Topic : 06/15 Bad Brides

My husband and I have been married for more than 3 years now.  I constantly question my husbands commitment and love for me.  I know that this is because we didn't have a wedding or even an engagement.   

We had been together for more than 2 years when I got pregnant by accident.  Through out my entire pregnancy he question whether the baby was his or not and told me through most of it that he would never marry me.  Then, as we got closer to the baby coming, he settled down.  At 8 months pregnant he tells me that if I really want to get married then he was willing to go get a marriage licence for my birthday present.  He never even proposed!  Then a month later, and 3 days before I was scheduled to give birth he says that if we are going to get married then we better do it.  We went to the court house on his lunch break and got married and went on with our day.  We called friends and family that night and told everyone, including my other 2 children, that we had gotten married earlier that day.  We didn't even have a special dinner.  There were no special words of love and devotion, no honeymoon, no church, no ceremony, nothing.  

It has been more than 3 years now.  Should I be over this feeling of being of no value to my husband by now?  We are married and that's all that matters, right?  So why do I feel like I have no importance in my husbands life.  We have a great family together and a seemingly great life together but I just can't let this feeling go.  Any advice?? 

Today's show was very annoying!! I'm really glad that Dr. Phil had this show, though, because there are so many people who do this- focus so much time and energy on the wedding and not enough time and energy on their relationships. 

Did the second bride say that the wedding ended up costing $76,000?? What a waste. 

It makes me wonder why she is so insecure with herself that she feels she needs to "prove" her worth to people by having a VIP reception, and then she needs to prove to other people how unworthy they are so they get to go to the trailer trash reception. I've never heard of someone doing that! I've heard of people having 2 receptions for other reasons.. but her reason was because there are people who are professionals and they get the VIP reception, and then there are people who are going to sit there and say how they could have made the wedding better (?) so they get the trailer trash reception. Why even invite people who are going to analyze your wedding and reception at all? Its all so wastefull and excessive.  

I hope that the second bride sees herself on today's show and wakes up- because I saw exactly what Dr. Phil called her, "beautifull bride, ugly spirit." She seemed smart, she was beautifull, obviously she's got a ton of money coming from somewhere.... she appears to have it all except self esteem. What other reason would someone treat the people who love her like servants? 

I'm getting married in 12 days. My partents are paying for all of the wedding....but mine is only costing $5000!! I belive that if your parents are paying for it they do have SOME say in what goes on.  I can't believe the frist bride paided 1400 for a cake. it is just unreal....I truly do understand that weddings are expensive....get set a budget and stick to it ! its not that hard! 

These brides have totally lost their way.  I felt angered by their selfishness, but then felt sorry for them and their future husbands.  What kind of a future will they have with their selfish attitudes?  My future husband landed a job in Canada and we planned a wedding and got married within 6 weeks.  I didn't really have my dream dress, my flowers didn't turn out how I wanted, the hotel screwed up the sherry reception ... but you know what, it DID NOT MATTER because I was with all the people I loved, and I was marrying the man I loved, our lovely friends and relatives were relaxed and thoroughly enjoyed the day ... SO IT WAS PERFECT!  Isn't it the relationships that are important, not the things?  These are the women who will spend thousands on a "perfect wedding" , but everyone else will just remember the angst, and they will be divorced within a few short years.... very sad to see. 

I have the same problem as you.. But my future mother-in-law is making party favors with out asking my fiance' or I  if we want them...and they are UGLY!! but she feels so left out. It is hard to includer her becuase she is a very cold person and lives in a town about 100 miles away.   

I would sit down and talk with her.. and if she doesn't want to talk to you...send her an e-mail or a letter and explaine to her that this is what u want.. 

Oh my god - Rachel is such an absolutely, unbelievable spoiled rotten BRAT! 

She can't be serious thinking that it's all about her! Marriage is all about you as a couple. It's all about how you relate to your future husband, his family, and your family. This one, stinkin' day means nothing other than a gateway in which to head towards your future. 

If she's going to behave like this for something as stupid as a one-day ceremony, I would be running for the hills if I was her fiancee. This is a great indication to him about what a brat she's likely going to be if she doesn't get her way later on in the marriage. Not only will this affect their relationship, but their relationships with their families will suffer as well. Don't think it won't. 

This whole "princess" idea about if the wedding is perfect, so will the marriage. That's baloney and if you're entering into this union with that shallow, childish viewpoint, you should never be married until you grow up, girlfriend. 

I went beyond shock to sorrow for the two women on today's show. "Things" are more important than  people. Weddings are blessed events that include the bride & the groom and to hear that the groom(s) don't matter is very sad.  

There is NO text book or written scripture ANYWHERE that says the wedding day is all about the bride! The self-importance goes beyond my comprehension. A wedding day is not about how big, how large, how arrogant you want to be... but, a celebration with friends and family of the love you're choosing to honor.  

What went so wrong?  

My heart goes out to those in the families and their friends that were surrounded by ANYTHING OTHER than love and enchanted memories of a beautiful union.  

It's not about the THINGS... it's about the feeling... and when you think that the day is all about you, the meaning and the message are lost. A wedding is not a license to be the biggest bit*h or meanest woman alive.  

I was horrified watching them... I wonder what they thought of themselves, honestly, when reviewing their show segments?  

So sad... because I have been to elegant and simple weddings that took my breath away that had nothing to do with thousands of dollars being spent. These weddings were about celebrating LOVE! And, everyone had such a good time... and we have fond, fond memories.  

My hopes are that these women have long lasting marriages and get in touch with what is important in life, their spouses and marriages and not the external stuff.