Message Boards

Topic : 06/27 Cut 'Em Off!

Number of Replies: 157
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, January 27, 2006, 02:38:41 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 01/31/06) They can be young, they can be old. If they live in your house and spend all your hard-earned money -- they're moochers! First, Nancy and her four siblings are fed up with their mooching 21-year-old brother, Matt. He sleeps all day, has no job and depends on their father for all his expenses. They're concerned about the stress it's causing their dad. Can Dr. Phil convince Matt to set some goals for himself? Next, Pat, 49, says the only thing he has in common with his freeloading twin brother, Mike, is the roof over their heads! Can Pat get his twin on his own two feet before it destroys Pat's marriage? Plus, an update on the family of 13 all living in a trailer together. Who's the newest moocher? Join the discussion.

 

Find out what happened on the show.

 

More June 2006 Show Boards.


As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

January 31, 2006, 3:30 pm CST

Dr. Phil - You are awesome !!

Dr. Phil--  I just watched your segment with the 22 yr old "moochin" off of his father. I must say that the way you handled him and the entire family was so positive and inspiring to me.  I have 2  adult children who have gone through various stages of  "motivation"  towards being independent and the way you honed in on the fact that socially Matt cannot get around the fact he does nothing- was great ! Offering your help to Matt,  while being gentle on the dad was a moment that made me realize why I love you and your show so much !!  Thank you for being so professional.  

Since I do not post too many messages, I must say that I love the way you are so good to Robin. She is a beautiful person , but the way you involve and treat her has brought me to tears on several occasions. I love the fact that she is involved with your show.  

Anyway-- Thanks for  a great show today and everyday.  

Kathy  

 
January 31, 2006, 3:36 pm CST

Enable your kids to be independent, not dependent!

My mother and stepfather had three sons.  I lived with them from about age 8 until my stepfather booted me out when I was 18, and I have supported myself through thick and thin ever since.  My brothers are another story entirely.  My stepfather passed away in 2003 and the oldest and youngest boys (43 and 39 years old, respectively) were living with their parents then, as they always had.  My mom remarried in  January, 2004, sold the family home and told the boys they were on their own.  She then  passed away suddenly and unexpectedly in August of that year.   

  

My stepfather was psychologically abusive, and my mother passive - and these young men had every bit of self-confidence worn out of them, while at the same time they were enabled to remain at home.  I believe that their complete absence of self-confidence and self-worth are largely the contributing factor to their inability to support themselves.  The youngest brother has suffered the most - becoming reclusive and withdrawn from the world, relying on the little bit of inheritance my mother left him to live in a residence motel with his oldest brother, who to his credit is now employed full time by the motel.   

  

The dynamics in this family were ugly and destructive, and I feel so fortunate and blessed to have escaped from it in time to become a fully self-reliant adult.  My heart aches for these men who have little hope of living full, joyous, and complete lives because of the abuse they suffered in their childhood.  The middle brother was able to stand on his own, get married, and live a relatively normal life, but he also fears for what will happen to the youngest sibling when his inheritance runs out.   

  

I'm sharing this as a cautionary tale for you parents who believe the best way to love your children is to let them live with you with no accountability or responsibilities.  You are setting them up for failure; both economically and socially.  You are being selfish in your unwillingness to turn them out of the nest to become members of society - to live lives that are fulfilling and rewarding on their own merits.  You need to face the reality that you will not live forever, and if you do not give your children the tools to become independent, they will truly suffer in unimaginable ways when you are gone. 

  

Support your children - absolutely!  But do it in ways that encourage, edify, and uplift them so that they can achieve all that you dream of for them, and all that they dream of for themselves.  Teach them to dream - and guide them toward making those dreams come true.  Show them the value of a dollar earned, for there is no value learned in a free ride. 

 
January 31, 2006, 3:44 pm CST

Shame on Matt

I think Matt knows exactly what hes doing!  I think he needs boot camp or a good ****kickin!  There is no way I would have gotten away with that when I was that age.  I've worked sine I was 14 years old.   I also have an 18 year old daughter who graduated in June 05.  She got a good job, making good money for her age.  I helped her out by getting a loan for a car for her.  She makes the car payment & pays the insurance.  She also plans to go to school this summer.  My 14 year old will be working where I do in a few weeks.  He might only make $50.00 a week or so, but he cant wait to start!  I think as parents, we want our kids to have all the things that we didnt have. (Cell phones, video games etc..).  I dont have a problem with that, but they need to work & contribute to the family to earn it.  I mean, who is going to marry a guy like Matt!  Not my daughter!
 
January 31, 2006, 3:46 pm CST

My 2 sisters are moochers

  

I have power of attorney over my dad, and my dad lets my 2 sisters mooch off of him all the time. They are both over 21 and one have a boyfriend that mooches as well. I am sick of it, I told all of my family off receintly and feel great. Now they know exactly how I feel about it, not like they will care about that. Due to the fact they think of themselves only. 

  

Pissed off 

Charlie 

 
January 31, 2006, 3:48 pm CST

This is Patetic

I,m only 21 and everything that I own is because I have earned it along with my husband. I have been working since I was 16 years old. I paid for my school, my car, and even the house that I own. It's incredible how easy this 21 year old has is it and takes advantege of the situation in the worst way. I would have loved for my parents to have paid for my school and my car and provide me with a place to live. But life was never that way for me. Thankfully because of that, I can look in the mirror and say that I am very proud of what I have accomplished. and to me this is a big deal. These people have to stop freeloading off of their families and get a job.Their family needs to take drastic mesures. This is really patetic.
 
January 31, 2006, 4:00 pm CST

When will the nightmare end???

Quote From: shortly

My son married at the age of 19, his wife and her family gave him a job, a car and a home. She worked 3 jobs to maintain the lifestyle only to come home and find the bum had quit his job and was lying around the house partying with his friends. She yelled, he pushed her and it was all over. I allowed him back home several times only to find myself at the police department getting a restraining order to have his lazy arse removed from my home. 

 

Fast forward: 

 

He is now 33 years old, he has never held a job more then a month, only now he's living back home with his girlfriend, her two kids and their baby in MY house. STILL NO JOB! I have moved away to Dallas now and they are living off my mothers Social Security check (who can't even afford a candy bar because they are costing her every cent she has) and the childrens $50.00 a week child support payment from her two other children. I'm so ashamed and embarassed. He's a drunk, a pot smoker and even charged me in the past to take out his own garbage.  

 

For the record: 

 

If it weren't for those children I would kick his butt to the moon, however as long as they are living there he will never move and she is willing to work but he will not allow it because he is incapable of taking care of his OWN baby while she works.  

 

I pay the mortgage, the water, the sewer and all the taxes and insurance on that house. My mother pays the gas and electric, cable tv and phone and she's broke! 

 

PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!! I'm living a nightmare. 

Help!!! I'm at wit's end and extremely stressed, just writing about the mooch in my family makes my chest tighten up - I just don't want to deal with my step-son for one more minute.  Quick synopsis - He's almost 25, and is intelligent, but he hasn't held a job or done anything since he graduated from high school almost 7 years ago.  He has been in and out sooo many times, that I've lost count.  The last time he came back I was out of town or it would have never happened.  He was to be here 5 days it has been 5 months.  My husband is on the road alot so he does not have to deal with him lousing around day after day.  It has gotten to the point where my 2 young sons and I hide in a bedroom just to get away from the mooch's lazy ways. He's a drug addict, and a thief.  He stole from us while we were gone.  He lies constantly but my spouse is afraid that he will get hurt if he goes out on his own.  Why can't he see what it is doing to the rest of us?   Any suggestions?  I want a life for my children that does not exist of fear, anger, frustration that their "brother" inflicts upon us daily!!!
 
January 31, 2006, 4:09 pm CST

Living at home

I have a son who is 19 and he lives at home. I blame myself for the fact that I have not really prepared him for the future. I would like to know what Dr. Phil's solution to getting Matt help is?????
 
January 31, 2006, 4:13 pm CST

Mooch on

 'Ol Matt even looks like a moron. Just a mouth breather. I had a boyfriend That mooched off me for 5 years. In the beginning he had a job, home, etc. Soon after we met it all wnt away. matt is just like him. No integrity. I finally got rid of the leach and so should Matt;'s family
 
January 31, 2006, 4:18 pm CST

Pathetic is the word!

Quote From: merrysun1

I,m only 21 and everything that I own is because I have earned it along with my husband. I have been working since I was 16 years old. I paid for my school, my car, and even the house that I own. It's incredible how easy this 21 year old has is it and takes advantege of the situation in the worst way. I would have loved for my parents to have paid for my school and my car and provide me with a place to live. But life was never that way for me. Thankfully because of that, I can look in the mirror and say that I am very proud of what I have accomplished. and to me this is a big deal. These people have to stop freeloading off of their families and get a job.Their family needs to take drastic mesures. This is really patetic.

  

  I've started buying my own clothes, schoolbooks and cigarettes at 12 years old. I was only a babysitter earning ONE DOLLAR AN HOUR. 

  At 18 and 2 days I was out of my parents house. My parents aren't monsters or anything like that,  it's just something GROWN UPS HAVE TO DO TO BE USEFULL AND FEEL PROUD. 

   What about that 49 year old living off is brother ???????? 

   He doesn't even begin to get close to ever know what PRIDE is. 

   Too much pride is never good, but come on, YOU HAVE TO HAVE SOME ! 

  

 
January 31, 2006, 4:45 pm CST

Why do they let them do this

Hi Dr. Phil,

  

 

  

I have an ex that lives with his brother. My ex is 53 and his brother is 50. They have been roommates for over 20 years. My ex pay's for all the rent, utilities, food (they eat three meals outside the house) car insurance, the only thing he pays for is his cloths. My ex even paid for his brother’s date last month that didn’t work out. When we were supposed to get married I guess his brother was supposed to move in with us. This was my first marriage and well I was scared to death on being with one guy and two well I wasn't looking forward to that, but i wasn't going to kick him out on the street you know.His dad and sister didn't want him back with them. Was this my responsablity to take care of him?  Why do they do this? And most of all why did my ex choose him over me...Oh i should tell you that i asked his 18year old niece and boy friend not to drink at the wedding. Do to there would be police(that are married to the people i'm inviting) there and i didn't want to go to jail. and later that night she fliped out. 

  

Any help would be helpful.

  

 

  

Thank you

  

 

  

Barb

  

 

  

  

  

  

  

 
First | Prev | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Next | Last