Dr. Phil.com - Messageboards - Borderline Personality Disorder

nly10me4

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November 18, 2008, 9:01 am PST

http://bpdresources.net/best_support_groups/resources_bpd.htm

Quote From: wifeinsavannah

quick history - married my husband last year after 7 years of dating.

i left him before our 1 year anniversary.

after leaving is when i started therapy - and just learned last week about me being BPD.

since i have left (back in March) i have been going back and forth - wanting to divorce, wanting to reconcile.

2 weeks ago, i was very emotional and angry and told him to send the divorce papers to his atty.

two days after i told him to do that, i already regretted it.

i asked him if we could call off the divorce and really work at getting things worked out. he now says that while he does still love, he has lost the connection with me.

we had problems, but not all was my fault. i am freaking out because i have 2-4 weeks to make a final decision on the marriage and i am still going back and forth.

i am so lost and confused and tired and emotionally exhausted.

Maybe if you can find a support group for family members/partners of BPD sufferers...here's a start

http://bpdresources.net/best_support_groups/resources_bpd.htm Good Luck...Laura

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nly10me4

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November 18, 2008, 9:22 am PST

BPD and grieving

I've been working on BPD for about 17yrs...it is possible to change behaviors...it is alot of work. My problem is I've just lost my Mother (with all kinds of dysfunction). I lost my Dad 19 yrs ago...thats when the suicide attempts started and the depression began. Now my Mother's death is scary and I've put it aside (grieving) until I'm ready...but it is festering. Her death brought out some anger at her and my Father again. I loved my parents and they loved me (they just didn't protect me as a child). How do you grieve for someone you're angry at...as a borderline. It is all so intense and hurts so much...my therapist can only do so much. Anyone out there dealing with grief...for anything? Wanna share?

Laura

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babsypoo

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November 20, 2008, 4:39 pm PST

borderline and abuse

I have recently been diagnosed with bpd and ocd. I am on medication but having an extremely difficult time finding a therapist. I work full time and am caregiver to my parents. It's weird to take care of the woman whom I feared most of my life. Emotional/physical abuse and neglect. In other words, if she wasn't ignoring me she was being abusive. Now I see a shell of the person she was. Diabetes, heart disease and strokes have made her more unapproachable than ever. In fact, I don't want to approach her. I get so angry at her and my Dad for not protecting me and even not acknowledging what went on. I take care of them out of some sort of strange obligation towards bringing me into this world. I wish I could find a therapist...does it hurt to have a therapist of the opposite sex. Maybe I need to not be too picking about gender and care more about speciality? Any opinions?

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lillly

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December 7, 2008, 10:12 pm PST

Borderline Personality Disorder

Quote From: angeladavies

how do you stop cutting yourself?

I dont know I do it too but now it is not enough.. so let me know if you figure it out.

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jennell70

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December 27, 2008, 8:50 am PST

You are not alone

Quote From: lillly

I dont know I do it too but now it is not enough.. so let me know if you figure it out.

I have DID which is simular to ocd... It was brought on by post tramatic stress issues. I am a cutter as well. But usually I only do it when one of the other personalities emerge. I began therapy in 2005. It has been a very good thing for me. I can talk to my therapist about anything that is bothering me today, or that is still an issue from my past. And I know it is safe with her, She cannot tell anyone my personal details... Unless I tell her I intend to hurt myself or others right now... Knowing she will keep my secrets and does not judge me for them has helped me move forward better than anything else I've tried. There are still times I have bad days and days when the others emerge, But thru therapy and being placed on the right meds has improved my life greatly in 3 years. I'd recommend it to you. But you have to be willing to participate and commit to learning coping skills even when you dont feel it's working. Don't go by feelings, because our feelings meter is messed up. You know you feel bad and you know you want to feel better, use that as your guide to seek the help you need. As for gender, use your preference on it. can you open up easily to a man? a woman? If you have a preferred choice, let the eval worker know. And If you find the therapist doesn't click with you, don't give up. Ask for someone else. I'd recommend a big clinic instead of a single doctor clinic. So you will have more choices... And always remember your personal goal is to get to a normal life. You do have control in what happens to you now. Find your inner strenght to be brave as you move forward away from your past. You can do it!

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jennell70

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December 27, 2008, 9:01 am PST

Borderline Personality Disorder

Quote From: pickuppete

I have a family member that I believe has BPD. I am a nurse and have researched this subject for many months, as I have suspected this family member has had this disorder for years. Clinically, she has only been diagnosed with depression and is now treated with 60 mg of Prozac daily. I guess these are my questions:

Is it common to be misdiagnosed with depression when you have this disorder? Why?

Are there any medications that work better than Prozac, and if so what are they? ( I ask this understanding that there is no magic pill.... therapy must exist as well)

How, How, How do I get this child through college when she clearly has the mentality of a 16 year old and EVERYTHING is drama to the max?

HELP! She's my cousin and I'm basically raising her @ this point - and I'm not that much older than she. I have a two year old and seriously am not ready to deal with a 21 year old acting like a moody child!

Thanks for any advice. Even though I've researched the disorder, clearly I am not able to "deal" with the issues that go along with it.

I've been on a lot of different meds for mpd... the one that is working best for me is Seriquil and Lexapro for the anxiety issues... My docs put me on a high dose at first and it was too much... which is the hardest part of the meds... getting it right for each person... but after lowering it to a dose that keeps me stable and not too drugged up its working good for me... but it takes time. And if she is getting way out of hand where you feel she is a danger to herselp or others, you can hospitalize her to jumpstart therapy and to get meds doses right. But therapy is the first step...

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bumbleb28

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February 17, 2009, 2:13 pm PST

I am BPD

Quote From: jennell70

I've been on a lot of different meds for mpd... the one that is working best for me is Seriquil and Lexapro for the anxiety issues... My docs put me on a high dose at first and it was too much... which is the hardest part of the meds... getting it right for each person... but after lowering it to a dose that keeps me stable and not too drugged up its working good for me... but it takes time. And if she is getting way out of hand where you feel she is a danger to herselp or others, you can hospitalize her to jumpstart therapy and to get meds doses right. But therapy is the first step...

As well, I have several mental disorders and it is very frustrating to find the right combination of meds to control it, but I take 8 different pills a day and have changed meds I dont know how many times. The one important factor to help the BPD person is a psychotherapist! I also bought a GREAT book to explain to me my illness ( its very hard to explain and understand this mental monster), it is called "I hate you dont leave" by Jerold J. Kreisman, MD and Hal Straus. You can find it any where books are sold. Now, to answer your question, there is no control over this illness, you can take all kinds of pills, do therapy, but the key is to not classify yourself to this disorder and know your triggers and what to do when they arrive. My other 2 big helps are being faithful to my religion and GOD, as well as Dr. Phil. I have some of his books and watch his show faithfully. The BPD person also really needs a lot of positive family and/or friends to support them. I dont have that, and I have been hospitalized in 2 different mental institutes several time through out my life because I dont have and support really. I have unsuccesfully comited suicide thousands of times as well I am a cutter. If your loved one has this disorder PLEASE support her and get her all the help you can, I wish my family had, and now I am a victim in my own mind and body. I could go on forever explaining this but I wont. GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS YOU, your one of the people who has the ability to not be in denial and that is a great trait!!!!

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nerual101

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April 16, 2009, 8:24 pm PDT

My Ex-Best Friend.

I used to have a friend with BPD.
From the age of 10 she tried to convince people she was depressed.
She almost succeeded, until a real psychiatrist came into town and diagnosed her.
Multiple times she said she'd kill herself, but she never did, or even tried.
She ended up in a mental health wrad for a while, only because she had lied about overdosing.
She became addicted to sex from the age of 12.
She even slept with a cable guy, she was that desperate.
Growing up, she destroyed most other friendships I attempted to make.
She stole boys who I became interested in.
I loved this girl, I thought she was my best mate, but I was dearly wrong.
I moved when I was about 15 to the city, and she moved shortly after to board to go to a dance school.
It wasn't two bad, I mostly only saw her on weekends, when she stayed wih us.
But soon after she started to meet my new friends.
She went took email contacts of mine, and met up with friends behind my back.
The only way I found out was because my friends told me.
She started dating a best friend of mine when I was in the mental health ward after trying to kill myself, and she partially sent me back there when she turned my friend against me.
But after two months of not talking to her, for the first time in our whole friendship, she apologised first.
We started hanging out again, and she met more of my friends.
But one night she went to a party, acted like a slut, and tried to get an aquainance of mine done for rape.
Then she made other accusations about my family, said that me and my sibling both tried to sexually harrass her.
She made claims that our family never fed her when she was with us, what a lie, when she stayed with us, she used to eat everything in out fridge, I even made cakes and soups for her when we didnt have much.
I stopped talking to her, and thankfully shortly after sh moved again and I don't have to see her.
I tried to be a loyal friend, and support her.
As much as I hated how she acted, I loved her as a mate.
I wish I could have helped her, but I'm afriad to say my Mother was right, two unstable people most of the time, can't be friends.
I hope that anyone with BPD makes sure they get help, and I pray that one day, my ex-best friend will.

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rezgal0929

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April 28, 2009, 11:25 am PDT

Hey

I have Border Line Personality Disorder, due to my parents that abused me a lot when I was younger that is why I have this disease. and I have had to go and see a therapist for it for about a year now and I have been in patient 3 times for the mental disorder. And I have been trying to deal with it and my husband has been walking with me to deal with this. I find my self that I can't remember things that have happened a couple of weeks ago unless I really think about it. I also notice that my moods change very rapidly and my husband really doesn't have a clue of what I am feeling unless he sits down and watch the things that I do.
I have noticed that I have to journal my feelings a lot of what I may feel every hour or so and that is a lot of journaling.
When I was first was diagnosis with this, I thought that my world was going to end and I wasn't sure of how I can make it through life with this, and my therapist is helping me to get me into a class called DBT if me work will allow it.

But what I can say about Borderline Personality Disorder is that it is something that will take time to deal with and that it will never go away.
I hope that everyday that I am me and not my personality and that is really hard.

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stayingtuned

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May 6, 2009, 2:46 pm PDT

try to remember

Quote From: pickuppete

I have a family member that I believe has BPD. I am a nurse and have researched this subject for many months, as I have suspected this family member has had this disorder for years. Clinically, she has only been diagnosed with depression and is now treated with 60 mg of Prozac daily. I guess these are my questions:

Is it common to be misdiagnosed with depression when you have this disorder? Why?

Are there any medications that work better than Prozac, and if so what are they? ( I ask this understanding that there is no magic pill.... therapy must exist as well)

How, How, How do I get this child through college when she clearly has the mentality of a 16 year old and EVERYTHING is drama to the max?

HELP! She's my cousin and I'm basically raising her @ this point - and I'm not that much older than she. I have a two year old and seriously am not ready to deal with a 21 year old acting like a moody child!

Thanks for any advice. Even though I've researched the disorder, clearly I am not able to "deal" with the issues that go along with it.

"Most folks are about as happy as they make their minds up to be" ..This known quote may apply to you and me, but, not for thoes challenged with BPD. My daughter was diagnosed with the disease 4 years ago at age 20 when she was transferred to a facility for mental illness immediately after being hospitalized for attempting suicide and coming breaths away from doing so. I commend you for your support, it is needed. As is medication and a therapist that your cousin TRUST'S. The medication and it's progression or regression is very important and must be carefully monitored. I am not a doctor but am speaking from first hand experience as my daughter was to on Prozac and was prescribed too high a dosage which resulted in a terrible outcome. The book,"Stop walking on egg shells" has some good information ,I thought to help aid family and friends "TRY" to understand and support loved ones who suffer from this disease. I have learned my daughter is extremely "aware" "in tune" people's moods,body language even tone of voice and that effects her mood positively or otherwise. I have heard some positive stuff about DBT treatment and perhaps this is something you may want to look into. Hopefully your young adult cousin will accept help,so may with BPD do not and it will lead to more serious problems. GOOD ON YOU FOR TRYING TO DO YOUR BEST!..DON'T FORGET ABOUT YOURSELF AND THE REST OF YOUR FAMILY. I truly hope some of this helps. I solute you, everyone who is doing their best to be supportive to so many with this disease and

also Thank you to Dr.Phil and his team for this message board and support.

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Message Boards

Topic : Borderline Personality Disorder

http://bpdresources.net/best_support_groups/resources_bpd.htm

BPD and grieving

borderline and abuse

Borderline Personality Disorder

You are not alone

Borderline Personality Disorder

I am BPD

My Ex-Best Friend.

Hey

try to remember