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Topic : 08/16 The Hunt for Amanda

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Created on : Friday, February 03, 2006, 04:17:21 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 02/07/06) Follow Dr. Phil inside an incredible family drama. Sixteen-year-old Amanda has been missing for over four months. Her parents, Paul and Linda, say she ran away with her boyfriend, George, and what they call his "Gypsy family." Dr. Phil puts his own investigator on the case in a hunt that stretches across 10 state lines. See Amanda’s tearful reunion with her mother, but then learn why their sweet moments together soon turn sour. Dr. Phil hears the teen's emotional confession about where she's been, and where she hopes to go next. Plus, the family erupts in a conflict so explosive, authorities have to be called to their hotel. What sets Amanda off? Dr. Phil puts some tough questions to George, and Amanda's family makes a heart-wrenching decision about their daughter's future. Can Amanda's life be set straight? Talk about the show here.

 

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hollyufpsy
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August 19, 2006, 8:41 am PDT

08/16 The Hunt for Amanda

Quote From: boylemic

I'm not sure where you got your law degree, but are seriously confused over what children's legal rights are.  First of all there is no law against not allowing your 16 year child to be on the phone with a creep like George whether in or outo f the shower.  As her parents they not only have the rigth but the RESPONSIBILITY to protect their child who is seriously misguided at this point.  And by the way Amanda's parents can choose to confiscate anything they choose.  She is a minor living in their home.  There was no battery so hope that clear it up for you!
I don't know what you are talking about. I never mentioned the legality of allowing a 16/17 yr old girl to call a guy "like george".  And actually, children do have rights- a lot of them. You can read the statutes yourself. The statutes define children's rights relatively clearly, though not as clearly as they should be defined! Basically, if she wanted to leave the state, then it is not kidnapping. If she was taken against her will, then it is kidnapping. As far as battery....I think you shoudl know what battery is. Yes, they can take her cell phone from her, but grabbing her and holding her is not the appropriate way to do it. A situation like that can, without a doubt, lead to violence and battery. THEY even admitted to that on the show. It is too easy for a situation like that to escalate into the girl hitting her parents or her parents hitting her. Parents have to do all they can to get that cell phone from her without resorting to physical altercations. That is just common sense. All I knwo is what I saw on the show, so these posts are my opinion based on the TV and based on what the law says.

And no, parents can't just walk in on a naked teenage daughter...lol...I don't know why anyone would see that as appropriate.
And again, the simple act of confiscating a cell phone is not battery, I think that is in an of itself very clear. However, getting physical is only asking for trouble.

Hope that clears it up!

Oh, and again, if she is a minor and can't have a cell phone, then I ask one question: Why can't her parents cut the cell phone off? If the parents don't want her to have the phone, then I suggest they call on the law enforcement to deal with it to prevent physical altercations.
 
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hollyufpsy
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August 19, 2006, 8:52 am PDT

08/16 The Hunt for Amanda

Quote From: meg_vt

This girl is out of control!!!! i also work with adolescents as a therapeutic case manager. I cannot tell you how many girls I have, about the same and far worse than this girl. They are out of their parents control. I tell the parents "DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO KEEP YOUR CHILD SAFE!" If that means calling the police, fine. If that means turning your house into Fort Knox, fine. If it means giving up some of your freedom so that your daughter can be supervised, fine. It is the parents responsibility, duty and the law to keep keep their  children safe. I know, I was an totally rotten tennage girl. I put  my parents through hell with the messes I used to get myself into. But, my parents DID NOT give up on me, nor did they make it easy. I can tell you that although a few years were rough, I have a wonderful life, married, mother, career, couldnt ask for more. Parents, take charge of the situation before your children end up regretting their youth for the rest of their lives.
I understand completely! Sometimes it seems as though children, particularly teenagers, have grown completely out of their parents control. So many families face so many issues when their children hit the teenage years and the families often don't have the resources to help them cope. It is pretty rare, from my observances, to find a family that has operated smoothly when a child hit the teenage years. Sadly, a lot of kids I knew had problems far before the teenage years! Some of them started getting into trouble at school and with the law at an early age. Early sexual activity these days is not uncommon. I agree that it is important to keep your child safe and that is primarily the parents responsibility.  It seems as though too many parents just give up when the a family problem hits its peak :(
 
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username280
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August 20, 2006, 3:43 pm PDT

08/16 The Hunt for Amanda

Quote From: purplepain

"Has your 17 year old SIL tried to run away yet?"

No, but she doesn't have a boyfriend and a family that would willingly usurp my MIL without any regard for fixing problems.

"Running away is a big deal."

Yes it is, but your line of logic makes it sound like no child has ever run away with out real cause, that is faulty thinking and not proven by any research, this is your own childlike opinion.

"I think a 16 year old would be able to comprehend her inability to support herself and her need for financial support from adults."

Maybe, maybe not. Like I said, the brain isn't done growing. Besides, she's not on her own, she's roaming with her boyfriends family. 

"She ran away and according to her mother she spent a lot of time with her boyfriend and his family before that. Why?"

Your guess is as good as mine, this girl could have just been deeply obsessed (which I think the evidence shows.)

"Was she trying to avoid something at home?"

Yeah, she was probably trying to avoid rules and regulations like MOST teens do.

"The way her family behaved in the hotel was frankly insane. I wonder what they do when the cameras are not rolling."

Boy oh boy, didn't everyone say that about Patsy and John Ramsey, now 10 years later we all find out that our suspicions were wrong! Don't judge people who are grieving by their behavior, you could be dead wrong. Just like millions and millions were wrong about the Ramsey's.

You sound like a little girl yourself, who is having issues. Maybe you need therapy or maybe you need to think about people in this world who are actually suffering.

What "research" are you talking about? Please provide links to studies, academic journals, textbooks and so on.

 

While you're on it, also compare the percentages of runaways from healthy families and abusive ones.

 

 

As for her family's behavior, physically grabbing Amanda in order to take away her cell phone, forcing your way into the shower screaming is insane. And remember this was on camera, I would bet they act far crazier when no one is watching.

 

Amanda is not her parents' property, if she wants to live elsewhere it should be her right to do so.

 
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boylemic
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August 21, 2006, 3:46 pm PDT

08/16 The Hunt for Amanda

Quote From: jewelpl

I just finished watching this show and saw my own family.  That set of parents has been put through hell and I know how they fell.

My Daughter was just like this/still is at times/there was drugs involved as well with Melisa.  We put her into a residence treatment program but it hurt us to much and let her work the system and get out before the real problems were solved.

After 2 bouts in jail at age 15/16 for shoplifting and failure to appear in court, theft from our home, forgery she meet a guy that seems to be a gods send.(WRONG)  At first he help to strieghten her out by getting her off the drugs.  She thought she was in love(16) she worrshipped the ground he walked on.  After about 3-4 months he changed and her treatment of myself and her father started to decline again.  At first I thought it was drugs again but now I really feel that she had lost all respect for her father and myself that she thought it was alright to treat us like dirt under her feet.  We were good for meal tickets, toys, paying his child support bill, but we were just stupid and when we would put our foot down and say there was no more money then they would start fighting.  Some how the blame was shifted to us.  She would cuss us, scream and yell, and push(verbally) us as far as she could to try and get us to lose it with her.(I usually was the one that would break first)

It was pure hell for 2 years.  He has been in and out of her life the whole time.  She is now 18 and has a child.  I worry about the Baby all the time but I am trying to make her understand that the baby is her responciblity and that I will be there to help but this was another bad choice she made and now she must grow up and be an adult. 

I feel sorry for her but I just have to keep reminding myself that she is now 18 (she tells me this as well) and that she has a right to decide what she wants to do.  I have decided that as long as the baby is not in any danger to force her to take on these responciblities. 

The father comes back from time to time but mostly just upsets and steps she has moved forward.  She will not turn him away.  She still hopes that they can be together. 

These children who have moved down these paths of self distruction and turned against the famillies that love them have created so many problems that there is no simple answer.

The one thing that really cut me to the bone was at the end of the she when Dr Phil was trying to talk to Amanda and one of her responces was"what ever".  This is the point that means comunications have ended and she has shut down and shut off her listening.  I know that sign very well and can't even tell you how hard it is to hear another child say that.

It was interesting reading your email.  I put a post on here saying that if the parents weren't able to get her under control, she would be pregnant, a criminal wiht George abusing her or a combination of all three.  A few people thought I was a know it all because I mentioned I've worked at a welfare office for 15 years and have seen a thousand Amanda/s but it is extremely predictable to see a kid like Amanda- they almost always end up in the smae boat. My heart goes out to yuo.  You are doing the right thing by letting her raise the child (provided she's safe) and letting her live this"adult" life.  She wanted it and now she nees to clean it up.  God bless you.
 
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boylemic
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August 21, 2006, 3:50 pm PDT

08/16 The Hunt for Amanda

Quote From: meg_vt

This girl is out of control!!!! i also work with adolescents as a therapeutic case manager. I cannot tell you how many girls I have, about the same and far worse than this girl. They are out of their parents control. I tell the parents "DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO KEEP YOUR CHILD SAFE!" If that means calling the police, fine. If that means turning your house into Fort Knox, fine. If it means giving up some of your freedom so that your daughter can be supervised, fine. It is the parents responsibility, duty and the law to keep keep their  children safe. I know, I was an totally rotten tennage girl. I put  my parents through hell with the messes I used to get myself into. But, my parents DID NOT give up on me, nor did they make it easy. I can tell you that although a few years were rough, I have a wonderful life, married, mother, career, couldnt ask for more. Parents, take charge of the situation before your children end up regretting their youth for the rest of their lives.
I agree completel;y and am shocked by the number of posts who have the attitude of Poor Amanda.  Amanda is headed for a life of hell if they don't get control of her.  These other people cannot have children or they wouldn't be saying these things.  I ahve a 12 year old and if I had to quit my job and camp out in her room to watch her 24 hours a day I would do it to keep her safe.  She is the light of my life and I feel physicaly ill when I think about what I would do if she ever ran away.
 
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purplepenny
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August 21, 2006, 8:24 pm PDT

08/16 The Hunt for Amanda

Quote From: username280

What "research" are you talking about? Please provide links to studies, academic journals, textbooks and so on.

 

While you're on it, also compare the percentages of runaways from healthy families and abusive ones.

 

 

As for her family's behavior, physically grabbing Amanda in order to take away her cell phone, forcing your way into the shower screaming is insane. And remember this was on camera, I would bet they act far crazier when no one is watching.

 

Amanda is not her parents' property, if she wants to live elsewhere it should be her right to do so.

"What "research" are you talking about? Please provide links to studies, academic journals, textbooks and so on."

You've lost me now...I didn't say anything about research. I said something about your childish line of thinking NOT being supported by research...Read my post closer.

Amanda is just a spoiled little brat who needs to get a wake up call...there are kids out there with out food to eat, kids who have AIDS...kids who are dying. She needs to get real and frankly so do you.
 
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fcron1803
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August 23, 2006, 1:04 pm PDT

the hunt for amanda

I think the treatment of Amy , of what was shown on tv, was awful.  All the parents wanted was what they wanted.  There wasn't any reason that Amy couldn't use her phone.  What's the problem.  All the parents want to do is keep her sitting on her hands.  Why couldn't she talk to her boyfriend?   I could see why Amy didn't want to live with her parents, they wouldn't let her breathe without their permission.
 
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August 23, 2006, 5:35 pm PDT

08/16 The Hunt for Amanda

Quote From: fcron1803

I think the treatment of Amy , of what was shown on tv, was awful.  All the parents wanted was what they wanted.  There wasn't any reason that Amy couldn't use her phone.  What's the problem.  All the parents want to do is keep her sitting on her hands.  Why couldn't she talk to her boyfriend?   I could see why Amy didn't want to live with her parents, they wouldn't let her breathe without their permission.
They didn't want her to talk to someone who was part of a group that kidnapped her and brainwashed her.

One day, when you are a parent you will understand this. I suspect you are Amy or someone her age who simply doesn't understand what it's like to be a parent.
 
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August 23, 2006, 11:22 pm PDT

oh my god

i can not understand these parents.  She is 16 years old and should be able to use her phone whenever she wants.  There must be a problem with the CRAZY mother that she thinks her daughter "will run again."  Maybe we should try and thinnk about why Amanda would even want to run away.  IT boils down back to the parents.  I don't see what the mother is so closed minded and feels the need to Brand someone a GYPSY.  This is not being a good role model.  Plus i think 16 is a considerable age where she should be able to date.  If i had parents like Amanda's i would want to rebel and run away too.  We should think about maybe getting the nut-zo mother some help.  She is really crazy.  Have you ever seen the movie or read the book, "Flowers in the attic?"  This mother can be compared to the mother character in this story on many levels.
 
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August 24, 2006, 9:12 am PDT

08/16 The Hunt for Amanda

Quote From: cariann

i can not understand these parents.  She is 16 years old and should be able to use her phone whenever she wants.  There must be a problem with the CRAZY mother that she thinks her daughter "will run again."  Maybe we should try and thinnk about why Amanda would even want to run away.  IT boils down back to the parents.  I don't see what the mother is so closed minded and feels the need to Brand someone a GYPSY.  This is not being a good role model.  Plus i think 16 is a considerable age where she should be able to date.  If i had parents like Amanda's i would want to rebel and run away too.  We should think about maybe getting the nut-zo mother some help.  She is really crazy.  Have you ever seen the movie or read the book, "Flowers in the attic?"  This mother can be compared to the mother character in this story on many levels.
You sound like an over dramatic unreasonable teen yourself. The mother in that book was a murderer. This is a mother who is legitimately scared for her child who already disappeared once.

She is 16 and she will use her cell phone when her mother feels the need to LET her.

I think she's proven she's not mature enough to date, she cannot handle the emotional part of dating and is too easily swept away.

I think it's very clear that you are either the girl on this show or you are someone with in this little cultish gypsy world. Or an extremely immature teen yourself...and you or people you know keep coming in here making new accounts and making these posts.
 
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