Topic : 06/26 Twisted Love

I played the game of affairs with my husband three times in our relationship. Dr. Phil is so RIGHT, the ego of these men and the lack of thinking of the other people in their lives always is prodominant.  The want to believe that they are honorable by trying to hold on to the wife but the truth is that they are afraid of only WHAT THEY will face if they leave.  I stayed in denial and kept trying to win my husband back, only to find out the what I got back each time was a man who still did not honor me, the kids, or the marriage. I finally kicked him out, the clouds of denial cleared and now I see this man doing the same thing to all the women in his life. It was not easy, I still suffer with some "what if's" but each day is better than when I faced the pain of not being valued in the marriage. Make him grow up and face whatever the truth about how he fills is; make him responsible for his choice and in turn responsible to whatever you decide you need whether he stays or goes. He owes you and the kids even if he walks away. Make it clean. Your kids need to know this is not the way to run a marriage. It is time for you to find out what kind of marriage you want and get out if this marriage is not going to be what you need. He left a long time ago. Even if he comes home, you will always wonder if another woman could enter again. Because he takes care of his needs regardless of your needs or the families needs he will have to change his basic concept of fidelity and marriage committment. You are a beautiful woman, don't let him make you feel less of yourself than you should.  

What alot of you are not realizing, is Charles got over.  He was able to have his cake and eat it too for a very long time.  In his opinion he felt that as long as his wife knew what he was up to it was ok.  Full disclosure in his mind automatically granted him absolution. 

I am not saying what he was doing is right, but what I am saying it was wrong for his wife to continue to allow it to happen for as long as it did. 

You and only you can make yourself a victim over and over.  She should have kicked his cheating butt out the moment she found out what he was up to. 

just my two cents worth. 

I think Charles is arrogant and very, very selftish.  Tracy needs to get a backbone, divorce Charles and get on with her life.  The problem is I don't think Tracy even knows who she is or what she really wants.  

I just read your message. I have MS, my husband was cheating on me and still living with me. He was also seeing other women besides one special one. She did not know, suspected, but he lied to her as he lied to me. I have so much trouble with the women on the other side of this. I know the men lie about the situation as Charles did to some degree. But why do women want to get in the middle, most of them suspect infidelity, if they are unfaithful no matter what the reason, doesn't stand to reason that they could be unfaithful to the new woman.   My husband has played this game long before my MS, used my MS as an excuse, if he wanted out, he should have gotten out before he destroyed my life and my childrens lives. I had to be the hero, end the marriage, but he is still seeing, sleeping with many women and he tells me they have no idea what is going on. I am telling you it's a personality trait, he has done this to 2 wifes, and many, many women. Good luck, if you are smart you will end it. The probability that he will cheat on you is 100%  

I hate this guy. 

I HATE this man. 

I HATE THE PERSON! 

I HATE this person so much I cannot even articulate it!! 

(I hate that man so much....)