Topic : Borderline Personality Disorder

"Most folks are about as happy as they make their minds up to be" ..This known quote may apply to you and me, but, not for thoes challenged with BPD. My daughter was diagnosed with the disease 4 years ago at age 20 when she was transferred to a facility for mental illness immediately after being hospitalized for attempting suicide and coming breaths away from doing so. I commend you for your support, it is needed. As is medication and a therapist that your cousin TRUST'S. The medication and it's progression or regression is very important and must be carefully monitored. I am not a doctor but am speaking from first hand experience as my daughter was to on Prozac and was prescribed too high a dosage which resulted in a terrible outcome. The book,"Stop walking on egg shells" has some good information ,I thought to help aid family and friends "TRY" to understand and support loved ones who suffer from this disease. I have learned my daughter is extremely "aware" "in tune" people's moods,body language even tone of voice and that effects her mood positively or otherwise. I have heard some positive stuff about DBT treatment and perhaps this is something you may want to look into. Hopefully your young adult cousin will accept help,so may with BPD do not and it will lead to more serious problems. GOOD ON YOU FOR TRYING TO DO YOUR BEST!..DON'T FORGET ABOUT YOURSELF AND THE REST OF YOUR FAMILY. I truly hope some of this helps. I solute you, everyone who is doing their best to be supportive to so many with this disease and

also Thank you to Dr.Phil and his team for this message board and support.  

I am a contradiction. No matter what it is, every detail about me goes against another detail. Because of this, I'm unable to ever make heads or tails of anything, and yet at the same time it's easy for me to make sense of any situation I'm faced with. I'm cold, calculating, and distant, but at the same time I also know myself to be light hearted and strong in my own emotions. Every waking moment is filled with constant turmoil because of this confusion, both emotional and physical, that always haunts me. Even my very existence is a contradiction. I am someone who should've never been born, and yet I'm very much alive healthy. I am also someone who wishes to be dead, but despite that fact that I crave that state with every fiber of my being, I am unable to bring myself to that condition. Not because I am afraid of death, but because I am unable to consciously cause myself harm for fear of that pain. I have always been able to see the possible outcomes of every situation and most of the time, I am able to steer the situation in the direction that most appeals to me. However, whenever I look towards my own future the only possibility I am sure of, or can even see is that I will one day be responsible for my own death. It's so strange, I have always been someone likely to succeed, to have the challenges of life come easily to me. Despite that, I am the one unable to find my own accomplishments on the path I'm stuck following. I have always been anti-social, an introvert at heart, yet I find myself surrounded by many people I somehow made to be my friends. Strangest of all, I have thought this way since before I reached an age consisting of two digits. I used to tell myself I was crazy, under the knowledge that the truly insane are always unaware of their status, and I would acknowledge I was crazy as a way of protecting myself from that fate. Now, when I wonder if all of these contradictory thoughts occur because I am crazy, for a brief second I become fearful and tell myself it's not possible. When I catch myself thinking that, I force myself to be logical again and acknowledge that I must be crazy so that I won't be. Please, if nothing else, can someone confirm these thoughts for me. I feel as though my own mind is just a realm of chaos in which my inner self is hopelessly and helplessly searching for some sort of solid state.