Topic : 06/21 "Throw It Out!"

I've been ashamed of this problem for more than 20 years.  About two years ago, my house burned down and I was griefstricken but more than anything else I was relieved!  I didn't have to worry about how to sort and eliminate all this STUFF.  I've been pretty good about keeping the new place tidy, but I find myself cluttering and I am scared it's creeping up on me.  I'm getting some better about cleaning things out and having times when I can de-clutter -- I find it helps to have someone hold me accountable and "help" me.  Even if they are just holding the trash sack or keeping me company while I do the purging, it helps me.  I also get very, very anxious doing the purging though.  If I do very much in one day, I'll have an anxiety attack.  I'm antidepressants and I can't really see a difference in my hoarding before or after taking them.  I've never been diagnosed with OCD but can see how some might think that is what it is for some.  I know that I do feel an attachment to stuff.  "Gotta keep this.  Gotta keep that."  Pretty soon, there's just more crap than I know what to do with.  I don't want to slip back into having too much stuff.  Having a cleaning lady help me this last year has helped a lot.  But I'm still cluttering.  WHERE does this come from?  If I could take a pill and stop it I would!  I see a therapist and the therapist has never been able to adequately address the issue.  Insight into what makes it so, and how to attack it and what to read would be great!

Hi Everyone,  I saw the show today on Dr. Phil, and I know what the guests on the show are like.  I'm the same way.  Yes. I do have that thought that goes through my head that says; Save that, you might need it. (that need never comes).  Or I'll take care of that later. ( later never comes).   I also have a problem with the things that I do need, where do I put them?   It just gets so overwhelming that I get lost in the clutter and it's just easier to shut the door and go some where else.   I do have some good news.  I got married 2 years ago and yes the wife saw the mess (just like on T.V.).  We got a dumpster and threw every thing out.  But that doesn't mean I don't still have a problem.  She has to nag me to get me to do the things I need to do.   Finances, same thing that you saw on the show.  O.K. where do I get help, I know I have a problem but I don't know where to go. 

It looked to me as if the symptoms of ADHD were running all through the scenario, especially when Dr. Phil read the list of the wife, "Why I Hate You". All symptoms of ADHD that I've seen and heard of seemed to be there. Why didn't Dr. Phil suggest this as a possible problem that can be worked with? Might help his children and wife (and even the gentleman) understand a little more about what he's doing and why.

I had a problem with saving things. but not to the extent of these people. I never learned how to clean . I finally got the step by step help by joining  the group  

  

 www.flylady.net 

  

  I have learned so much and never felt overwhelmed with her work in progerss. you and not behind jump in where you are and begin ... 

  

  I hope that others can find help and a relief from all the clutter..... 

  

    I am now working on my "body clutter " 

  

              My prayers are going out there for all who are struggling with this ... 

  

                         GOD BLESS 

  

                                     tricia 

  

ps it doesn't hurt to throw things out ...you save them and before you know it you find it and wonder what  you were saving it ..but afraid to throw it away cause you know it was important to you once..... 

  "i you don't love it , throw it out "!!!! 

I am a hoarder of grand preportion.  I live alone in a three bedroom home. there is a trail from front door through the house. I cannot use any bdroom because of all the stuff. I live in fear that someone will come over. I limit my association with people because I am afraid they will find out. I am ashamed about my way of life. It gets overwhelming and I feel helpless to do anything about it. It paralizes me. I live in fear that people will see. My own family does not know how bad it is, they have not been to my home since 1999.  

i know I needto do something but don't know where to begin. I have been this way since childood 

I will watch this board for more solutions, advice,etc.  I too would be interested in info concernning OCD, ADD & Depression. That would be a good start on my problems.  Pepden

I watched this show with great interest as my father-in-law is quite the hoarder!  It's so bad that he's had to rent a storage facility for all his newspaper and magazine articles (fire hazard in the house) and his basement is full of VCR tapes.  You see, he tapes 24/7, practically everything that has ever been on TV, including Big Bird Goes to Japan.  These VCR tapes are apparently my husband's inheritance - yippee skippee!!  We tease him unmercifully about this but he just doesn't seem to get it! 

  

Stay tuned for a HUGE yard sale of these tapes when he passes away (oh - he perfers died; and yet another idiosyncracy - he's already turned in his obituarary to a local funeral home!) 

Hi Dr. Phil, 

  

I have written to you twice in the past about my mom's severe hoarding and it's devastating effects on our family's relationships.  She always seemingly talks about getting "help" but never goes.  She always is perpetually late too - and has been let go of numerous doctor's parctices for not being able to keep her appointments or showing up hours late.  I think she suffers from some kind of chronic depression and in addition to her hoarding and lateness she seems to lock herself away in the bathroom for hours.  She avoids almost all contact with us even though she swears we are the center of her world.  She holds onto all these personal belongs because of sentimental value, but she can't even hold a conversation with us.  You mentioned on the show that there would be links to sites for local help for hoarding - but I can't find them!  Where can we seek professional help for our dissintegrating family before it's too late?  If you are considering a follow up show or want to do an intensive show to help a family we would really greatly appreciate it as my parents have no insurance and almost no income.   

  

Thank you for any assistance you can give, 

Denise 

I want to share something that has already changed the way I deal with my messy and cluttered house. It is www.flylady.com, and it is completely FREE! I think that Dr. Phil should feature FlyLady and her methods on his show. She has helped so many people remove the clutter and have a peaceful home.  

  

Sincerely, 

Flybaby from California 

We live in the mountains and are about 3 hours from a good hardware store.  So this whole town is a hoarder's delight.  It's kind of the norm up here.  Where most books on decluttering say toss it after a year of non use.  Most of the "locals" look at it as another wasted town trip because you dont have a back up for the back up.  We are lucky if it gets tossed after a DECADE.   

  

Any advise out there for a wife who is going through a declutter mode and am running out of my own boxes to go through - and would love nothing more than to start on her husband's MUCH larger stash?