Messages By: joycers54

Even though I am a woman, I have to say I agree with Todd. Girls it won't do you any good in the long run to voice your hurt feelings on the net, ESPECIALLY when you use the person's name. Have you ever heard of the old saying, "sticks and stones may break your bones but words will haunt you for the rest of your life". Is that what you want done to someone else, to ruin his/her repuatation at your own expense? And look at it this way, if he is a jerk and you want to ruin his name, you're only lowering yourself to his level, do you want that too? Sure I've had men that hurt me over the years and the one incident I remember where I took revenge was, when I find out he was dating my girlfriend and she found out he was dating me, we both took action and made him a big batch of chocolate chip cookies AND put ex-lax in them and he was off of work for two days!  After getting hurt by different men through the years, I finally figured it out, "Men aren't worth it."  So there you have it! 

Yes, I think pretty people get most of the breaks. You consider if an overweight person applies for a job with all the qualifications and a pretty person applies for the same job but she/he doesn't have the required qualifications, the pretty person will get the job. They get the better raises, and get better treatment.  BUT I do know that ALL people whether they are pretty, ugly, overweight or what ever they look like ALL have their own personal problems. In this story where the pretty girl goes and have plastic surgery just to keep her man, that is wrong. He's not worth it! I would have left him because no matter what you do to better yourself , hoping it would make him stay, it won't work. Those kind of men will always wander. So get rid of him! There are better men out there who will treat you a whole lot better with dignity and respect!

Dr. Phil, I am utterly shocked about what goes on in this world especially to "our" children. This world has become so evil and ugly it just depresses me so, to hear about children being either sexually, mentally, emotionally OR physically abused almost every day  I hear on the news. I do believe that our governemt should make the laws tougher on this kind of  sick people. I have a son who is in law-enforcement and he arrests men/womean for doing things like that to a child. It's horrible and sick!  Why won't our government make a stand against people like that? Why aren't there stiffer laws? The one assumption I can come up with is because there are judges who themselfs could be pedofiles or there are others that might be in our governement.  So if this guy is found guilty;  the court system should send him and everyone else like him to prison for life or on a deserted island where they could never have access to children again!  Once a pedofile always a pedofile, there is no cure! Then the government could waste more money by dropping them food on this island by airplane.

I watched the first show and saw how Enza acted and I saw how the mother acted too. I think there are many hidden problems in the relationship between mother and daughter. I think the mother brought many men to her home and her daughter stood on the side lines watching. The daughter seems to be repeating what her mother has done in the past. I was a single mom with sons between the ages of 6-8 and I NEVER brought men home. I never dated. My main concern was the welfare of my sons! I devoted and sacrificed for my sons and it paid off well. They are both awesome providers, husbands and fathers in their families. I know people make mistakes in their lives and sadly to say the children pick up on it and it's sometimes carried with them for the rest of their lives until someone steps in (like Dr. Phil) to help and to teach the parent and child. I hope both daughter, mother AND grandmother will learn a lot and will all pull out of this mess! Again, Enza needs to stand back and mind her own business! She is doing an injustice to the daughter by her pent up anger and harsh words towards the daughter's mother!  May God Bless Them!

Dr. Phil, I've not had a date in over 25 years. I divorced in 1981 and became a single parent of two boys. Sure I wanted to date but never had the time. I devoted and sacrificed my time towards my sons and it paid off with a positive effect. I'm proud to say my sons are excellent providers, great fathers and good husbands! I never wanted to bring a man/men into my home and have my sons witness heartache or whatever.  They were too important in my life. I still think about dating but I wouldn't know HOW to go about it because I'm an old-fashioned woman of 57 and I still believe that the guy should ask me out. Now, I don't know if I will accept or not, because it took me, almost, a year to talk to my neighbor who is a single guy although he is young enough to be my son. I don't believe in robbing the cradle either. Nope I think I"m too old to be trying to re-train a man. I would just like to meet a nice, friendly, honest, sense of humor guy who believes in God and just have him has a companion. It would be fun to have someone to go out to eat with or just go driving in the mountains. But you know, I have this fear of men. You hear so many negative things about guys on the news. How more and more are pedophiles, they marry someone and put a large life insurance policy on the wife and then kill them and the negative list goes on. So I guess I'll just sit back and keep dreaming for that special kind of guy!

I know exactly HOW Linda feels about her DIL because I pretty much am going through the same thing with my own DIL.   I'm so sorry for your hurt and pain you WILL have to continue to go through Linda, I really am. I know how difficult it is for you because, I too, have the same problems with my DIL.  May God Bless You and Give you Comfort because one day as Dr. Phill said, it's going to come back and bite Deanne in the butt!  We don't know how or when.....but when it happens us grandmothers who are in the same situations will know. All I do now for my DIL is pray for her.  Good Luck!

I am a mother-in-law myself and I have a daughter-in-law who manipulates my son and grandchildren. She followed him where he was stationed and they married w/o telling her family and me because she was hoping that when he got out of the service, her parents would give her a big wedding. We did find out and were very upset about the whole thing. What I'm trying to say is, I've had to learned the hard way just to keep my mouth shut even though you don't agree. My son is not the son I raised, he changed completely when he married her. I've never used foul language because I know it can kill someone's spirit. Because you are so angry and hurting so much now, I would just stay away from the wedding because if you both can't come to terms with each other, you'll both have hard feelings at the wedding.  It's going to be more difficult when the grandchildren comes along, I know I've been there. I never got to see my seven grandchildren until they started school and it hurt like someone tore my heart out. I could not believe that my son would hurt me so much. My friends over the years have told me, that he will learn. Let him make his mistakes. When I became ill and he found out, it shooked him up and he and I do have a relationship now which I can count on him. I never ask his wife if I can see the grandkids, if I do I always ask him and he will let me.  But like I said, just stay away.............let them make their mistakes...and hopefully your son will come around. I'm sorry you have to through this. Again, my advice is hold your tongue, don't use foul language because that sure doesn't get you anywhere. Even if she does, don't lower yourself to her level. God Bless.

I understand the pain you are feeling about your mother. I had always been scared to death of my mom up till she died. She was the controller, manipulater and a very angry person in my life! Me and my siblings never knew what kind of mood she would be in. She could fly off the handle quicker then you could spit! I, am now 58 and my mom died about 10 years ago. We could never show our mom our feelings around her, if we cried she would slap us or say, I'll give you something to cry about. I knew my mom never loved me, as a young child till she died she would alwyas tell me, "you're so much like your father,  and I hate him"! I've never been additcted to drugs or alchol because when I look back I believe God was watching over me but my two younger siblings are into drugs and alcohol.  I guess the only addiction I have is eating too much especially when I want to feel comforted. I worry about your kiids and wish that there was someother way, that Dr. Phil could have removed the kids from their grandmother because she just might take it out on them for having to watch them for 30-90 days or however long it will take to get you back on your feet. Maybe he will have someone drop in and check on the children, I hope so!  May Gob Bless you both in your recovery!