Message Boards

Home

Message Boards

Topic : 06/26 Twisted Love

Number of Replies: 2039

New Messages This Week: 0

Last Reply On:

Created on : Friday, January 27, 2006, 02:41:03 pm

Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 02/02/06) Charles says he has exhausted his relationship with his wife of 19 years, and he's ready to try an alternative lifestyle. Instead of getting a divorce, Charles wants to explore polyfidelity -- a relationship where he is shared between his wife and his mistress. The mistress says she'll give it a try, but his wife, Tracy, says the thought makes her sick. Can Charles convince his wife to share him for the sake of their marriage? And what does Dr. Phil think? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

More June 2006 Show Boards.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

( Subscribe to this Topic )

amber320

User Mood
Happy

Message Emote

June 26, 2006, 8:54 pm PDT

06/26 Twisted Love

my question is how much is too much?Are you suppose to stay and try to make a relationship work that is over?I believe you should try everything to make your marriage work but if it doesn't or someone falls out of love it should feel ok to move on.What it worse staying in a loveless marriage or letting go and giving everyone a chance for love?I wouldn't want to be with someone who nolonger loved me.Charles didn't handled it right could of treated his wife better when it came to dealing with it but you can't hate him for falling inlove with someone elese.If him and Tracy can make it work then I wish all the best!If he is not in love anymore then he is doing more harm by staying it doesn't help the kids either.I know with my parents it was better they split for everyone.Everyone is looking at how they have been hurt instead of stepping back and looking at the whole thing.

Read Replies to this Message

fredlyny

Message Emote

June 26, 2006, 9:06 pm PDT

Selfish-Selfish-Selfish

At the end of my fifth grade school year, I went to live with my dad, his wife, ex-wife and my brothers and sisters. But, I can remember that lifestyle as far back as Kindergarten. Charles you are DEAD WRONG!! This lifestyle doesn't only happen in other countries, it happens right here in the USA. What makes him think we are so different, he lives in the USA and he wants to live with two women under one roof. I can remember being scared, embarrassed and sad all of the time. This lifestyle Charles wants to introduce his boys to is unfair and very selfish. As a teen I couldn't have friends over because of the living situation. However, I do remember on one occassion a girlfriend from school who lived right up the road was walking past my house, stopped to say hello as my dad pulled into the driveway from work. My step-mom and the other woman walked out, followed by my brothers and sisters and we all said, "Hi daddy." My girlfriend looked at me, I gave her a look of please don't ask me any questions and she didn't. The next day at school, she had a hundred questions. It was very embarrassing trying to explain our living arrangements to her and of course she didn't understand it, but neither did I. Charles is only thinking of himself. I don't know of any two women who can live in the same house with one man and never feel any resentment, hurt or jealousy towards the other two. There was a lot of jealousy, arguments, physical abuse, screaming and hollering in our house, it was a nightmare. Nothing good, except for his sexual satisfaction, can come from the lifestyle he wants his family to accept! Tracy deserves better, a true committment, loyalty, respect, love and happiness. My step-mother never remarried or even dated after my dad moved out to be with wife number 4. She deserved to have someone love her, respect her and treat her with dignity. Tracy, please don't make that mistake.

Read Replies to this Message

tjresp

Message Emote

June 26, 2006, 9:08 pm PDT

addiction

my spouse is addicted and I thought he was okay, but now things are falling apart again- HE needs help - and I am falling apart

Read Replies to this Message

guojian53

User Mood
Happy

Message Emote

June 26, 2006, 9:09 pm PDT

Preach it!

Quote From: npettifer

This guy is so in love with himself that he has no room for anyone else. He doesn't know the meaning of the word "love". In a way I feel sorry for him because he is so superficial that he can't experience the true feelings of caring for someone and therefore he finds his life boring. He is getting out of his marriage what he puts into his marriage, which as far as I can see is nothing. Then he blames it on his wife that he has to look for fulfillment somewhere else. He won't find what he's looking for there either because he still only thinks of himself. My advice to his wife would be to leave him and find someone who gives her the respect and the love that she deserves. No one should have to put up with a guy like him. I hope he views himself on tape because it will show him how shallow he is.

If you are referring to Charles, the alpha male, then you are speaking truth.

Like her, I am partnered with a man who is afflicted with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Narcissists exist only for themselves, everyone else is far less important than the narcissist's personal needs.

My partner swings on the side for kicks. I think that he believes that he is soooo kewl. I am not too sure that he really cares about my feelings or needs. I see evidence that he is a sex addict.

I am hurt, and I am contemplating ending things. I want to go through couples' counseling, but he has resisted all my attempts previously to get him on the couch.

Unfortunately, I am moving with him to another state, and am dependent upon him. I figure I will keep my antennae out and see what he does over the next year. After that, I may be moving back home, and I can resume my life.

Read Replies to this Message

Dean17

User Mood
Angry

Message Emote

June 26, 2006, 9:16 pm PDT

He's not alone

My husband of 13 years has just told me he's been having an affair for the last 6 months behind my back. He seems to think that I should just sit back and "take it" because he no longer sees me as a wife but more of a friend. What is is with males that they think they can treat women like this? I can't get rid of mine, he won't leave the house and yet he is off having "dates" with the other women. The only way is to take out a AVO (apprehensive violence order) and then it could turn really nasty and I don't want it to have a detrimental affect on our 4 year old son. The "other women" has even rung the house and can't understand why I'm so upset! My husband wants to live the same way but doesn't necessarily want to commit to the other women either. I wish he would get out and let me move on.

It's a shame males only have brains in one place......

Read Replies to this Message

guojian53

User Mood
Happy

Message Emote
hopeful

June 26, 2006, 9:16 pm PDT

Be Strong

Quote From: tracyl60

I would love to talk to you. I am the woman on the show Thrusday. I am new to the message boards, is there a way to send a private message so I can give you my contact information?

Tracy, if you are married to Charles, be strong. I know it is tough for women to lay hold of their power, because society has trained them to be submissive. I ask you to get a strong hold on the strength that let you raise those great kids. Charles is vain and narcissistic. He may change and improve, but the odds are not in favor of his improving. Narcissists tend to hold pretty tightly to their personality disorder traits.

Blessings and good fortune to you.

Richard

Read Replies to this Message

zcntrygal

User Mood
Stressed

Message Emote

June 26, 2006, 9:18 pm PDT

How ironic.......

When I first caught this episode earlier this year I wanted to mangle the guy and shake some sense into the wife.

Now guess what..yup...2 weeks ago right before my 19th wedding anniversary hubby says he has a mistress, he plans to keep her and wants to keep me as well. I couldn't believe it!!!! And today I noticed that this episode repeated..I recorded it to watch it again because I know I will be watching it from a different place this time. Strange how life changes so quickly. Yes he is still living with me. Now before you all attack me I would divorce him in a heartbeat but I found out how much lawyers want up front!!! OMG! We do have 4 kids and I do have health issues of my own. So for now I am stuck. But there isn't anymore fighting. I am beyond caring what he does anymore. I am just moving forward and trying to protect myself and my kids. And slowly saving money so I can get a lawyer and get his buns out of my house.

Read Replies to this Message

wheatwidow

User Mood
Good

Message Emote

June 26, 2006, 9:43 pm PDT

06/26 Twisted Love

I was in this woman's position a few years ago except my husband wouldn't even try to salvage our marriage. Oh, he said all the 'right' words but he said it best when I asked him to at least work at our relationship a bit and he replied, "If I have to WORK at a relationship, it's no good anyway! Love should be all that's needed." Now this from a nearly 50 yr. old man who'd been married to me for 23 years and fathered 2 daughters yet he still believed in fairytales?! I was devastated when he told me he didn't love me anymore since I was too fat, boring and old for him and he DESERVED better. He reminded me so much of this man on the show - arrogant and totally selfish and so certain whatever made HIM happy was worth any pain caused to anyone else. He also had been a successful man, respected by the community, and despite his claims to the contrary, adored by his wife and daughters but apparently that wasn't enough for him anymore. I guess what goes around, comes around, and the 2 women half his age he's now involved with will maybe give him what he deserves.

I haven't seen the follow-up to this show so don't really know how it is going now, but I think the wife would find it very, very hard to ever really get past all the heartache this man has caused her and her children. Whatever she does, I hope she and the kids come out the other side of this happy with the choices made.

Read Replies to this Message

npettifer

User Mood
Happy

Message Emote
quiet

June 26, 2006, 10:08 pm PDT

You deserve better... resume your life

Quote From: guojian53

If you are referring to Charles, the alpha male, then you are speaking truth.

Like her, I am partnered with a man who is afflicted with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Narcissists exist only for themselves, everyone else is far less important than the narcissist's personal needs.

My partner swings on the side for kicks. I think that he believes that he is soooo kewl. I am not too sure that he really cares about my feelings or needs. I see evidence that he is a sex addict.

I am hurt, and I am contemplating ending things. I want to go through couples' counseling, but he has resisted all my attempts previously to get him on the couch.

Unfortunately, I am moving with him to another state, and am dependent upon him. I figure I will keep my antennae out and see what he does over the next year. After that, I may be moving back home, and I can resume my life.

I can understand that it is difficult to cut the ties because you don't know what is ahead for you. But think of it this way..... all the time you are wasting with him prevents someone coming into your life that will truly give you the love and the respect that you deserve. Believe me life existed before you met him and life will exist after as well. Its like a disease, if you don't stop it before it spreads it will consume you. It will be hard at first but afterwards you will wonder why you put up with this type of behaviour for so long. You only live once and you have a right to be treated with love and respect. There will be someone worthy of you in the future....... I promise

Read Replies to this Message

geminastra

Message Emote
angry

June 26, 2006, 10:15 pm PDT

PS.

PS. LEAVE HIM!!!!!!! Narcissistic sociopaths (internet definition of them: assholes) never change, never care. I waited too long in the hope that mine would. "SHOW HIM THE DOOR AND HOPE IT DOESN'T HIT HIM ON HIS WAY THROUGH!

Read Replies to this Message

First | Prev | 187 | 188 | 189 | 190 | 191 | 192 | 193 | 194 | 195 | 196 | Next | Last

Recent Shows: Behind the Headlines | "Bring Me Back My Hot, Se... | Teen Mama Drama | Majoring in Failure? | A Father Accused: Who's T...