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Topic : Borderline Personality Disorder

Number of Replies: 946
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Saturday, February 04, 2006, 07:59:09 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
If you or a loved one suffers from Borderline Personality Disorder, find encouragement and support, share advice, and connect with others dealing with this illness.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

February 6, 2006, 5:34 pm CST

Borderline Personality Disorder

Everyone it was real nice that Dr. Phil started a board for Borderline Personality disorder.We may fit in the bi polar but not quite and the depression but this is a whole new board for us. Can we treat each other with respect and kindness like on the other boards. As a borderline person i know i take things very personal. My doctor says i have a thin skin. I know he is right. Sometimes when someone says something that black and white thinking comes in to play. would anyone agree. We are all at different stages of this illness and each need support from each other. And listen and read what others are trying to give as suggestions. Not one thing works for everyone. I had a counsler tell me that DBT would cure me in 6 weeks guarenteed. I dont belive him. Not to say that it wont help me. I am to newly diagnosed to decide what will help. Please everyone can we be encouraging to one another and be able to tell our stories. Thats part of the healing and as borderline i cant express my thoughts very well at times. so i do other thngs that i am not proud of. But isnt this board for just that. our thoughts and upbuilding others???? Just my stupid opinion on the matter.  Talking Through Can we all work together????   

Blaze





 

 
February 6, 2006, 5:46 pm CST

Borderline Personality Disorder

Quote From: jkgc59

My mother has BPD.  3 years ago my brother walked out of her life and recently I had to do the same to protect myself.  I have 2 young daughters that are being effected by mothers behavior.  4 weeks ago I had to tell my mother that enough was enough and that we could no longer be a part of her life.  I asked her to stay away from my daughters - which was the hardest thing I had to do- as I was too afraid she would hurt them to hurt me. I just recived valentine cards in the mail from my mother for my daughters.  I am struggling with given them the cards or not as I asked her to stay out of my life.  Does anyone have any advise on how to deal with a parent with BPD?

please try to understand the disorder by doing as much research as you can on it. This will help you understand where your mother is coming from. and why she is dealing with you in certain ways. My parents quit talking to me because of my BPD. this has been so hard on me. It has made my symptoms worse. BPd people have difficulties in abandonment issues and by you and your brother leaving and the grandkids this no doubt has not helped her. Yet she is reaching out to you by sending those cards to the kids. Please get as much information as you can on this disorder because like what was said before if she had diabetes or cancer you would learn as much as you could and not run from her. Knowledge is Power. Please go to her and talk to her about your concerns with her mental illness and how it effects you and your brother. Let me know how it goes. This may not be the answer you wanted to hear but  i know the hurt from experience. and i wish my parents would try to understand instead of saying its all in my head. I ache as i type this to you cause it hurts so much. Its not easy being around a BPD person but be there for her and you wont regret it. She must be a decent person you have acouple of great kids sounds like.  

  

Blaze  

 
February 6, 2006, 8:48 pm CST

Borderline Personality Disorder

Saw my case worker from the mental health center  it went very well!!!!! :0)) 

He is going  to help me get in the DBT classes behavior change is what I need !! 

 
February 6, 2006, 8:51 pm CST

Borderline Personality Disorder

LOVE YOU ALL!!! 

SLEEP WELL AND HAVE A GREAT NIGHT SLEEP 

HUGGSSSSSS 

 
February 6, 2006, 9:00 pm CST

HUGS SWEETS :)

Quote From: blazes06

Some times i feel like Jerry. Always under the glass being looked at. The anger and rage that i have from this disorder is unbelievable. I get irritated very easy. and i too was abused as a child but nothing like what you went thru. I am sorry you had to go thru that.  

i cant express my self in words so i purge and Cut at times. Not a nice thought. Has anyone come up with a better way of coping then using these techniques????  

Hang in there lost girl. I am glad you found the board.  

THANKS FOR YOUR  KIND WORDS LOTS OF HUGSSS :)) 

  

your friend 

lostgirl 

 
February 7, 2006, 6:05 am CST

Borderline Personality Disorder

How is everyone doing today? I am feeling bad. My parents still are not taliking to me. I dont think they ever will. It seems to make the BPD worse and the major depression. it caused me to to purge two days in a riow. Its makes me literally sick. Anyone have any suggestions? Maybe I should look in to the DBT class. i dont know what to do. I am in congenitve therapy with my pschyciatrist. Anyway i hve this friend with BPD and the only time she calls is when she is in Crisis. It makes me feel bad. Thats not true friendship. one way anyway. oh well. hope all are doing good.  

 

Blaze  

 
February 7, 2006, 11:12 pm CST

bpd -ignorance

  

  I am involved with a woman ,  whom I have deep feelings for , has recently discovered that her daughter @ 15 yrs. has a  BPD . I am ignorant  of this illness and how best to understand it and be an effective  support person.   

  

  Unfortunately ,I have been involved in the inappropriate behavior  issues at their peak. When the daughter  was out of control to the point that violence to her mother and her self  were at hand . I interceded to prevent an unfortunate event from happening which could ruin either daughter and or mothers future . 

  

    Needless to say The daughter resents me because I have always been there when she gets out of control and puts herself and others at high risk. She gets combative ,verbally and physically,  with her mother and even with law enforcement.  

    I have stood in between the physical assaults and verbal assaults as she tries to over power her mother. In my approach to these issues I have tried to ask my self how much is normal teenage independence and how much is willful miss-behavior or where does the illness take over. 

  Still searching for the answers. 

    The daughter and mother are in intensive therapy and Mom is stressed to the max.  There are other mental health issues with an older son which she is trying to work with as well. 

     

  The daughter has spent several weeks in childrens physc. during her meltdown periods.   

    The she was tested by a physicologist within  the last two months and the final results were  

    made known this past week. 

   The mother is a professional in Speech Therapy and working on her Doctorate in Education and the inequities of education in the public sector. Mom has more than a full plate and yet her most important  oncern and responsibility is to her daughter and her wellness and safety. I have said all this  only to help understand how important her daughter is in mom's life . 

  

    I have had to be very cautious in contacting Mom as the daughter  gets belligerant to her mom. 

    

   It is my very limited understanding that persons with  BPD resent authority  of any kind and will  

  go off at any indication of authority over them. Is this correct ?      

  

       I would sincerely appreciate some enligtenment on this illness.  

  

    For those of you who suffer with BPD  my heart goes out  to you and those you hold dear.  I would be first to agrree we all need greater understanding and patience and prayers for strenght for the difficult days.  

   Thank you for any response in advance. 

  Have a brighter Day!!! 

   

 
February 8, 2006, 4:31 am CST

Borderline Personality Disorder

Quote From: looper

  

  I am involved with a woman ,  whom I have deep feelings for , has recently discovered that her daughter @ 15 yrs. has a  BPD . I am ignorant  of this illness and how best to understand it and be an effective  support person.   

  

  Unfortunately ,I have been involved in the inappropriate behavior  issues at their peak. When the daughter  was out of control to the point that violence to her mother and her self  were at hand . I interceded to prevent an unfortunate event from happening which could ruin either daughter and or mothers future . 

  

    Needless to say The daughter resents me because I have always been there when she gets out of control and puts herself and others at high risk. She gets combative ,verbally and physically,  with her mother and even with law enforcement.  

    I have stood in between the physical assaults and verbal assaults as she tries to over power her mother. In my approach to these issues I have tried to ask my self how much is normal teenage independence and how much is willful miss-behavior or where does the illness take over. 

  Still searching for the answers. 

    The daughter and mother are in intensive therapy and Mom is stressed to the max.  There are other mental health issues with an older son which she is trying to work with as well. 

     

  The daughter has spent several weeks in childrens physc. during her meltdown periods.   

    The she was tested by a physicologist within  the last two months and the final results were  

    made known this past week. 

   The mother is a professional in Speech Therapy and working on her Doctorate in Education and the inequities of education in the public sector. Mom has more than a full plate and yet her most important  oncern and responsibility is to her daughter and her wellness and safety. I have said all this  only to help understand how important her daughter is in mom's life . 

  

    I have had to be very cautious in contacting Mom as the daughter  gets belligerant to her mom. 

    

   It is my very limited understanding that persons with  BPD resent authority  of any kind and will  

  go off at any indication of authority over them. Is this correct ?      

  

       I would sincerely appreciate some enligtenment on this illness.  

  

    For those of you who suffer with BPD  my heart goes out  to you and those you hold dear.  I would be first to agrree we all need greater understanding and patience and prayers for strenght for the difficult days.  

   Thank you for any response in advance. 

  Have a brighter Day!!! 

   

 

I have your sympathy with this illness, I also have this severe illness the best advice I can give you is to get the work book called (walking on egg shells) living with a person who has BPD. Sooner you find out she has it now she can get help for it and don't have to live her adult life with going through this illness with no help. I also experience what her daughter is right now when I was in my teens back then they did not have the full knowledge of this illness. I went through my teens and through my adult having BPD and did not even know why I was feeling (Crazy) inside. I use to cut myself and burn myself with erasers when I was in my teens was in a girls home back then when I was 16. I was very violent throwing things and getting in fights and always running away drinking and drugging. The pain from the past and the abuse that went on as a child was so tense and severe. I was giving up to the ward of the state when I was 9 years old, and my real father sexual abuse me then my foster dad and sister did also. They use to beat me so bad I almost died from the beatings and the marks and bumps all over my body. I stuffed my anger for a long time and when I got in my teens my RAGE came off the surface and start drinking real heavy and doing drugs. My life was such a mess and was raped 3 times when I was in my teens, and the pain was so tense and start raging and slashing out to others. This is where BPD comes from the abuse as a child and my mom dumping off to the welfare office. I could go on and on but I'm not going to about my past you have a idea what I went through and this is just scrape of the surface what I went through. You can be there for her daughter and give her emotional support and help her through the pain inside. I don't know her history and why she is BPD, I know from experience they are abused and rejected as a child this is what causes BPD. I have study it and now reading a book (I hate you don't leave me) BPD are scared of rejection.

I struggle with BPD and now I'm seeing a case worker from the mental health center who is the best who works there and is helping me to change my behaviors. It's a behavioral change and learning new coping skills. BPD is the worse to treat and it's hard to live with a person who also has it because of their violent mood swings. A lot of BPD are lonely and have a lot of chaos in their life and they cut people out of their life. I hope this helps you trying to understand this severe illness that she has.   My case worker is going to  send my to DBT groups also for new coping skills  for BPD.  I'm going to send you some links for DBT and BPD.  

  

http://www.palace.net/llama/psych/dbt.html 

  

http://www.priory.com/dbt.htm 

  

http://www.nimh.nih.gov/publicat/bpd.cfm 

  

http://ivy_league0.tripod.com/rhyme_of_the_ancient_wanderer/id114.html 

  

http://bipolar.about.com/cs/menu_treat/a/aa031016.htm 

  

  

http://www.nj-act.org/dbt.html 

  

  

 

 

 
February 8, 2006, 4:36 am CST

Borderline Personality Disorder

Quote From: looper

  

  I am involved with a woman ,  whom I have deep feelings for , has recently discovered that her daughter @ 15 yrs. has a  BPD . I am ignorant  of this illness and how best to understand it and be an effective  support person.   

  

  Unfortunately ,I have been involved in the inappropriate behavior  issues at their peak. When the daughter  was out of control to the point that violence to her mother and her self  were at hand . I interceded to prevent an unfortunate event from happening which could ruin either daughter and or mothers future . 

  

    Needless to say The daughter resents me because I have always been there when she gets out of control and puts herself and others at high risk. She gets combative ,verbally and physically,  with her mother and even with law enforcement.  

    I have stood in between the physical assaults and verbal assaults as she tries to over power her mother. In my approach to these issues I have tried to ask my self how much is normal teenage independence and how much is willful miss-behavior or where does the illness take over. 

  Still searching for the answers. 

    The daughter and mother are in intensive therapy and Mom is stressed to the max.  There are other mental health issues with an older son which she is trying to work with as well. 

     

  The daughter has spent several weeks in childrens physc. during her meltdown periods.   

    The she was tested by a physicologist within  the last two months and the final results were  

    made known this past week. 

   The mother is a professional in Speech Therapy and working on her Doctorate in Education and the inequities of education in the public sector. Mom has more than a full plate and yet her most important  oncern and responsibility is to her daughter and her wellness and safety. I have said all this  only to help understand how important her daughter is in mom's life . 

  

    I have had to be very cautious in contacting Mom as the daughter  gets belligerant to her mom. 

    

   It is my very limited understanding that persons with  BPD resent authority  of any kind and will  

  go off at any indication of authority over them. Is this correct ?      

  

       I would sincerely appreciate some enligtenment on this illness.  

  

    For those of you who suffer with BPD  my heart goes out  to you and those you hold dear.  I would be first to agrree we all need greater understanding and patience and prayers for strenght for the difficult days.  

   Thank you for any response in advance. 

  Have a brighter Day!!! 

   

you sound like a pretty nice guy. To put up with what you have put up with. I was diagnosed in may with BPD. i was very angry at first since i didnt know what it involved. Now i am handling it better. i am not sure about the authority thing. But suffers with this disorder like myself have abandonment issues, dont feel validated in our feelings and or have been abused in some way. i cant express how i am feeling. Lots of anger. so i cut or purge to get those feelings out. sorry if thats too graffic.  

does her daughter do any of that? going under mental health web sites and finding out as much as you can about this disorder is a big help. i know it helped me. i know when i blow up then after its like nothing happened. This is part of the disorder. Does she do that? From what i have read its important to have counseling. They have a new therapy DBT especially for borderlines. may help. i dont know i am doing congenitive therapy. But i have to want to do it.  

as a person with BPD i dont have a problem with authority maybe it has something to do of feeling out of control. and not being able to control her envirement. anyway you are a sweet person to be so supportive. keep up the good work. I have a husband that is very supportive. thank goodness. i am not be around to tell this to you. if i didnt mention it before cant remember ones with BPD also have abandonment issues weather real or imagined. mine were real. i was adopted out at age 4 and felt abandoned my whole life. then my adoptive parents gave up on me because of the illness. that just tripled my abandonment issues. anyway i hope all works out for you and your relationship and you step daughter? its a roller coaster ride that wont end. But there are good momnets in between.  

Blaze  

 
February 8, 2006, 4:38 am CST

Borderline Personality Disorder

Lost Girl are  you out there???? i am early riser. Write me any way on how your feeling. would like to know.
 
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