Messages By: judypoody

Hey there.  I have never been on any of Dr Phils message boards although I have been on Oprahs from time to time.  Just had my third baby.... he is now 10 weeks old.  I have been married for 9 years and have another two sons, one who is 8 and one who is 4.  I just want to connect with other mums out there who also juggle working outside the home aswell.  I go back to work after Xmas and am dreading the thought as it was hard enough when I had two children.  If anyone out there has any good advice I would really appreciate it.  It will make the next few months easier to relax with my new baby instead of worrying!!!  I am mailing all the way from Scotland.... but if there is one thing every mum out there has in common, it is that it is the hardest job in the world.  Right? 

Hi there, friend.  

Many, many thanks for the message you left me on the board.  I think your advice sounds just right and you sound like you know what you are talking about.  I do some of these things but just hearing it from someone else makes me want to try a bit harder to get it all down to a fine art!  Your idea of planning out meals etc and then only buying what you need - and then having it when you need it is not something I do already, but next shopping day, I`m going to give it a go.  I will let you know how it goes....  Maybe some of my problem is that when I get everything for myself and my three kids ready the night before (which takes preparation and time), I suppose I get a bit annoyed that I am doing it to help myself in the morning get them ready and me ready for work...  but WHY am I doing it all when I have a husband who has a pair of hands also.  He leaves earlier in the morning than us...  so I suppose he thinks he doesn`t have to think about all that needs done for everyone else.  Well, I think that might be another problem, eh!  However, I sure do appreciate your help and advice and please, if you think of any other wee ideas... don`t hesitate to write them here.  All ideas greatly appreciated.  Thanks again...  

   

* Judy  

Hey there....    

   

Well, what can I say... I looked at the organisers on the site you told me about, and I have these in my sons wardrobes.  So I emptied them and sorted them into days of the week and there, I am sorted from Monday to Friday with their clothes.  Only thing I could think of that would be a hinderance would be that here.... in bonny Scotland, the weather is so changeable the kids could be wearing shorts and t-shirts one day and heavy clothes for rain and hail the next.  But, apart from that..... I just love using these organisers like this.  Such a simple idea - but sometimes its the simple things that you think of last.  At least I do.  With the three kids, hubby and house and just `life in general` you can miss the simple things when life moves at such a speed.....  Hope you are doing ok `Cenobia`.  Write again when and if you can.....  Thanks again!  Judy   

Hey there, Holland Mum, from Scotland Mum.....  

   

You sound like you have things worked out pretty well... and the fact that your husband and kids help out is fantastic...  not everyone is as blessed with that help.  However, congratulations on getting back into the workplace and I hope the added hours are what you wanted.    

   

As for finding time for yourself...  perhaps if you sat and listed the sort of things you would like to do in your free time.... then you can start to work out how to obtain that precious time.  I find it hard at the moment to find the time - but I have made a start as I know what I would do with it if I had it!!!!  I want to do a bit of drawing, write letters to friends, go for walks (alone) and visit friends I have not visited for a good while.  I list the things I want to do and strive to tick them off my list as I do them, even if it takes me a hundred or so years to do them all.  Everytime I get one thing done, it keeps me going..... the list will never end as I keep adding things as they come up.  I suppose good time management is the key, and help from the family...... they have to understand it is important for you to have your `alone` time to get your head around life, etc!  Of course, I don`t have the magic answer that will get you loads of time alone, but maybe someone out there has a better suggestion.  I hope you find what works for you...... let us know on this message board.  I think every mum in the world would love the answer to this one!!!!  Good luck friend!!!!  

   

Judy :-)  

Hi.  I read your message and it dawned on me that you were making a valid point.  You know, about having the time and not realising it.  I don`t mean I am blind to the fact that half the day is mine to do with as I want, but that there are moments where we do have time and maybe we just have to be aware of them.  I am very lucky that most nights, my three boys sleep all night (even the baby) so I am not a mum who needs to sleep during the day.  I remember those days well, as my first son was up all night and I had to sleep during the day when I could.  But, when my baby is awake during the day, I get on with the housework as best I can, even if he is in his bouncy chair beside me and then when he takes a nap - I will make a coffee, read a magazine or book draw, or whatever I like.  I know this is a luxury for some mums and it doesn`t always work out like this is the baby is crying all day and just doesn`t settle.....  no housework gets done and no time to myself, but we must try to stay positive and remember.... one day we will have lots of time to ourselves and even have moments when we are sad the kids are gone.  God bless all mums and dads who try their hardest whatever life throws at them.  It is the hardest job in the world, and we aren`t perfect, but I think the majority of us do a bloomin good job.  God bless us all tonight and forever.