this is to be the most beautiful day of your lives. How do you want to remember it? When you look back, you don't want regrets do you? You want to remember the most wonderful event in your life to be your greatest accomplishment. It is a great accomplishment. To give yourself to another, to have and to hold, until death do you part, for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and health. And believe me all those things happen in life. I have been married 24 years Jan. 18th, 2006 to my second husband. The first one didn't last but 2years. I knew when I was walking down the isle then that I shouldn't be doing this but went anyway. I was afraid not to, with all the arrangements made I thought my parents would be mad. At first they didn't approve of him, but as always I bucked against them and decided to marry him. As a child growing up and in school, I can remember I wanted to get married and have six children to someone who would love me and take care of me. Well there is more to marriage than those simple words. The best and only good thing that happened in the first marriage was my daughter, Michelle. After I divorced in 1980, I continued to date one fella after another. It wasn't until I dated a trucker, went on a trip with him from Iowa to New York State, Manhatten Island, and back to Iowa. After that I didn't hear or see him for two weeks. He finally called me up. I asked him where had he been, and he told me he had been in jail. whoa Mamma! What was I doing? Endangering my daughter (she wasn't with us on the trip), and myself with someone I didn't even know. Needless to say I said good-bye. I began a transformation. I put on paper what I wanted in a husband, lover, and friend. I set my values of what I could live with and what I couldn't. I did go out with my girlfriends cousin and it has been love every since. We were married by the Justice of the Peace, as I was a divorced Methodist, and he came from a strict Catholic family. His parents sent us to a priest after I told them I was pregnant(we were planning on getting married anyhow, it just happened to be sooner than we thought). The Priest told him not to marry me, I was not the marrying kind of girl he should marry, but he should support the baby. I was ready to run away, but Steve decided to marry me anyhow so we did. Another Priest told us to get married by the Justice of the Peace and work on an annulment with my first husband. It is just a proceedure you go through to get your marriage blessed by the church. I had to write my life story to get it annuled. And I did it not only for my husband but it was good for myself. It is good to look back on one's life and accomplishments and wrong doings. It hasn't always been rosey, but we have always been in love since, now going on 25years. We haven't always liked each other but always loved each other. Oh the bumps on the road along the way. We have endured financial dis-pare, losing close friends, and parents to death. Survived through inheritance problems with family members, moving, tornadoes, four children, graduations, 4H, girl scouts, weddings, suicidal ideation, hospitalizations, farming. Everything imaginable. But we have made it through all of it. I could never had done it without my spouse. He is not perfect by any means. And neither am I. But together we have overcome many obstacles. A good marriage has to be worked at everyday. It isn't happily everafter. It always has obstacles to overcome, work through, take care of, and some things just can't be solved, and you have to just let it go. My parents did the best they could do with what they knew. And I did the best I could with my knowledge. And hopefully my children will learn from my mistakes and do the best they know how. You can't place blame on anyone from the past. As adults we have to be responsible for our own mistakes, own them, and change them. I still am working on my husband getting him to be more romantic, but that's just him. I kidnapped him on our 5th wedding aniversary. Boy was he surprized. I told him he had to help my sister pick up a safe at a motel she got her husband. I couldn't go she needed someone strong. And I told him to be sure to change his clothes before going as he worked with hogs at that time. I had a card waiting for him at the motel, it was an aniversary card. It said go to room xxx and find your reward. He read it and asked the attendant where was the room at. I was waiting for him to open the door. I was dressed in a teddy outfitted from head to toe laying on the bed just waiting for him to open the door. He opened the door, and yelled, What in the Hell is going on! It echoed throughout the motel. I told him to come in and shut the door. I said you have just been kidnapped and we are spending the night in a motel and eatting out, go dancing and such. He wouldn't believe me, even when I told him everyone knew what was going on. He thought he couldn't be away from the farm or everything would go to hell. I informed him that I have everything taken care of. The chores were taken care of, the kids were taken care of, so relax. It was a good thing I brought along a change of clothes because he didn't change at home, so he had stinky clothes on. He had to call home to make sure I was telling the truth. It worked out ok, and we will never forget it. I am still waiting for him to kidnapp me, somehow I dought that will happen. He always asks me to plan everything. If he wants to he could plan a get a way. Maybe Dr. Phil could work on him for me.
lifefirst
(Original Air Date: 02/06/06) Dr. Phil talks to brides-to-be who are so out of control, their loved ones call them Bridezillas! They're a new breed of engaged women who terrorize their fiancés, bridal parties and family members with their outrageous demands. For Rachel and her mother, Jeanne, the planning of Rachel's wedding has turned into an utter nightmare. Rachel wants only the best for her special day, while Jeanne wants her to stick to the budget. Will mother and daughter be able to compromise? Then, Marsha and Archie just tied the knot, but are Marsha's controlling ways already ruining the marriage? Her sister-in-law, Lisa, thinks so, and says she watched Marsha go from sweet to satanic as she got closer to the big day! Dr. Phil has advice on avoiding wedding disasters that every bride needs to know. Join the discussion.
