Topic : 06/26 Twisted Love

i think she should kick him to the curb always a cheater.

I am pretty sure that Dr. phil said that he wouldn't support her if she started dateing someone else..  what a cocky jackass.  she should defiantley leave him as soon as the shows over and same with the other woman.  that would take him down a notch or two. 

I  sure do wish that your wife would groow a backbone, she would be better off without YOU...You won't ever change next time you will probably just hide it from her because you know now how she feels about it.....

I didn't think there was another one like my ex-husband, but this man is a carbon copy.  He could not understand why I didn't want to be best friends with his girlfriend because we were so much alike.  He just knew I would love her as much as he did....our kids could then be friends and that would help us all with carpooling, etc.  I have now gone through 8 years of therapy, raised our 2 daughters, enjoy our grandchildren, and live a wonderful life supporting myself financially and emotionally.  He, on the other hand, needed NO help with his life.  He has had NO communication with this children in 15 years and has never seen his 4 grandchildren.  By the way...the girlfriend left him within one year after he got his divorce. 

It's really sad that you think people can't change. Someday you might make a huge mistake and you'll be thankful that there are people who have faith in you and your ability to recover.

If she was to leave him and get another man she would find out that Charles is a TOTALLY loser and then she would see what a REAL man could do for her....

This Charlie guy is too much! I thought that Dr. Phil would be harder on him but to no avail. I wonder what makes men think they can treat women any way they choose and I hate seeing the women just take it. I thought that we as women gave ourselves more worth than that. I wouldn't tollerate that mess of a "man" for a minute!!!! Get out girlfriend!!!

I totally agree with you....

 I first ex was as arrogant and high and mighty as Charles.  He loved 'go=go dancers' dancing prostitutes, as some called them in Calif. then.  When we moved to Virginia he was arrested with in a week for solicting a prostitute at a local truck stop.  He told me later that he didn't think he was going to make it home before I woke up!  It started almost from day one.  Every time  I would try to leave my Mom or someone that knew I was going to leave would call him at work and tell him and he would come home or find me before I could get away.  He wouldn't stop.  My mother said you have to put up with everything because he is the husband and can do whatever he wants.  He had three illigitamate children that he claimed and one he didn't claim.  He left three times and then come back using the children or someone in his family to weil his way back in.  I would go into another room and cry.  I finished high school before marrying, but since I never worked outside the marrriage, I had a hard time finding a job making enough money to make it on my own with two kids.  I knew by then I would have to be the one to leave.  If I got money he would steal it saying he nedded it mor than I did.  Talking did no good.  His last mistress would come over and get in my face and told me " Away with you and the kids stay here I'll be their Mom" .  I said "Over my dead body!"  You can have him, but I get the kids.  She had four of her own.  The last one was illigimate!  He told me after 17 years that he was taking her and her kids on vacation because me and the kids didn't deserve a vacation.  I got worried as vacation time neared that he would take our kids at night and meet her and they would leave to where I would never find them. I had a part-time job sitting third shift for an elderly lady.  I talked with a lawyer who said to save up money then leave.  I had tried to do that as stated above.  That night after talking to the lawyer I called several people to see if I could stay with them a few days till I got things worked out to go on my own.  A sister-in-law, his brother's wife told me to call DOVES.  An agency for abused women.  She said they will help you.  I knew by the sound of her voice that she knew what she was talking about.  I called.  They sent a cab in the direction I said I would be walking and to tell him I was going to see one of my friends.  My 13 year old daughter said  she wanted to stay with Dad.  She was always a Daddy's girl.  My 8 year old son left with me.  All I had was an empty purse except for a driver's liscense.  The cab took us to a motel in the back and left us.  The motel  woman gave me a key.  Then the DOVES lady came and left me $3.00 for breakfast and said we would talk the next morning.  The next morning as I walked to a nearby convient restruant I didn't know what I was going to do but I knew this woman would help me and I had my son by the hand all I knew for sure was I wasn't going back.  It got rough with him chasing me and such but I made it.  I had to go from sad to mad and finally get the help I needed to leave.  He was as arrogant as this Charles.  I called it Male Chuavinist Pig.  Course this was in 1982 so $3.00 for breakfast in a convience restraunt was a good amount.  He found out he had lung cancer and had about a year to live two weeks before our divorce was final!!!  Him and the other woman, this one wasn't a go-go dancer but hid behind religon, married a week after the divorce.  He lived one year and 5 months then died.  God really took care of that one!  I had to leave first.  After four months of her step-mother not wanting her to stay in Band in school cause of a shortage of money with her Dad out of work for awhile then part time, she came to live with me.  She said I always knew I could count on you.  That made up for 16 months of her living with her Dad.  I gained 10 punds the first month after I left.  I needed it and my self esteem of making it on my own was so great.  I didn't know, at the time, that verbal and sexual abuse was abuse.  My Mother finally came over to my side.  I hope this woman realizes like Dr. Phil told her she had to get to a different level.  She will feel so much better.  He won't quit seeing this other woman and if he does there will be another and another.  It's written all over his face just as it was on my ex's.

I really hope that you and Tracy are doing well.  However, I don't feel that four plus months of counseling is really enough for all the damage done to your marriage and more than anything the loss of trust to the relationship.   

  

I think at this point the update I'll wait for is the one from Tracy.   

  

As a woman, I learned to cope, I learned to deal with, and I learned to forgive.  However, even with all the counseling I have yet to learn how to forget.