Quote From: gbronson
I was watching today’s episode in hope of some advice for dealing with my mothers hoarding problem but was somewhat disappointed. Misty’s situation looked cute compared to my mothers although it was not as traumatic as John’s. But my grandmother is 95 and our family dog only has a few years left in him so I strongly believe that she will follow the path of John in several years. What I was disappointed in was that both cases involved subjects who were willing to change their lifestyles for their family. What is one to do if they do not want to change when confronted? I confronted her both compassionately and angrily but with no avail. I even suggested having a third party mediate but she is just too stubborn.
What makes the situation so much worst is that her hoarding of possessions had extended into individuals. My brother is a college drop out still living with his parents who has literally locked himself in his room for five years in front of the computer watching TV and playing video games. No friends, no job, just sit around in his room all day. My father has tried almost everything to try to motivate him but my mother undermines all of his efforts by lying for him and giving him a monthly allowance even at 27. She simply enjoys his company and will not alter the status quo. I try to convince her that it is an unhealthy lifestyle for him but she thinks that there is no problem.
On top of my family’s problem, my father is currently fighting malignant cancer.
He is fighting for his life and he is banished to a small corner of the house that is cluttered with my mother’s possessions. She recently brought back a truck load of furniture and “stuff” even though it drives him raging mad. I just feel so frustrated and disgusted with my mother’s problem that we are no longer on speaking terms.
I try to confront the problem to make our family stronger but my mother and brother do not see a problem. My father also has found some sort of peace with his current situation, possibly distracted by the cancer, and does not believe anything will come about with my efforts. He had come to the conclusion she will never change after being married to her for over 30 years. So am I just being the ungrateful son that my mother thinks I am? Even with traumatic events in the horizon that will surely push her over the edge should I ignore the problems? Is there even a problem? I am so confused I don’t even know if my family is abnormal. As Dr. Phil says there is no “normal “ …
I personally feel Dr Phil opened My eyes today ....seeing both those houses
i never thought of my self as a horder ,yet i can not for the life of me throw out my kids things let me say this
last yr my mother died from a medical misshap and being oldest of her children i had the untimly task of taking care of her final resting and im still in thrawls of things
as estate has not closed
LET ME TELL YOU ALL
upon entering her HOMEafter her funeral
i walked into her room at the house i stood stunned as i had never gone into her bed room in years. it was her sanctuary or so i felt. she was after all my mother and biblically it says" honor thy mother& father"
she didnt want any of her daughters to go thru her things
when i entered she was dead i stood in complete shock...seeing boxes floor to ceiling was too much for me alone
i had two of my 4 siblings help me empty the house to sell it, the back yard and garage was worst
when i found my KINDERGARDEN papers i wanted to cry. but i couldnt.i am the oldest and im to be strong. when i watched Dr Phils show today i relalized im in that emotional state of mind
a lot of my mother stuff ended at my house and my kids and my husband gave my sisters a dead line to get it out of here.. fought them my family and im sitting in my dinning room with two dinning tables mine im at and my mothers aginst the wall
the HAPPIEST times in my life were at the dinning table and i cant let it go
as to kids clothing i have made a pile to do a donation and i see what i did when things didnt go right in my life and now with this show i understand why
MY question to DR phil......... you had a weight loss group WHY NOT MAKE A GROUP FOR THIS TOPIC...WE COULD USE A TIME TO UNDERSTAND EMOTIONAL LOSE EFFECTS ON THE BEHAVIOR NOW THAT YOU,VE OPEND PANDORAS BOX PLEASE KEEP THIS TOPIC OPEN
with your weight loss group you got golds gyms involved im sure with your vast conections and that of opra,s you could find a group or make one for those of us caught up with emotions with THINGS
i cant say i keep trash I do want to keep memorys..they are comforting when im low to know they are around WHAT DID ROBIN DO WHEN SHE LOST HER MOTHER?
i realize its an SOME WOULD CALL adiction hording
gosh my mohter kept strawberry baskets thinking one of her grand kids might need them for crafts
i am trying my best to be the BIG SISTER and sharing the things i found at my mothers home only now its consumming my house as well
PLEASE KEEP TALKING TO THESES PEOPLE- LET US YOUR TELIVISION AUDIANCE KNOW WHERE THEY ARE NOW?
IF THEY UN-CLUTTERED.............. SO WE CAN LEARN WHAT TO DO?
please direct us the lost who find emotional comfort in the things of good memorys as to the lady with all her daughters baby cloths i know her feelings i loved how cute my daughter was way back when JUST HOLDING HER BABY CLOTHS I FEEL THOSE HAPPY TIMES.... i have to let go
i AM TRYING. i know it
i just wonder why do THINGS replace affection?????
YOU LEFT ME WITH MORE QUESTIONS
care4all
(Original Air Date: 02/01/06) Do you know someone who can't seem to get rid of their clutter? They keep newspapers, magazines, old clothes, and just plain junk thinking it will come in handy one day. Dr. Phil talks to extreme hoarders, who are embarrassing their families and destroying their homes. Nancy says her husband, John, is a packrat who turned their beautiful four-bedroom home into what she calls "the black hole." The house became so overcrowded with junk that they were forced to live in a trailer, and now the trailer is nearly filled to the brim! Will John and Nancy ever be able to live in their house again? And how is John's hoarding affecting their three children? Then, Misty saves every piece of paper her kids write on, and every article of clothing they've ever worn. Her husband, Greg, can't understand why she can't just toss them out. What's behind her inability to throw things away? Share your stories, join the discussion.
