Message Boards

Topic : 03/30 Is This Normal?

Number of Replies: 1000
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, January 20, 2006, 03:07:28 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 01/25/06) Have you ever found yourself in a bizarre situation? Do you think the people around you are acting unusual, and you want to know why? Dr. Phil helps his guests distinguish what's normal and what's not. First up, Lynette doesn't think it's normal for her 78-year-old father, Forrest, to want to be a country music star. Forrest feels like his daughter is discriminating against him because he's old. Then, Suzie says her husband, Steve, won't get rid of the family dog -- even though it recently bit their baby girl in the face, and she had to be rushed to the hospital! Steve wants to know if he's crazy for wanting the dog back in the house. Plus, a guest says she's able to see into the future and wants to know if she should alert her friends to the visions she has about them. Share your thoughts.

 

Find out what happened on the show.

 

More March 2006 Show Boards.


As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

User Mood
Scared

Message Emote
sad
January 25, 2006, 6:56 pm PST

SAME OL' SONG

Quote From: mvanbrugge

The dog breeds that have killed children include: YORKSHIRE TERRIER, Pomeranian, Lhasa Apso, Dachshund, Cocker Spaniel, Labrador Retriever, Golden Retriever, and Chesapeake Bay Retriever.  Over the past few decades, every group of dog breeds, and over 40 individual breeds, have killed humans.  Still, more people die tripping over their own slippers than are killed by dogs. 

  

When I discuss dogs being "properly" or "adequately" supervised, I know I presume that the person supervising is ready to act, to avoid any injury or difficulty.  I sometimes ask,  

  

"Is a child being adequately supervised if the parent merely watches him/her run out into the street?  Don't we presume the adult is going to prevent the child from running into the street when we say he/she is being 'supervised'; not that the adult is merely observing the child's actions, good or bad?" 

  

I think most reasonable people would presume some form of prevention when they discuss supervision.  Parents bear the responsibility for properly supervising their children.  Dog owners bear the responsibility for properly supervising their dogs.  When they're one in the same, it is double duty. 

  

I have expertise in this field (dog trainer for 30 years, educator, writer, consultant, and dog bite statistics expert).  Dogs are not mythical beasts ready to lash out at so-called "precious" children.  (And I have to say I've met a lot more dangerous children than dogs in my life!)  Dogs are a different species; one that humans CHOOSE to bring into their homes.  With that choice comes the responsibility to teach the dog what is and isn't appropriate behaviour towards humans.  It's really no more difficult than that.  Unfortunately, with our "take no responsibility" society, it is voiceless dogs who pay the ultimate price for the owners' negligence.  

  

"If you aren't committed to BOTH your dog AND your child, you shouldn't have either one." 

DOGS DON'T KILL PEOPLE, PEOPLE KILL PEOPLE WITH THEIR IRRESPOSIBILITY
 
User Mood
Excited

Message Emote
happy
January 25, 2006, 6:57 pm PST

KEEP THE DOG!!!!

I completely understand Steve and his feelings for his dogs. I, too, have a dog who has bitten people. Though he has only once broken the skin (a friend of mine walked in the house with out knocking or anything and Mike grabbed him on the arm. Neither of us thought that was a bad thing. He was protecting the house! Anyway, I love Mike and all my other pets just the same as I love my human family. They are my children.  

  

Lets say that you have a mentally disabled child who is about 10 and another child who is normal, but 2. Lets say that your disabled child can be violent sometimes, but doesn't realize what hes doing? If he accidentally hurt your 2 year old, would you get rid of him? No, you would learn how to compromise and live together, no matter what. I think it would be good for folks to think of their pets in this way. They are not on the same mental level that most humans are. They do not think like we do and are impulsive and don't always understand us and what our intentions are. Just like some mentally challenged people.  

  

Dogs are dogs and no matter how well trained, I believe that they COULD pose a danger to anyone, given the right circumstances. But then what animal couldn't? Cats scratch babies all the time and I don't see anyone complaining.  

  

You cant protect your child from ever possible danger. A dog, or any other animal, MAY hurt you. I have a horse and she has both hurt me on purpose and by accident (like biting me or stepping on me). But that comes with the territory. You live around animals, you run the risk of injury. Just like anything else in life. What about driving? Or playing sports? You can die for both! No one is encouraging these people to get rid of their car. Even though it has a MUCH higher chance of hurting their baby than the dog.  

  

Also, I was annoyed that Dr Phil didn't bring up the idea that maybe with the mother acting this way about the dog, she may be setting up her baby for a life time of fear. She may well remember the incident and that she was never allowed around dogs after that. Its seems a bit extreme to me. One accident and ALL dogs are banished from her life?  

  

Well, thats my 2 cents anyway. I love dogs and if any of my animals hurt my children, well figure out a way to live together. I don't throw out my family members. No one 'attacks' for no reason. There is always a reason, its just a matter of being smart enough to figure it out. 

 
User Mood
Happy

Message Emote
blank
January 25, 2006, 7:00 pm PST

dogs don't have inhibitions

dogs don't have critical thinking skills. 

they have reactions. 

you cannot train or expect any dog to not snap, given the proper stimuli and situation, because under everything, they're animals, with different personalities, not programmable machines.  

  

i'm having a hard time with all the 'dog trainers' on this threads advice.  as responsible trainers, you should really know that the humans usually need the training more than the dogs.   

 
User Mood
Happy

Message Emote
blank
January 25, 2006, 7:01 pm PST

What???

How could he even think about keeping that dog?  All of the dogs that I had when I was growing up knew how to handle a child bothering them - they got up and walked away.  Any other response was not acceptable.  That dog would not be welcome back into my home, either.  I also had "dog children" before my kids were born, but my priorities instantly shifted when I brought my first child home.  It's not that I didn't love my dogs anymore, I just loved my children more.  He is insensitive to his wife's feelings and concerns, even though she is the one that witnessed the attack and held her bleeding, screaming child.  That child will forever be scarred emotionally and physically by what that dog did to her, but go ahead and bring her worst fear back into your home.  Does that make sense to anyone? 

  

Dr Phil, I almost always agree with you, but I take issue with you in this show.  He blamed his wife for the attack, she is sitting there crying, and you left him alone.  I wanted to rip his head off!  How arrogant of him to say he needs to "train" his wife to prevent these attacks.  How about avoiding the problem altogether by not bringing the dog back into the home?  Period.  There would be no room for negotiation - either the dog goes, or he can go with it.  Maybe, once your child is ready, you can get a puppy that can be raised with your child.  Then they can grow up with a mutual respect for each other, and your child will have a chance to heal on the inside.  If you bring that dog back into your home, she could fear dogs forever. 

  

You go, mommy, for sticking to your guns and not allowing the dogs back into your home!  If he resents you for getting rid of a danger to your child, then maybe he needs to adjust his priorities. 

 
User Mood
Happy

Message Emote
blank
January 25, 2006, 7:02 pm PST

01/25 Is This Normal?

Quote From: blade2

This dog is a Dalmation for goodness sake.  Why was the child allowed to crawl or walk up to it, and get in it's space?  An 18 month old!  The dog reacted natrually to a startle response, & I find the mother was irresponsible in allowing the child to crawl or walk into it's space.  Small children have no sense  of fear, and the family realises that the dog had issues before the bite.  The dog should never have been loose in the house when the child was awake.  There are options to co-exist, fencing is the first.  The dog isn't going to jump up and go FIND the child to bite it.  It is up to the parents to see that the child is safe from the dog, AND that the dog is safe from the child, which makes the child safe!     

   

You are exactly right.  But this thing happens to dogs and children every day....and most of the time the dog shows really good bite inhibition and doesn't maim the child.  This dog has did NOT inhbition his bite.  Which mean, in all likelihood, if an accident happens again, the child will be bitten just as badly the next time. Management is never 100%.  If you really want to understand how to deal with kids and dogs together see www.livingwithkidsanddogs.com
 
User Mood
Mellow

Message Emote
blank
January 25, 2006, 7:05 pm PST

dogs biting family

Quote From: oahumom

you train dogs???  dogs do NOT 'just adapt'.   i moved to hawaii last year.  as an animal professional, i'm sure you're aware of the stringent regulations involved in bringing a dog here from the mainland.  my dog was away from us for 4 months, absolutely no contact, living with another family, in michigan, instead of staying in the state mandated quarantine here while his paperwork and bloodwork was approved.  my point is, he recognized us, by SIGHT, at the animal pick-up, before we even saw him.   

no one should live in fear in their home, i agree, and to alleviate their fear, they SHOULDN'T LET THEIR TODDLER CLIMB ALL OVER A DEAF DOG!  the dog shouldn't live like that either.  the dad shouldn't admit the dogs a danger, his wife should admit she messed up.  would they blame the windex manufacturer if their daughter got in a cabinet and swallowed some?  no, they'd realize they weren't being responsible! 

Your experience is with your own dog, that is one dog. I never said they don't recognize or remember people, but I stand by my statement that they do adapt. Yours' did, he was with another family for 4 months! That's a long time. What good does it do to *blame*. And I am sorry, but that dog is a "danger"! I understand the dog was startled, but it's not really a good excuse, simply for the fact that he caused alot of harm to this little girl! This dad will have to face this very soon.
 
User Mood
Worried

Message Emote
worried
January 25, 2006, 7:05 pm PST

Thank you

Thanks, Dr. Phil, for not minimizing the real fear that many women have regarding staying alone, mostly at night.  I thought I was the only one in my neighborhood who had this fear, but found out my neighbor across the street, who I considered to be "strong," was worse than I.  I dread my husband passing before I, it would mean, I fear, many sleepless nights ahead.  Wish I could finally be rid of this fear, forever. 
 
User Mood
Weird

Message Emote
worried
January 25, 2006, 7:06 pm PST

WHOSE Odd Behavior?

This was one of those shows which make me not sure whether to bow down to Phil’s genius, or to throw dirty socks against the television screen while yelling that he has totally missed the boat. 

  

  

I HOPE the resolution on today’s show was a KIND way of letting Suzie off the hook for so tackily hiding behind an innocent child and issuing such a manipulative, deal-breaking, cheesy ultimatum to hide her obvious guilt. 

  

  

Steve’s behavior is FAR from odd and neither he, his daughter, or his dog deserve to have been put in such a situation IN THE FIRST PLACE. 

 
User Mood
Happy

Message Emote
blank
January 25, 2006, 7:06 pm PST

01/25 Is This Normal?

Quote From: imapetvet

Doglover 82, 

  

I was reading all the responses to the dog bite issue, and your mention of your dog showing teeth to your daugher concerns me greatly.   You say you are not concerned that Baby will bite your daughter, but you should be!  If your daughter pesters her to the point of growling and showing teeth, it could easily escalate to a bite.  Based on the breeds, I assume your dog is large, so a bite could be serious or even deadly.  I am a firm believer that most dog bites to children are due to situations where the dog is frightened or frustrated by the childs behavior.   Your daughter is too young to understand that Baby needs her space, so it is up to you to be sure she is not put in a situation where she can be bitten.  Again, it sounds like a bite is highly likely to happen.  Please consult a veterinary behaviorist or trainer for further advise specific to your situation.  In the meatime, do not allow you young daughter to be in the floor at the dog's level.  Keep the two separated.  Good luck, and hope your 2-legged and 4-legged kids can grow up together with only positive experiences.  

You should absolutely be concerned about your dog biting your child.  The early warning signals are there...your dog is growling and showing teeth!  Those are PRECURSORS to further aggression. They are the warning signals that always come first.  ou are correct that most dog bites occur because the dog is frustrated.  A frustrated dogs asks for help in many ways....stress signals in dogs include lip licking, avoidance, panting, yawning and then progress to more obvious things such as growling and snarling.  You've missed some of the early signs but are seeing the later ones.  If the dog continues to be in this situation he may at some point lose his tolerance and proceed to biting.  I would highly recommend checking the Association of Pet Dog Trainers www.apdt.com to find a qualified trainer and also read the book Living With Kids and Dogs...Without Losing YOur Mind www.livingwithkidsanddogs.com
 
User Mood
Scared

Message Emote
ecstatic
January 25, 2006, 7:09 pm PST

So right

Quote From: shrimpety

when i met my husband he had a deaf dalmatian. he made a point to keep kids away from her since she was old and couldn't see very well. what a sweet angel she was. losing her was like losing a child.  

  

we have since bought a male dalmatian. we looked for a long time to find a breeder that was breeding for temperment, not for profit. what we got was an amazing male dal that is absolutely incredible. we took him straight to puppy school and worked very hard on his training. he even passed his canine good citizen test. prior to meeting my husband, his girl mollie and getting our dal i never would have considered getting one but now i couldn't imagine not having spots running around the house! 

  

when we are out, kids want to run up to him beause he is amazingly handsome and charming. we always ask them to go slow, let him sniff and if we think the child might not be able to handle petting him, we kindly ask them to just look and not touch. by nature they are protective and high energy. the pawprints that boy has left on my heart are huge!  

  

to this day i am simply amazed at how wonderful he is. truly a great dog who i am very proud of. we are very protective of him and make every effort to set him up for success in social situations.  

  

dal lover at sea spots ranch! 

  

This is what I try to tell people.  Anyone can hook up two dogs, even ones that are registered.  That's not the key.  The key is finding a reputable breeder.  Thanks
 
First | Prev | 33 | 34 | 35 | 36 | 37 | 38 | 39 | 40 | 41 | 42 | Next | Last