Topic : Borderline Personality Disorder

I was wondering where everyone had gone.  I'm sorry you're feeling so bad, I truly hope things start looking up for you, physically and mentally. 

"Does anyone ever feel that way?"  YES!!!!!!!  Absolutely.  I'm sure that's why we're on all this board.  One thing you can count on is that the majority of us can probably relate to you in most ways. Unfortunately the wanting to die has been a part of my past, more than two decades in fact, and occasionally a part of my present.  My blinds have been shut for a good year now, and they were only open off and on for the two years prior to that. I've shut everyone out as well. I feel that I could have signed my name to your email, it pretty much explained my every day. 

HOWEVER, I know you're not a loser. I know absolutely nothing about you but the fact that you're a fellow sufferer and have children and a husband... and you're NOT a loser! The fact that you're on this board, reaching out and trying to help soothe some of your own pain, and sharing insight with others when you can, screams "NON-loser." So, know that there are other people out here, feeling your very feelings and relating in a way that no one else in your life can. You're worth a lot. I can't give you specifics because I don't know you, but all of God's children are worth an immense amount. On your good days, share with others your knowledge of what helps and what doesn't... on your bad days, ask others to share with you.  We will all help each other and hopefully get past some of our really bad times. 

Things will get better. They have before, right? That means they can again. You're doing a great job in getting back on the board and seeking support... just keep your chin up! 

Good morning everyone  

its been a bit since i wrote anything. been under the weather real bad. And was not up to anything. Still not but will atleast tell everyone hi. I feel so empty inside right not and so much pain and hate. its unbelieveable i feel like i want to die. Does anyone ever feel that way?  It doesnt matter what i do i dont get any joy out of it and i have closed the blinds and dont care if i talk to anyone right now. anyway just has to vent some. I feel alone even though my boys and husband are here in the same house as me. What a loser i am. Thats how i feel right now.  I am writing everything back wards.better go.  

Welcome! I am sorry for your frustration, that must really be hard on you. Keep the hope, that's what matters most! 

The one thing that keeps being drilled into my head, over and over, and unfortunately I still haven't completely grasped the concept of, is the fact that people with BPD aren't the best communicators. We make a lot of assumptions and they're mostly inaccurate. The key to that is to ask clarifying questions so we can understand better what message is being conveyed.  So, NO... you don't sound rude or dumb... you should feel proud of yourself for asking for clarification! 

The BPD Indicator questionnaire is meant to help family and friends see if they can relate in anyway to the things being asked. It's a simple way to find out if their loved one is suffering with BPD.  I have a lot of good information on symptoms of BPD, if you're interested in that also. 

Are you still confused and upset about your diagnoses? I felt the same way a couple of years ago when I was diagnosed, and I even became angry. That all dissipated when I began researching on the internet and with books from the library. Knowledge is power and unless and until (Dr. Phil) we begin understanding for ourselves the why's and how's of this disorder, we will most likely remain upset and confused. I've been fortunate enough to also see a therapist each week for 2 1/2 years, which helps incredibly. However, if that isn't an option for you, there is still a lot of peace to be found by researching it all on your own.  Good luck to you! 

Hi, I am new here and I just wanted to respond to your quote.  My name is Ivy and I have BiPolar 1, schiozoaffective, and BPD.  I know exactly how you feel.  It's like sometimes you feel like you are stuck in a tiny little box and you have no where to move and even if you scream your loudest no on can here because the pain and frustration and hatred are just so deep.  Do not feel alone.  I feel like this everyday.  Just like I am trapped inside my own mind.  I have my husband here and two daughters and no matter who tries to help it doesn't matter it's just a screwed up situation that I'm gonna have to deal with for the rest of my life.  What kind of meds are you on.  I am on Trileptal, Abilify, Wellbutrin, and Serequel.  I am out of it half the time but I don't really mind cause at least I sleep the majority of the day and I get alittle escape.  Please reply, I am looking forward to meeting someone who knows exactly how I feel.  By the way I am 26 years old and my two daughters are 8 and 6 months, my husband is 41.  I look forward to hearing from you. 

Ivy 

Welcome to the board  

its nie having your here. I am on Lamictal and Geodon and Klonopin. I  have been crying alot so i think my anti depressant isnt working. I cut yesterday which made me feel aweful but then i started to cry. like it released all my emotions. weird. i want to  scream and feel like i am in a black hole with no grips to hold on too. But coming to this board helps. and everyone is so nice. i have two sons that are 12 and my husband is 42 and i am 39. I was diagonsed with bi polar 8 years ago and major depression recurrant along in may 2005 ended up in the hospital and they diagnosed me with BPD. i was so angry for along time another thing to deal with. and the bad thing is my adoptive parents have disowned me due to all of this. they think its all in my head. We all have to deal with these illnesses in our own way. but these boards help to vent and get others imput on matters. Does your husband understand??? you must have it rough sleeping all the timie with the baby. i know i did that with the twins. I was drugged up so much i couldnt do much. Keep trying and glad you came to the board.  

blaze