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December 27, 2005, 8:09 am PST
I love those 5-year old granddaughters
Quote From: hiitsmeI have just read all the wonderful responses to my last post. A lot of very supportive people here has made me feel comfortable enough to open up some. I felt a real connection to Jerry758 since She/He is also new. and I think is close to my age. I turned 57 this past November. I have been divorced from my last husband since 1989. I have a long and disappointing history of relationships and love gone really wrong, so I have given up on that. I have lived alone and supported myself ever since, that is till this past May. The owners of the company that I worked at the past 7 years, sold their business in January. Long story but new owners and I did not work out. Iost my job, tried so hard to find work, but I guess it wasn't meant to be. Lost my apartment in May, and had to move in with my daughter, her husband, and my 2 grandchildren. I share a bedroom with my 5 year old granddaughter. Although I love them all, losing my independence, being totally dependent for everything is very hard. Also when I lost my job I lost my medical Insurance, along with my medication for clinical depression. (I have a long history). Although My son in law makes a comfortable living for his family, there really isn't enough to support me very well. They couldn't keep up my car insurance, so my car has been registered as inopratable. So I don't go anywhere, just stay in my room mostly. Although my daughter is not really mean to me, she has her own issues that are not very positive to my situation. Anyway all of this makes me feel so trapped, and hopeless. I know that the chemical imbalance in my brain due to the sudden stopping of my medication is causing some of the hopeless thoughts, but knowing it and stopping the thoughts is two different things. Anyway I don't think there is anything anyone can do to really change my situation, but I am already finding that just talking about it here, and knowing someone hears, really helps. Thank to all of you that takes the time to read this. Blessings to all. From Me My daughter and her two kids (Hailey (granddaughter) 5 and hunter (grandson) 1) were here for a little over a week prior to Christmas. Five year olds can really be a joy to be around. Yes, I know, they can also get frustrating at times. I am on my second marriage - first lasted about 17 years and I am now about that far into my second one. I may just not be good for more than that as this one is having serious problems. I have a stepdaughter that is still here with us (25 years old), and it seems like instead of being 'jerry and karen . . . and deann', it is 'karen and deann . . . and jerry'. I am just feeling more and more alone in this marriage. . . . and it seems that when we argue (which is rare because they just get too intense), we just don't end them well. Dr phil says that is one of the stringest predictors of how a relationship will last, is how you end your arguments. We just don't have much that we do together and that seems ok with karen - after all she has deann, but it just leaves me with a huge void.
Sounds like you have a lot of issues you are dealing with. Yes, we have to be sensitive to the fact that our children have lives and priorities of their own. We don't always agree with them, but we still have to respect them as the adults that they have become.
After the end of my first marriage, I felt VERY hopeless. I know that is not a fun place to be. All I know to say is 'hang in there, things can get better'. They did for me . . . and even with what I have now, they are much better than they were at that time.
I wish you well and sincerely hope things do improve for you in whatever ways they can. Meanwhile, try to enjoy those grandkids. I'm sure you are already doing what you can to help around the house - hopefully your daughter and son-in-law appreciate your efforts there.
Wishing you well - Jerry
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