I cannot thank you enough for sharing explicit information that is so crucial to this campaign.
This is NOT gross in any way. A child with any physical or psychological illness or difficulty is in no way gross. The constipation is something I was not aware of, but this is another weapon in the fight against child abuse. Any and all information is so critical and crucial.
The child grabbing or touching their own private areas is a very significant sign, which I have seen in an abused child many years ago. There was not doubt in my mind at the time that this was her case, and my instincts were correct, even before I became a father myself.
This is nothing to be ashamed of, and sharing this vital information is not only an act of bravery and concern, but of unselfishness, and a sincere desire to reach out and to contribute to this cause at whatever costs. Thank you lablefree.
A child, in my estimation has issues in their little minds that are annoying them and this brings about their responses:
- Touching or "grabbing" to me would indicate an awareness of something they should not be aware of at their age.
- A reaction to a physical feeling of discomfort or other similar feelings in the private area that to me would be similar to "scratching an itch" in a literal sense, as from a mosquito bite, etc.
- A curiosity and response to a psychological shock or trauma if you will.
- Example: If a child had surgery for an appendicitis for instance, at some point they will discover a scar which is unusual or foreign to them, and at some point the scar tissue will become annoying and the will grab, touch, scratch, rub or what have you.
- Maybe even feelings of shame or that they are "bad" in my estimation could cause such a reaction.
I could be wrong about some of these points, but I don't just pull things out of nowhere, especially in a situation such as this. There is a basis for these thoughts, and I do think carefully through these things.
Look at ALL of these signs carefully and warnings!
- Look your child in the eyes DAILY! Is there something there, or something missing or unusual?
- Communicate with them, a friendly talk. Talk to them from the best friend role; on their level. Anyone can talk like a parent. But we must learn to treat our children as our best friends.
- Are they fidgety, do they look away? Especially when you are talking to them about the touching, etc. Know your child.
- Look for LITTLE signs.
- Bags under their eyes. To me this could indicate they are not sleeping enough which could be from someone keeping them awake against your knowledge, and/or losing sleep over the strife and worry and pain or nightmares. Or maybe they cannot sleep for fear of that perpetrator; never knowing when they might approach.
- Constipation. Or any noticeable changes in the physical functioning of the digestive system. Even complaints of itching and discomfort. Pay close attention.
- Tell them the facts as lablelfree has described. Teach them the difference in a good or acceptable touch, and a bad touch. And be sure to consider the subtle things such as: Is it OK for a total stranger to touch your child's hair, their face? NO! This should fall into the lines of "stay away from strangers".
Please pay close attention to this next bullet point which I copied from labelfrees post.
- "Bad touch would be someone touching you in a private area and telling the child this is to "TEACH YOU" for when you get older....Don't tell....this is (OUR SECRET) often then bribing the child with money, candy, and or gifts or beatings or shame.....or rejection....
The gifts, the secretes, and any head games, the rejection has not really occurred to me as a tactic of the perpetrator. Which they will use guilt tactics such as....."You are going to make me cry"... or "I thought you liked me", or "I thought we were friends", on and on.
Scare tactics are used as well. Threatening to harm the child or their parents, or siblings, etc. Things such as "If you don't........., then it will be your fault if you sister gets hurt", or "if you tell, then I will hurt your mother".
These people will go to any lengths to avoid being detected. It's like a virus on your computer. How much time, money and effort do you think you spend on protecting your identity, your money and assets?
How much time and effort and money to you invest in your child's protection?
Fathers....Do you spend more time on the golf course than with your family and children? Then stop it NOW. If you need that much stress relief, see a doctor, and learn how to spend valuable time with your wife and children. In many cases of child abuse where the parents or guardians are not involved....that's just it, they are not involved in the child's life. They are too busy drinking, going out, working long hours, etc.
BALANCE is my next buzz word. But AWARENESS is the key word.
Look at labelfree's post concerning the "CODE WORD(s)". Do you have an established code word
with your child or children? If not, their an imbalance in this family already! This is something that has been taught and recognized for a long time now.
Read labelfrees last paragraph. This is so crucial. Make sure that your child understands, from their level of comprehension and intellect the dangers that exists, and the importance of keeping the code word a secret. And don't let it be something obvious, like the child's pet's name.
Pedophiles do their homework too! And hear me out on this one. They say to understand a criminal you must think like one. There is no way I could even begin to think the horrible things that goes on in the mind of a pedophile, but you have to think in the way of tactics to a certain degree.
IE, if I wanted to lure this child away from this crowd of people because I know it is only a thought process that will enable me to gain information to help children like her, what would I do?
These are the kinds of thought processes I am referring to. Most people should understand this, but we have to be careful.
- So parents, think of it that way, and look at all of the possibilities. What are these perpetrators looking for? Victims!
- Is your child vulnerable? Any child is vulnerable, especially unattended and unaware.
- Are you doing all that you can to protect your child? I do not know, but I am certain of this, these child victims are taken by surprise out of their homes, off of the streets, off of playgrounds, malls, stores, you name it.
- GOD has given you a very special and fragile little person to take care of and to be responsible for. You have to put yourself second to their safety and best interests.
- If we are going to STOP this madness, these violent crimes against our children, we are going to have to be parents, protectors, providers, teachers, and we are going to have to be responsible.
MORE TO COME..................................
