Topic : 03/30 Is This Normal?

Dear Dr Phil, 

Three years ago, my olders son (35) went to Las Vegas and married a woman he only knew for 4 months.  Since then, she has complete control over him. He will not answer his phone and will not talk to anyone in the family or any of his old friends.  He used to be so happy and a real people person but now no one knows who his is anymore. His old friends say his is so miserable when they see him walking past them.  His wife never finished high school, will not work, had a 6 year old from an old boyfriend and shops everyday with my son's credit cards.  He even had to buy her a new car!  Everyone can see that she is using him and by isolating him from family and friends she has this hold on him that is very scary to me.  My son and I were so close, actually he was so close with all of us and now he ignores us.  Is it possible that he was brainwashed?  No one can believe that he has changed so dramastically.  I love my son and want him back in our lives, but I don't know what to do.  He has a 10 year old daughter, they were inseparatable. Now, his new wife doesn't want her in his life either, so he very rarely sees her anymore.  My heart breaks for her. If we can't understand what is happening, how can a 10 year old?  Should I go to his work and try to talk to him or just wait it out and hope that he opens his eyes to what is really going on. I am really scared for him because I don't know how to help him or what to do.  PLEASE HELP ME 

Anyone that has children knows that you can not watch them 24/7 to make sure this doesn't happen again by allowing the child and the dog together.  It doesn't make anyone a bad parent but yes accidents happen and to make sure that this doesn't happen again you get rid of the dog.  I am a mother of two and I have always tried to teach my children how to be nice to dogs, I wouldn't be able to do that if my child wasnt able to play with the dog but I also understand that they are going to get away from me and a split second is all that it takes for a dog to snap and bite or god forbid receive injuries that would be fatal to the child.  Keep your priorities in check and remember that dogs and animals are great but your children our priceless, don't confuse the two. 

    These parents need to understand that if it does happen again then they could get their children taken away from them by the state.  State and health officials would be all over you in a second if that dog attacked that child for the second time.  When I was growing up my neighborhood friend was taken away from his parents because he was attacked by their dog for the second time, plus they also had to put their dog to sleep.   So as a parent you have to ask yourself is my child or my child's life worth the risk just to keep this animal that is replaceable.  IF YOU SAID YES TO THAT OR HAD TO THINK ABOUT IT THEN YOU HAVE NO BUSINESS OWNING A  ANIMAL AND BEING A PARENT.  

Yes the father should care more that the child was hurt , and about its safety , but he does have to worry about the dogs general safety aswell. As Dr. Phil said , the dog has an impairment , being deaf , and the breed is not suitable for children. My mother had a canine who had a bad rep. for being a crazy dog. When my parents brought my eldest sister home from the hospital my mother caught the dog trying to bite my sisters head , which got the dog an automatic rejection from the home and humainly utinized. But it wasnt just because the dog was attempting to harm my sister but the dog had caused alot of chaos around the neighboor hood , having accually mutilated the neighbors grill. My cousin and I were chased by our uncles White German Sheperd , who got a hold of my cousin and caused a 2 inch wound into my cousins buttocks. But the dog had been known to be a bit violent.  

  

Not all dogs are bad , Only the canines raised unfairly or with a blaitent history of unruly behavior are the most concern for youth.  Parents should select a child friend breed of canine or any type of animal when children are present within the home. 

  

The mother and the father both had things right in their statements and things wrong. The mother was right to want safety for the child , but the dog was most likely startled by the childs sudden presence and was defending himself most likely. The father should care a bit more for his daughters safety but he had right that the canine probably was spooked and to keep the baby a good distance away or be introduced to it to where it can directly see the child coming on so as not to scare it so. Yet Dr. Phils compromise will surely help the family in the long run. 

I can totally relate to the girl who's afraid of being alone all the time.   I almost fell off of my chair when I heard her mom raised her locked in, that's my story.  I wasn't sure if that was why, but now that I think of it, it makes sense.  My mom was a nervous, anxious person.  The kicker was, she didn't even take care of us adequately, but she made sure we were locked in our rooms most of the time, we only went out to school and church, just back and home, then into our room.  

I am afraid of parking lots, afraid of windows.  I have always lived in upstairs apartments to make sure I don't have to worry about someone climbing in my window at night.  I can sleep with the windows open in summertime only because I live above ground level. 

My husband is going into the military and I stay up at night worried about being alone when he's deployed, it's a real, mind consuming thing for me and has colored my entire life negatively.   

I wish I knew how to get that behavioral therapy they talked about on the show, It is my dream to live free of fear.        

Who cares about the dog?  What about that little girl?  I hope she never sees this show .  That father should be ashamed of himself for putting a DOG ahead of his own baby.  Disgusting.  Dr. Phil, I'm a little disapointed that you did not rip into him a little more.

I thought Forest, the 78-year-old wanna-be country star was inspirational. You go Boy! Live your dream. Hell, I hope when i am 78 I am doing the same thing! The Hollywood stereotypes are disgusting and Forest is a breathe of fresh air. Does anyone know where I can get his CD? A website or something? I wanna hear his music really bad but Dr. Phil never gave his last name or any of the guy's album/song titles.

 I think Dr.Philwas way off on this one ! Once any dog tastes blood thats it period. I have rasied dogs and I know of no dog who didnt one day go back for that taste. It cant take years but it will happen. I cant believe Dr.Phil would tell them to keep a dog that does not do good with kids! All I can say to that is Whatever!!!!

I agree with the fact that this is not the breed to have around children.  I am involved with the breed that we have in the headlines today.  I have a responsibility to my children, my grandchildren, and my dogs, not to put any into harms way.  First is the children are not alone with the dogs.  No dog should have this privlige.  Second if the kids are old enough they should be taught to respect the dogs as living breathing things. Young kids should only be in close proximity with close supervision.  Ill or chronically troubled dogs should be no where where the kids might accidently interrupt them.  Anyone wanting a dog should do some research on the breed first.  Second if it is a breed that made the news now or in the past, locate a reputable breeder by contacting AKC or UKC for a list of that breed.   Call them and ask what they can expect.  These are simple things.  In the beginning of my hobbie, my pride and joy had done something I wasn't allowed by my own principle to let go of.  At that time I didn't realize that a young boy (9) had such a way of teasing a dog that they think the rough play is on.  My dog grabbed his arm as if in playing.  When my grandson swatted him off he thought he was still playing.  Finally he, grandson, climbed a tree to get away because the dog started shaking his head.  Most dogs do this when you play with a rope or such.  However with breed I have there can't be any room for doubt.  I put the dog down.  I still cry over that after all this time.  But I would do it again if I had to.  To give him to a knew home would only post pone the inevitable, but next time serious damage could be done.  Children and people first, animal second.  And I love my dogs as if they were my kids.  They sleep with me and are in the house all the time.  To place that Dalmation in a run outside is cruel for the dog.  We know that Steve is not about to go out and play with this dog on a regular basis.  Every day for an hour or two.   To give the dog a new home doesn't guarantee that he didn't accidently bite someone, especially a child.  To put the dog down would be more humane than subjecting it to any abuse it might encounter because of his fear.

I own 7 dogs, 3 small ones, and 4 English Mastiffs, the 4 large ones weigh between 160-240 lbs a piece. I got the first mastiff because we were broken into, and have had alot of home invasions in our area. When I went to choose my large protector dogs, I researched large dog breeds for 2 years, until we chose English Mastiffs. A deaf dog would never make a good pet for any family. It appears when they bought the dogs they did not plan for the future. The deaf dog should of been gone before the child came into the home I chose the Mastiffs for their ability to guard and their reputation for being a good family pet.I personally have raised and bred animals for over 20 years. My husband had to be taught more extensive animal skills, and my 2 children 4 an 8 are learning how to be around these giant friends. I know that I am the alpha person in my home, when I leave the dogs are outside. I displine them, feed them and train them. Its very important when you have large dogs they know the rules, and all of your family and friends stick to the rules. I make sure that when I feed them no one is in "their area'. We have had one issue. My 7 year old jumped on my 2 year old males back when he was in a deep sleep, and he thru his head up and nipped at my son.  

The bottom line is that you can never let your guard down. When I am present my kids dress them up, ride them, the dogs pull sleds. My kids sleep on them, watch tv on them. These are great animals, but everything has its breaking point. I also think anyone who is purchasing a pet who is ever considering a family had better choose the breed wisely.