Topic : 06/15 Bad Brides

If a "bad history" involves adultry, divorce, drug use, alcholism, selfishness and immaturity (i.e. going out with the guys often), than WHY ON EARTH would you even CONSIDER him for a lifelong mate?  

  

We women need to smarten up QUICKLY. Don't we love ourselves enough to demand more from others? Are we that frightened to be alone that we'll "settle" for less than we know we deserve? 

  

If your guy wants nothing to do with the plans, there's probably a good reason for it. He'll probably not want much to do with you once you're married either. I'd study his history WELL and then ask myself why I would even consider marrying him?  

  

With a near 60% divorce rate along with your misgivings about him even before your marriage, you would be a fool to marry this man. Stay friends for a LONG time. If he survives the LONG courtship, than reconsider him.  

  

By the way, HE's not "talking about getting married" if he doesn't want any say in the plans. YOU are talking about getting married. That should be a red flag to you. Please wake up before you become a divorce statistic. God bless you in doing what you know (deep down) is best for you!  

I'm not as concerned about the Bridezilla as I am about the presence of this attitude throughout our culture today. I have experienced this attitude in my workplace, a school, for several years. It  is shown from teacher to teacher and to students plus to parents. It is appalling in a workplace or home. No one is better than anyone in this country......believe it or not. This arrogance and disgustingly rude attitude needs to stop. I had it from my daughter as soon as she left for collage. After dealing with it for many years, I just gave up and now we only talk on the phone occasionally. Plus I don't have good contact with my grandsons. I wasn't going to fight her. I hope one day she'll step off her pedestal for a brief moment and look about her. She'll discover we all deserve respect. If you want it, you have to give it. 

Bravo on your successes...and they are YOUR successes since you helped raise all three of your girls.  

 

Parents shouldn't be footing 100% of the bill for ADULT CHILDREN. Parents can give gifts to their children for their weddings, but no "gift" should be given to unappreciative brats.  

  

Marriage is about love and about committment before God. It's supposed to last a lifetime and it takes work. NO person will stay married to selfish brats. The novelty of the marriage will wear thin within the first two years. Then the mothers can have their selfish, spoiled, bratting daughters back in their homes where they raised them (and raised them poorly). 

  

I've been married 16+ years and have a lovely family. I was given $2000 of my parents hard-earned money when I married (at age 26). I truly appreciated it and I spent it wisely. I wouldn't have taken more from them even if they had had it; NO WEDDING should cost an arm and a leg. Would Jesus want us wasting all that money on a SHOW???? We need to start (as a society) realizing what is important in life...and it ain't STUFF. 

  

Hopefully more mothers like yourself will understand what is important in life and raise healthy, happy, KIND-HEARTED children. Bless you for your accomplishments and for the accomplisments of yet another generation of nice women.  

  

The best "gift" mothers (and fathers) can give their daughters is to raise them to be compassionate, bright, talented, giving, respectful women who appreciate everything and know how to have some self-respect.  

Doctor Phil. Bad Brides are no good at al although peoples sur sometime get marry and have kids- 

right after they get marry.  See you tomorrow Afternoon. Well Ihad better close now. Sincerley Your.-- 

Russell

And the Groom should be apart of planning the wedding. Mine was and it was wonderful, not muchmoney because we used common sense. I twas pretty and fullfilling and we are happy and fullfilled to this day, over 13 years later. As I posted earlier, if theparetns are paying,t ehy have the right to set a budget as they know how much they can afford, the bride can still have the say so but needs to respect and appreciate the parents, and if she wants more then SHE needs to at least pay the difference, She might as well grow up during the planning of her wedding cause once she is married, she is on her own, at least she should be right along with her husband.....................

 I'm not sure if this is as much about weddings as it is about women with Narcissistic Personality Disorder...

Dear Dr. Phil,  I really enjoy your show most of the time.  I especially enjoy the look on your face a second or two before you respond to some of your guests.  About today's show:  I feel so sorry for Archie and most people could only dream of having a sister-in-law as sweet as Lisa.  Archie's wife blamed the stress of planning the wedding for her behavior and wore her "perfectionist" excuse like a badge of honor.  She is rude, self-centered and self-absorbed.  I do not agree that the wedding day is all about the bride - without Archie, and it is HIS day as well, there would be no wedding.  He had sadness in his eyes at the end of your show.  I am sad for him.  He obviously sees something in his wife that was not apparent to the public today.  God Bless him for that. There was no spirituality from the bride, no reverence or respect for what the day represented.  No appreciation for all the help she had ($76,000 for this wedding was absurd) and no regrets for her behavior.  Life turns on a dime and when things get tough for this couple, the bride will never take responsibility for any of it.  Unless Archie thrives on misery, this marriage is doomed.  If the bride had God in her life, she could have never treated Lisa the way she did.  God Bless them and best of luck - they will need it.

 Wedding Memories Include the Planning

I was at a Memorial Service for a doctor I worked with who was killed in a tragic car crash. She had had it all- she was beautiful, had a handsome successful husband, a little boy & a baby girl, a beautiful home & a happy marriage. She was a brilliant surgeon, loved by her patients as well as her staff.

One by one, people stood at the podium & tearfully shared a memory of her. Then a nurse stood up who worked with her during her residency, which was also when she got married. The nurse described in detail how the doctor had obsessed over her wedding plans some 6 yrs ago..how that's all she talked about, all her co-workers heard about & got sick of hearing about. "She obsessed over the flowers, she obsessed over the cake, the menu, the gown, the colors..."

Most everyone felt the nurse's speech was inappropriate. This was supposed to be a sharing of memories & to honor a wonderful person whose life ended all too soon. Looking back now, maybe the nurse was trying to convey the irony of all the wasted time & stress spent obsessing over her wedding day, only to run out of time so soon afterward.

Or maybe that's really all she remembered about her.

Too bad there is not an "emote icon" for someone vomiting because that's what watching this show made me want to do.  What really fascinates me, however, is:  

   

A) How ANYONE on earth would willing marry women with such self-centered personalities?   

   

B) How these women are so blind to their own flaws that they couldn't even see how despicable they would appear by airing their filthy "personality laundry."  And even after watching and re-watching the taped show, each of these women (the spoiled brat, her dingbat mother, and the entitled self-described "Perfectionist Queen" in the 2nd segment) will make excuses for their behavior, or blame Dr. Phil or his "editors" for depicting them badly.    

   

C) How interesting it is to watch these train wrecks of humanity.  If a writer created these "characters," he or she would be criticized for overly-exagerrating their selfishness and sense of entitlement.    

   

Descriptors for Rachel:  immature, self-centered, clueless, manipulative, narcissistic, self-indulgent, childish, idiotic, silly, whiny, infantile, crybaby, spoiled brat!  

   

Marsha's characteristics:  snobby, selfish, stuck-up, self-important, mean, narrow-minded, stingy, ungenerous, pompous, self-loving, tactless, rigid, thoughtless, uncharitable, ungracious, unkind, rude, vulgar!  

   

Why should either of you care?  That you don't is the ROOT OF YOUR WHOLE PROBLEM!!!     

   

If  either of you were remotely willing or able to see yourselves as others see you, you would GET OVER YOURSELVES AND BEHAVE PROPERLY!!!  

   

Weren't either of you ever taught values?  Kindness?  Consideration for others?  Humility?  MANNERS?     

I don't consider Rachel to be a "bridezilla".  I missed this one today but I've seen it before and didn't get a chance to comment.  I think Rachel might be a little immature and selfish but I think she has a right to on her special day. She has great taste (I agreed with her taste all the way) but needs to learn that paying more doesn't mean getting more. Go with what you like, don't just pick out the most expensive item or you will always be broke. Did you know that most millionaires purchase a Toyota Camry? (I'm not promoting Toyota, I like Honda's.) She needs to learn how to thrift shop and intermix the items so you spend less and get the same look, i.e. get your flowers from Wal-Mart instead of a bridal shop.    

I think her mother Jeanne was a little cruel in her attitude onstage but had a right to stick to the budget. Perhaps it would have been more helpful if she were less involved, and what was she thinking having her daughter carry a salad down the isle?