to be fair when addressing the dog bite guests on today's show. I think first and foremost the parents are to blame...Blame or no blame what is done is done and there is no where to go but forward which I think is the best suggestion that Dr. Phil made. Dog shelters are full and euthanasia is not an appropriate measure based on the circumstance (deaf dog instinctive reaction vs. aggressive behaviour).

  

 

 

  

 

Anyone who has dogs (I have 2 labs) knows that they are lovely creatures and they are the most amazing companions. However, these people should of assessed the situation the day that she got pregnant. Anyone with a sane mind should know that a dog in a home with a baby is an issue. Not necessarily a bad situation but you must take certain precautions if you should choose to raise your family including the dogs.

  

 

  

 

If you choose to include the dogs when raising your family in your home you must never leave them unattended. I think that certain rooms should be designated for the animals to rest at ease. And other rooms so that the child can roam freely and play and then when they are both alert and supervised then both the child and the dog  can learn to interact with each other. I don't understand why people think that the day they bring home a baby the dog is going to understand what to do right away. Like HELLO don't you remember how many accidents they had before they went pee outside or how many cookies it took to get them to sit and stay? Of course they will need training and patience when introducing a child.

  

 

 

  

 

I think we can all learn from this situation and be happy that it was only a few bite marks on her face. We need to realize that if we want to bring babies home into a family that includes dogs we need to be educated and prepared. This does not give you a 'get out of jail free card' the minute the dog screws up. You committed to this dog's life that means its whole life and you owe it to your dog to teach it about the new baby and also respect its space. Older human siblings sometimes hit, bite and act outrageous when a new baby is brought home out of jealousy, but this is natural and we would never think on these terms as we would a dog, respectively. It’s just sad that we view animals as disposable.

  

 

 

  

 

Let us prepare our pets and our houses for new babies so this does not happen again. I hate to blame the dog and I feel deeply for this man and his dog. I also think that she needs to compromise and take some of the responsibility of this situation which naturally is a hard thing to do. But People saying that they should kill the dog, leave her husband..... wow that is like another 3 Dr. Phil shows we really don't need. Let’s work on problems and preventing them in the future instead of being ignorant.

  

 

 

 
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January 25, 2006, 2:48 pm PST

consider mental impact on child

I like Dr. Phil's suggestion of keeping the dog but making sure that it's always kept in a different room from the baby (through baby gates, fences, etc.). What the parents also need to worry about is how it's going to affect the child if she is always taught to fear the dog, never ever go near it, in the same room as it, etc. When the child is a little older and can understand the meaning of the word "gentle" or whatever, I think the two should be able to interact under the close supervision of the parents.
 
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January 25, 2006, 2:51 pm PST

your right

Quote From: mvanbrugge

I have to say that much of what I'm reading is simply not backed up by science and statistics. 

  

Yes, all animals (including humans) are somewhat unpredictable.  However, as someone else alluded to, past behaviour predicts future behaviour.   

  

Given that over 99% of dogs will never be involved in an attack at any time in their lives, that suggests nearly all dogs are relatively safe to be around.  When we combine that with proper training and supervision, that significantly reduces the likelihood of inappropriate behavior. 

  

Dogs that bite have almost always behaved aggressively in the past (with the exception of some medically detectable conditions). 

  

It is pure myth that "some dogs just snap".   I have not researched a single dog attack case where the dog did not have a known history of menacing barking, growling, lunging, or attempted bites.  Most dog owners deny their dogs' aggressive behaviour...which is actually likely the reason the aggressive behaviour was allowed to progress to the point of biting, in the first place.  What does Dr. Phil say?  "You can't change what you don't acknowledge."   Denying or minimizing the escalating aggressive behaviour in your dog is a recipe for disaster. 

  

In any event, let's stop making negative generalizations about all dogs, when we're really just discussing this one case of irresponsible dog ownership. 

  

In this case, the dog's poor training led to the bite.  Merely avoiding the situation (i.e. isolating the dog) guarantees the dog will be no less likely to bite, a year from now.  The ONLY way to correct aggressive behaviour is active re-training and re-socialization.  Avoidance, management, and other evasive ideologies do nothing to redirect the dog's inappropriate behaviour. 

  

This dog can be re-trained.  Will they do it?  Probably not.  Most owners of aggressive dogs don't bother to properly re-train them.  Many choose to isolate the dog 'til its behaviour gets worse (due to the isolation) at which point they choose to dump the dog on someone else, or kill it.  Often, a second or third bite is needed before these kinds of people are willing to make these decisions. 

  

If the dog had just been properly raised, trained, socialized, and supervised, it would never have bitten.  The very best example parents can set for their children is responsible pet ownership.  This prevents bites, in the first place.  Should a bite occur, the best example is to do everything possible to re-train the dog, even if it means personal or financial sacrifice.  This teaches children that dogs are worthy of sacrifice, and that we don't just give up on family members.  If, after seeking professional assistance, and doing everything they can, the owner is still unable or incapable of re-training the dog to live safely in the home, then the owner must make the difficult decision to either re-home the dog with a competent individual, or have it humanely destroyed.  While the latter is not the best lesson to teach children, it is far better than teaching children it is okay to relegate an innocent, social animal to a life alone, in a cage, or in the yard.   

Dal's can't be kept in a cage or a yard.  They need the interaction.  I am not saying that other dog can be kept that way.  What I am saying is that I know Dal's to need a lot of attention.  My Dal is with me from the moment that I get home until I leave.  They crave the love and affection.  However the professionals told us to crate train our dogs until they were trained.  Unless we have company their crate doors are always open they choose when to go to them and they do.  Sometimes it is like ok I have had enough people time or I can't get comfortable and they lie in their creates.  I don't think this guy is a bad pet owner I just think he didn't realize it would happen.  Hind site is 20/20 I can look back and pull apart every move my Dal made before he bit and say "OH I should have seen this coming."  I prefer to look to the future and find the answers I need to make sure it doesn't happen again. Thats what this family needs to do. Find what works best for them and bring the dogs home.
 
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January 25, 2006, 2:52 pm PST

Steve

 

  

  

  

  

  

Being a dog lover we do understand, but your child must come first, NO IFS ! ANDS ! or BUTS !   Find your dog a really good home with a loving couple who don't have children and that way your dog will get plenty of love and affection.  We hope it all works out well for everyone involved. 

 
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January 25, 2006, 2:53 pm PST

DOG AND CHILD PROBLEM

       THE CHILDREN SAFTY IS ALWAYS FIRST AND DR. PHIL GIVES WONDERFUL  ADVICE. GET IN TOUCH WITH AN ANIMAL BEHAVERALIST, IT'S WORTH THE MONEY ALL THE WAY AROUND. YOU WANT TO PROTECT YOUR FAMILY AND THE DOG AND OTHER PROBLEMS COULD ARISE FROM KEEPING THIS TYPE OF DOG IN A DOG RUN. I HAVE AN ANIMAL RESCUE AND I KNOW YOU AND YOUR WIFE DON'T WANT TO GIVE HIM UP BECAUSE HE WAS YOUR CHILD BEFORE THE BABIE AND YOU SHOULD THINK OF YOUR CHIL AND THE DOG FIRST WHATS BEST FOR THEM. CONTACT YOUR VET AND THEY CAN GET YOU IN TOUCH WITH  AN ANIMAL BEHAVERIST THEY KNOW WHAT THEY ARE DOING AND THEY WILL LET YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR IN STORE FOR IN THE FUTURE BECAUSE THE DOG ISN'T A BAD ANIMAL HE JUST DOESN'T KNOW WHAT HE'S DOING IS WRONG AND ALITTLE TRAING IS WONDERFUL FOR YOU AND THE DOG.
 
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January 25, 2006, 2:53 pm PST

you go

Quote From: willowcope

I'm tired of people blaming animals for their natural reactions of surprise and fear. The mother is to blame for putting her daughter in a situation where the middle-aged dog who is deaf would be surprised by her and react in self defense. She should change HER methods of parenting, not blame the dog. 

  

If I were the husband, I'd take the dog and move out. Their differences in the way they view animals would be a deal breaker for me. Animals are part of our families too. 

I agree
 
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January 25, 2006, 2:57 pm PST

two topics

Two fast items. 1. The dog - my adult daughter had a friend with a Dalmation dog and knew the dog. One day she walked up to the dog to say hello and he attacked her in the face and I had to rush her to the hospital for stitches inside her nose. It was very painful for her. I do not think that the breed should be left without supervision from the owner when anyone else is near the dog including thier own children and/or in a kennel or fenced in yard where the dog is safe and people are safe from him. There was no reason for the attack and the dog did know her and had greeted her many times. 2. The fears - my daughter - the same one - has so many fears that I have lost count. She suffers from anxiety and panic attack and has, I believe, many phobias that should be addressed by a professional. Unfortuneately, one of her fears is of the doctor which could be from her having 1st, 2nd, and 3rd degree burns as a child and being at the Shriner Burn Center in Boston for over a month and bandages for over a year. But my point is - to the person who has the fears - they are so real to them no matter how silly we think they are and no matter how much we tell them that they need not fear that... it affects the person not only mentally but physically... I have had to bring her to the hospital many times with her heart racing and her blood pressure sky high from a "fear"...  so when you judge, if you judge, a person with a fear or fears... just remember... to them... it is as real as you are....
 

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January 25, 2006, 2:58 pm PST

Fears and what about...?

I think the possibility of this little girl's future fear of dogs is so very real!  My mother is 81 years old and still stops in her tracks at the sight of a dog, any dog, unknown to her, of any size.  She was attacked by a dog when she was 3.  I think this Mom was right to keep the dog away and Dr. Phil gave great advice to help with a compromise.  I would also like to have seen a suggestion for the little girl to be introduced to a dog again so that she might not be afraid in the future and learns over time how to behave around them. 

  

I was also surprised that Dr. Phil didn't say more about about the comments made by the husband.  He said it was basically the Mom's fault that the daughter was bitten!!  What's with that???? 

  

Dr. Phil, how could you let that go with so little commentary!!!  That Mom is, I'm sure, already blaming herself.  She didn't need her husband blaming her too and on national television!!!!  I'm not so sure he puts his daughter or his wife before those dogs!!!!! 

 
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