Message Boards

Topic : Borderline Personality Disorder

Number of Replies: 946
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Saturday, February 04, 2006, 07:59:09 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
If you or a loved one suffers from Borderline Personality Disorder, find encouragement and support, share advice, and connect with others dealing with this illness.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

April 7, 2008, 7:20 pm CDT

Borderline Personality Disorder

Quote From: karengood1

 Hi all,

Let me introduce myself. I am new to the boards, but a long time fan of Dr. P. I was diagnosed with BPD at 50, and had a history of depression only (I thought) and saw counselors for years. How no one even suggested that I might have this personality disorder is mind boggling to me. It could have possibly saved me a complete breakdown and loss of function in my life for the last 2 years. Six hospitalizations due to overdoses and other OD's that no one knows about. Of course, I am famous for blaming others for my problems, so I am following my normal behavior pattern here. I am a health professional, still with a license to practice for now, but my license is precariously hanging in the balance. That does not help, but I am wondering if I even want to continue in this field anyway. I have been waffling on that for the last 2 years also.

Just today, I lost another job. Since my "breakdown" I have attempted to return to work 4 times now. Every time I screw it up. I am late, make mistakes and miss a lot of days. I really had been doing better this time, however I was working somewhere that I was exposed to every current flu virus and etc, so I got really sick twice and missed a lot of days within 5 weeks of employment.. This is a pattern that happens with most of the new emloyees there I was told (getting sick a lot at first), but they have a new boss and she is high strung and very impatient, so today she told me adios. This is tough, because twice when I lost jobs due to this, I ended up the hospital...not good. Since my last visit to a hospital, I have made many positive changes...stopped drinking alcohol, internet dating and risky behavior, joined a church and coping better day by day. I am just concerned now that this set back will set ME back!! My therapist has been bragging on how well I was doing. The good thing about the job situation is that I am still employed through a temporary agency, so as far as I know I still am with them. So I was not actually employed at this last place officially if that makes sense. I got teary eyed when the evil Nurse nazi let me go and I am still kind of in shock at the moment. I had showed up at work this morning and was told the agency was notified that they were ending my contract with them, but no one called me to let me know!!!

Can you imagine how well a person with BPD takes this kind of news? Not well.

I have 2 grown sons and 2 grandchildren. No boyfriend...sad. I really hate my life somedays and am totally miserable. Also I live in an emotionally abusive situation and totally negative people. Other choice is homeless. I do have a job interview tomorrow that sounds promising, but it is in the same field. When you have done something for 21 years, it is hard to change careers..especially if you cannot come up with any new ideas.

I just wanted to say hi, I have read through some posts and am so sorry that all of you have to live this way too. The emotional roller coaster is tiresome.

One question I have is, can you be on Dr. Phil's show if you have a mental disorder? I wrote in about my dysfunctional son and his unbelievable situation with an ex because I am really concerned about the children. I know he is all about the well being of children so I hope that my illness would not prevent us from being on...we need help desperately. I had heard that you could not be on the show if you are diagnosed with one. I hope that is not true. I am not the problem in the situation, but I let it keep me upset a LOT!

Best of luck to all of you if I don't get any responses.

kg1
Hi, I also was almost 50 when my doctor told me I was bpd. My  doctors had told me I was depressed, and suffered from a low self esteem for many years. So I quit seeing my shrink and guess what I spent years living with panic and anxiety. I didn't know what was wrong. I spent about 5 years without my phyciatrist. Then after a few problems my family doc refered me back to the phyciatric nedical clinic. I was told I suffed from dysthemia and I was parinoid. Wow like that helped. My doctor then sent me to a dbt course. Well that helped so much. But yet no one would sit me down and tell me it is bpd, until I met my new phyciatrist. He changed my meds and got me into a therepy group. I may never be perfect but I am starting to feel strong enough that there may be light at the end of the tunnel.
 
April 9, 2008, 5:30 pm CDT

Borderline Personality Disorder

Quote From: cynder73

I was diagnosed with BPD when I was a teenager, now that I am in my 30s I have found that when I tell therapists I have been diagnosed with BPD they have said they don't believe BPD is a legitamite diagnosis for anyone or that I would have "outgrown" it by now. It is so frustrating when trying to get help and information about BPD. I do not think this disorder is discussed nearly enough. And why is there such confusion about this disorders existence among people who are not in their teens?

BPD is VERY real and any therapist that thinks otherwise needs to go back to school and learn a thing or two about it or they need to find a new profession. It's not something you outgrown either. It's a chronic condition, which means while the symptoms are manageable, it will always be there. People don't "outgrow" diabetes, bipolar or heart disease, you don't outgrow BPD either.

 

A lot of the information published about this disorder does say symptoms tend to improve with age, typically in a person's 30's & 40's, but I'd have to disagree with that wholeheartedly. I wasn't even diagnosed with it until I was 35...when my symptoms were actually getting WORSE! I also know quite a few other people that weren't diagnosed until their 30's and others that were diagnosed as teens & 20 somethings, but are still suffering just as much in the 30's, 40's & even 50's.

 

There isn't enough info out there about this disorder but some good news came out of the House of Representatives on April 1st that will hopefully help change that. Sponsored by Rep. Thomas Davis [R-VA], a bill passed by 414-0 that designates May as Borderline Personality Disorder Awareness Month. All I can say is YAY!!! I hope this designation goes a long way towards educating everyone, even the mental health professionals that are ignorant about it, what BPD is and that it is a very real, very devastating illness.

 

Here is the text regarding "H. Res. 1005: Supporting the goals and ideals of Borderline Personality Disorder Awareness Month" that was passed.......

 

April 1, 2008.

Whereas borderline personality disorder (BPD) affects the regulation of emotion and afflicts approximately 2 percent of the general population;

 

Whereas BPD is a leading cause of suicide, as an estimated 10 percent of individuals with this disorder take their own lives;

 

Whereas BPD usually manifests itself in adolescence and early adulthood;

 

Whereas symptoms of BPD include self-injury; rage; substance abuse; destructive impulsiveness; a pattern of unstable emotions, self-image, and relationships; and may result in suicide;

 

Whereas BPD is inheritable and is exacerbated by environmental factors;

 

Whereas official recognition of BPD is relatively new, and diagnosing it is often impeded by lack of awareness and frequent co-occurrence with other conditions, such as depression, bipolar disorder, substance abuse, anxiety, and eating disorders;

 

Whereas despite its prevalence, enormous public health costs, and the devastating toll it takes on individuals, families, and communities, BPD only recently has begun to command the attention it requires;

 

Whereas it is essential to increase awareness of BPD among people suffering from this disorder, their families, mental health professionals, and the general public by promoting education, research, funding, early detection, and effective treatments; and

 

Whereas the National Education Alliance for Borderline Personality Disorder and the National Alliance on Mental Illness have requested that Congress designate May as Borderline Personality Disorder Awareness Month as a means of educating our Nation about this disorder, the needs of those suffering from it, and its consequences: Now, therefore, be it

    Resolved, That the House of Representatives supports the goals and ideals of Borderline Personality Disorder Awareness Month.

 
April 11, 2008, 10:34 am CDT

hello

 I wrote the post earlier about the book "Lost in the mirror"  I was wondering if we could all start writing to Dr.Phil about this so that therefor all those individuals that are out there getting misdiagnosed can get the help they need.  It was a good feeling to finally put a name to something that masks itself as so many different disorders, if you will.  This disorder is a tricky one and therefor difficult to diagnose.  And some as metioned below do not even believe in BPD.  I was never sexually abused.  Verbal/mental deffinitely.  Growing up my house was chaos.  My real father abandoned us when I was little and my step father's were not much help either.  Never really felt a connection to anyone but my mom.  One day she was my best friend and the next my mortal enemy.  Very common for BPD.  I didn't know what it was and my poor mother was just on the roller coaster ride.  Although she was in charge of the roller coaster that was my life with all the different adults that were introduced.  I currently am 33 and try to take care of this on my own due to the lack of enthusiam in seeing a therapist on a regular basis.  I am doing alright it just is hard sometimes to listen to how my mind works.  It can turn a small problem into a big one in the matter of moments.  Please I beg all of you to write to Dr.Phil there are many of us out there that are being told we are "just depressed" and so many other things.  The right treatment for these people is not possible without a proper diagnosis.
 
April 15, 2008, 7:27 pm CDT

understanding is the game

i was diognosed with a personality disorder around my 48 birthday not long after losing my 80 job, such is life.
 
April 19, 2008, 3:04 pm CDT

Borderline Personality Disorder

Quote From: bay218

 I wrote the post earlier about the book "Lost in the mirror"  I was wondering if we could all start writing to Dr.Phil about this so that therefor all those individuals that are out there getting misdiagnosed can get the help they need.  It was a good feeling to finally put a name to something that masks itself as so many different disorders, if you will.  This disorder is a tricky one and therefor difficult to diagnose.  And some as metioned below do not even believe in BPD.  I was never sexually abused.  Verbal/mental deffinitely.  Growing up my house was chaos.  My real father abandoned us when I was little and my step father's were not much help either.  Never really felt a connection to anyone but my mom.  One day she was my best friend and the next my mortal enemy.  Very common for BPD.  I didn't know what it was and my poor mother was just on the roller coaster ride.  Although she was in charge of the roller coaster that was my life with all the different adults that were introduced.  I currently am 33 and try to take care of this on my own due to the lack of enthusiam in seeing a therapist on a regular basis.  I am doing alright it just is hard sometimes to listen to how my mind works.  It can turn a small problem into a big one in the matter of moments.  Please I beg all of you to write to Dr.Phil there are many of us out there that are being told we are "just depressed" and so many other things.  The right treatment for these people is not possible without a proper diagnosis.
my son is suffering with this same problem. He has been to many doctors, and they keep giving him medicine or whatever, but never get to the problem. He is crying out for help everyday, so that he can have a life. It is so sad to see your loved ones slowly going away.
 
April 30, 2008, 5:43 pm CDT

Unknown

Quote From: bpddefect

BPD is VERY real and any therapist that thinks otherwise needs to go back to school and learn a thing or two about it or they need to find a new profession. It's not something you outgrown either. It's a chronic condition, which means while the symptoms are manageable, it will always be there. People don't "outgrow" diabetes, bipolar or heart disease, you don't outgrow BPD either.

 

A lot of the information published about this disorder does say symptoms tend to improve with age, typically in a person's 30's & 40's, but I'd have to disagree with that wholeheartedly. I wasn't even diagnosed with it until I was 35...when my symptoms were actually getting WORSE! I also know quite a few other people that weren't diagnosed until their 30's and others that were diagnosed as teens & 20 somethings, but are still suffering just as much in the 30's, 40's & even 50's.

 

There isn't enough info out there about this disorder but some good news came out of the House of Representatives on April 1st that will hopefully help change that. Sponsored by Rep. Thomas Davis [R-VA, a bill passed by 414-0 that designates May as Borderline Personality Disorder Awareness Month. All I can say is YAY!!! I hope this designation goes a long way towards educating everyone, even the mental health professionals that are ignorant about it, what BPD is and that it is a very real, very devastating illness.

 

Here is the text regarding "H. Res. 1005: Supporting the goals and ideals of Borderline Personality Disorder Awareness Month" that was passed.......

 

April 1, 2008.

Whereas borderline personality disorder (BPD) affects the regulation of emotion and afflicts approximately 2 percent of the general population;

 

Whereas BPD is a leading cause of suicide, as an estimated 10 percent of individuals with this disorder take their own lives;

 

Whereas BPD usually manifests itself in adolescence and early adulthood;

 

Whereas symptoms of BPD include self-injury; rage; substance abuse; destructive impulsiveness; a pattern of unstable emotions, self-image, and relationships; and may result in suicide;

 

Whereas BPD is inheritable and is exacerbated by environmental factors;

 

Whereas official recognition of BPD is relatively new, and diagnosing it is often impeded by lack of awareness and frequent co-occurrence with other conditions, such as depression, bipolar disorder, substance abuse, anxiety, and eating disorders;

 

Whereas despite its prevalence, enormous public health costs, and the devastating toll it takes on individuals, families, and communities, BPD only recently has begun to command the attention it requires;

 

Whereas it is essential to increase awareness of BPD among people suffering from this disorder, their families, mental health professionals, and the general public by promoting education, research, funding, early detection, and effective treatments; and

 

Whereas the National Education Alliance for Borderline Personality Disorder and the National Alliance on Mental Illness have requested that Congress designate May as Borderline Personality Disorder Awareness Month as a means of educating our Nation about this disorder, the needs of those suffering from it, and its consequences: Now, therefore, be it

    Resolved, That the House of Representatives supports the goals and ideals of Borderline Personality Disorder Awareness Month.

BPD is the most miss understood disorder.  Age has nothing to do with it.  I was diagnosed with BPD when I was 42yrs old, it can become a life problem at any time and be triggered by any event.

 

I belive that one important thing is that someone seeking help should ask for personal councalling, it can go a long way to understanding yourself and where these feelings come from.  It will not cure you but can releave some unresolved tensions within you.

 

I'm now 52yrs old and still working on keeping myself safe from anything that may take me in the wrong driection.  Coucalling is a thing that can be of the best mending.

 

  Medication may also be of benifit.

 
May 4, 2008, 5:05 pm CDT

borderline mother

Hello all! Am wondering if  there is any direction out there for my situation. I have a borderline mother who I have been too scared of to stand up for myself for 30 yrs of my life. Recently (through many years of therapy and education about bpd and realizing that I wasnt wortholess, etc), I finally stood up for myself and told her that I was tired of her treating me the way she has been, etc....well, we all know that wasnt the best approach with a bpd.

However, it was so exhilirating to know that I finally stood up for myself with absolutely no guilt or remorse or feeling that I somehow deserved it. Now here is my problem.....she hung up on me and we haven't spoken for about a month now. I have heard from other family members that she will not speak to me until I call and apologize for yelling/screaming at her and cussing her out (am wondering which conversation she was in because my thoughts on the conversation were a little different- hmph). Soooooo, I have done a good thing for me and I want her to know that I will no longer tolerate her behavior or manipulation of me. I am wondering what the next step is.....Mothers day is coming up and I find my thoughts drifting to the whole "she turned her back on me and couldnt even make peace for mothers day" then I think....she hung up on me, she turned her back on me....then I get angry at having to play this "game" and realize that I am much better than this.

So here is the question....what to do? Do I suck it up for mothers day and once again push my feelings aside? I have thought about having a heart to heart with her, but dont know if this will occur before mothers day because I am still pretty angry about the whole situation. Is there any approach i can take here that will be better? Not sure and was wonderign what others thought....

thanks in advance :)
 
May 12, 2008, 12:16 pm CDT

Resources for Family Members

It is great that BPD is getting visibility  on your Website,  especially  considering that May has been declared by congress as BPD Awareness Month.

Family members of individuals with BPD often need support.

The Natioal Education Alliance for Borderline Personality Disorder has an excellent 12 week program for family members.  The NEABPD is sponsored, in part , by granst from the National Institute of Health.

There is also an on-line support group that can help families located in cities not served by the NEABPD -   BPDFamily (bpdfamily.com).

Both of these resources are sponsored by grants and private donations.
 
May 21, 2008, 6:31 pm CDT

Afraid...

I don't have much luck with relationships.   I sometimes wonder if I am destined to live a life of lonliness because of this illness.  It's really scary to think that could happen.  Anyone out there who has some good advice..a successful relationship??  I don't want to go through life alone because of this illness.
 
May 23, 2008, 11:23 pm CDT

My Nephew - schizaophrenia-PLEASE HELP!

Dear Dr. Phil,

Not for effect, I am literally crying as I'm writing this story, and I'm ususally a strong woman.  I am an Aunt who is very close to my 30yr old nephew, I've tried to be there he's whole life.  He always seem to be a lost soul, a wonderful goodlooking man with many problems but has overcome alot and has/had such potential...a lost sould, even starting from childhood.  This involves many areas.  From childhood neglect, drug abuse, been in boot camp, etc. Our family is very close and love him dearly.  Recently, mostly the last few months, recently it seems he has been diagnosed with schizophrenia.  This has escalated into painful areas, this wonderful man that a family who feels helpless is in extraordinary pain and distress.  He started with technical things effecting him, i.e. cell phnoes, tv's, computers, video/cameras in walls, etc. he seem to need or feel for light light bulbs (sometimes thinking lil people were in there telling him things), alumium foil used to insert  his hats, sneakers, etc., frequent things, he will tap his head, waive his hands, snap his fingers.  He has had to go ER's in extreme circumstances, but it was voluntarily where he would check himself out. There are times when he seems like his old self, looks good on the outside. Just recently, he was using a vacuum to go over his body and sucking the air from hismelf, almost not being able to breath, and ambulance was called, and they almost wouldn't take him b/c of some technicalities, but they did.  He was taken to the local ER for eval and the following morning admitted intto a short term hospital that had a Mental Health Unit.  He was previously on soboxone from previous drug use for years, and adderal, which I believe contributed/enhanced his mental issues. He would be up for days on end.  The hospital did get him off of those and treated him for withdrawl, so that was a positive thing, are trying different medications to see what will work to help him, but he still doesn't understand why "his family" would put him there and doesn't admit/realize what he did in all of our homes when we tried to help keep him with us, but we were helpless. He's been there now for a week, he is very upset/angry that it's involuntarily and he can't check himself out, he sleeps alot from the medication they give him which I guess is a catch 22 if the meds work for his voices and other stuff.  We keep reassuring him that we all love him and to get better, but he doesn't discuss what he's done.  Example:  With a hammer he banged holes in the walls and ceilings trying to find where the camera/video is that's on him.  I've researched and tried to get as educated as much as possible, he's not what I believed to be typically insane/that bad to be committed. He's trying and he's scared, he has one more week, then a Judge comes in to decide his future faith, i.e. conditional release to maintain his meds, seek counselling, or committed to a County hospital, which around here are so bad, they just let people whither away in the system.  He has issues that started from childhood, a lost sould, felt unloved by the ones he need them to.  I am begging for your input help, or if he and some the family could meet with you, we don't have money unfortunately and I think if you would even consider it, being on your show to be on tv would be detrimental.  PLEASE HELP, I love him and this has been upsetting me beyond belief.  I know others have it worse, but this is my family, and I have to protect them and find the strength to at least try to help.  PLEASE get back to me, I wish he could get into a nice respectful facility for a period of time that truly care about these issues, even back so far as childhool, drug abuse now this mental health problem, I have no where to turn. I have never written a show, but you were the one I thought and hoped for, and if not I have no hope left. I'm a single Mom who has endured alot  of  my own, but I take care of my daughter 1st, but he is like a son to me and is angry with his father who loves him alot, his mother has mental issues, my Mom (his grandmother) is very fragile and I'm trying to handle this so she doesn't have to be anymore distressed.  We are typically a private family, but pleaseeeee help me/us rather my nephew Michael.  He even has a son that he hasn't seen b/c he's going through this.  I am holding onto the hope that I hear from you. Thank you for taking the time to read this and hope that you do, though I'm sure your busy.  Worried and end of tear, Kathy

cateyes5k@comcast.net

 
First | Prev | 86 | 87 | 88 | 89 | 90 | 91 | 92 | 93 | 94 | Next | Last