Topic : 06/08 Deadly Eating

I THINK THIS MOTHER SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF HERSELF  FOR WHAT SHE DID TO HER CHILD....I AM A SINGLE MOM AND I LOVE MY KIDS TOO MUCH TO DO TO MY CHILD  WHAT SHE DID TO HERS.....IT IS A CRIME TO  NOT FEED YOUR CHILD  THEN WHY ISNT  IT A CRIME TO OVER FEED YOUR CHILD.....THIS WOMEN SHOULD BE CHARGED WITH CHILD ABUSE FOR DOING THIS TO HER KID....SHE IS   KILLING HER CHILD  SLOWLY  AND DOES NOT SEEM TO CARE WHAT SHJE IS DOING .....YOU HAVE TO SAY NO TO YOUR CHILDREN ONCE IN AWHILE  AND  DRAW  LIMITATATIONS  ON THEM....MY KIDS WOULD EAT ALL THE TIME IF I LET THEM....THIS PERSON IS AN ADULT  WHY CANT SHE JUST SAY NO TO HER MOM...I UNDERSTAND THAT ITS HARD TO SAY NO TO FOOD I AM OVER WEIGHT  BUT MY KIDS  ARE NOT....JUST MY OPINION   FROM CANADA   CHERYL

Cheryl, First of all, you don't have to use ALL capital letters when you post. It makes it hard to read and a strain on the eyes. Secondly, how on earth can you judge any people on this show if it hasn't aired yet? You are judging a book by its cover. I don't think either of these parents chose to 'do" this to their child, but sometimes parents make bad choices. Nice of you to come by and point out what bad parents these 2 women are. I'm sure YOU are the most PERFECT parent on Earth. ...not!

This is Wendy .

Paul, my dear, sweet friend. My sister called from Utah all a-flutter because she recognized you from the segment on Entertainment Tonight. I looked up Dr. Phil's website, and sure enough...it was you. You're as handsome as you were then. :)

Sweetheart, you're not alone in this fight. I know exactly what you're going through and I wish I could talk to you personally.

I'm thinking of you tonight. You've shown an amazing amount of courage to do this.

Hi Paul,  

  

i just wanted to say you have ppl behind u in this hectic journey you have ahead of u. 

  

just so u know i know how u feel ( the obese stress).   when i divorced 2 yrs ago (ex beat me up) i was pushing 400 lbs.   i am now 295 and still working on losing the last 130.  i read dr phil books and do a lo carb thing.  for me that works.   good luck, im rooting 4 u!!! 

  

  

Hi Paul, 

  

Saw your segment on ET tonight. Just wanted to wish you well as I am sure that tomorrow will be an emotional day. We will all be here for you! 

  

Dave 

 I want to begin by saying that my heart is with you, Paul, and the other guest and moms on the show ~ I wish you the best.

A few things came to my mind as I read the messages on the board:

i) Portions: I live in Canada... Younger, I used to go in the US a few times per year with my parents, and we were always amazed at how large the kid-meals portions were; really the kid-size soda was as large as a "Montreal" adult-medium.  It's funny when you visit for the weekend... but a few of these per week and I guess the pounds add up.  (BTW, Canada also has its health and food problem, I am not there to say that we're better at all; in fact, our portions did increase here in the last years)

ii) When obesity is so wide-spread that it affects most of the population at one point or another... doesn't it become a SOCIAL problem?  Each person has to work and find its own solution... but prevention has to be done at large, in school, etc.  Cooking and nutrition classes for all, 25 hours per year compulsory from 18 to 50?  Why not?  And then you invite your family to see the results :-)

iii) Recently, I heard a super good scientific radio show, and the guest (anthropologist?) explained how our bodies were conceived to crave for maximum-energy food (= fat and sugar...) when available because these would provide long-term reserves if needed later (because of bad hunting season or similar...).  Hmmm, yeah, that explains some things :-s

iv) I didn't see the show yet, so I don't know how's your mood Paul, but I read a book that really helped me in bad days.  It's Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy, by David D. Burns.  I liked it because it gave me tips to "reprogram" my thoughts to become more positive when I felt exactly the opposite.  I can not explain it here, but it is serious and the coping techniques are good.  I still read some chapters when I feel I need it.

v) In the UK, Jamie Oliver (the cook), did a campaign... and starting this year or next, ALL school-kids will have cooking classes.  Many of us never learned to cook and it can be intimidating to try when you know (I am a picky eater and I have severe allergies, so I have to cook... and Iearned while doing it; but I see my brothers and my friends around me... and some have no idea how to cook... or to enjoy cooking/enjoy what they do)

Note: I know some of you have been writing you are perfect parents, active and cooking healthy meals; but nobody's perfect in all fields... so maybe you can share your tips instead of just bragging about it? 

I'm sorry but I have to agree with Cheryl that what this woman did to her child was the most selfish thing I think I have ever seen.  She seems to be conscious of the fact that she herself not only enabled her son, but actually encouraged him in his journey to where he is right now.  I have to wonder if this isn't some bazaar form of Munchausen by proxy.  We can see that she herself has weight issues to be addressed.  Was the fact that Paul is her youngest and she needed to keep someone with her in order to feel fulfilled?  It's not like information about feeding our children appropriately isn't available for ANY parent to find, and with the information available at the touch of a keyboard.  We don't even have to make a trip to the library any more to get good information about what is best for our children.  If we don't start holding people more accountable to what we are doing to our children, either through laziness or selfishness, we will see more and more of our kids with not much of a life to look forward to.

Hi, 

I first want to commend both families for coming forward and searching out a way to overcome obesity. I had gastric bypass surgery almost 3 years ago and I am so glad that I was able to do it and save my own life. I know that surgery isn't for everyone, but I was my saving grace. I am always happy to see when anyone is willing to do what they can to get out of the food addiction cycle. I still struggle with emotional eating, but I love my body being healthy more than I love the food. That is really what it needs to come down to in the end. It isn't easy and there are some days that I do love the food more, but they are few and far between now.  

But on to my concern about this show. I just watched it and I am so happy to see this issue being addressed, but I am so frustrated that it is only really addressed for these two people. I know that Dr. Phil talked about the book that the doctor wrote about heart disease, but beyond that the only solutions were handouts to these two families. I feel good to see that they can be helped, but what about all of the others who are watching and hoping for some sort of life line for themselves? Do they all have to write Dr. Phil to get help? Why can't they give some ideas on how to make the changes in themselves? Why just hand these people food and gym memeberships? Isn't that kind of like giving a man a fish instead of teaching them to fish? At least for the people watching the show? I just felt like there wasn't much given in the education department.  

Ok, I am going to step down off of my soapbox now, I just want to again tell Jazmyn and Paul I wish you all the best and hope that your lives take a wonderful turn towards health and happiness. 

Good fortune to you both! 

     If your friends love you they will support you in your choice to become healthy. But make sure you keep in check with your emotions because you may get angry if they don't give in to your wishes if you're having a bad day. You can do this!!! I know you can!!! But I do feel your mom should be offered the same help because then you both can be each others support system. I can see you love each other. This is a new beginning for the both of you and it's exciting. Please do something for me, please if you do have a bad moment or a day , or feeling don't beat yourself up about it. It's just not worth it. Look at what you have accomplished so far. You are asking for help, your willing to change your environment, seek counseling, nutritional advice, etc..... HoooRaaaay!!!!!! I'm so happy for you !!! Keep going don't give up. You're worth it.!!!!!!