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Messages By: kalie1000

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worried
July 23, 2005, 1:29 am CDT

Hey all

Hey there everyone. Glad the board is finally back. I've really been missing it, and going through withdrawals. Been missing talking to all of you. My last week has been a week from hell. My roommate went to Sudbury saying she was driving a transport down there to drop off a load, and coming back with hay. The boys were supposed to be staying with her ex and had already been there a couple of days. Well the day she left (Sunday) I get a call from him saying she was supposed to get them yesterday (Sat) and if I don't come get them he's calling CAS. I ended up going to get them even though I had little money, gas or food. First couple of days were o.k. Then food was really low, boys less helpful and mom didn't come back Wed like she was supposed to. The one son took off once 1 day and twice the next day. Police were involved, CAS called and kids taken into custody even though mom was coming home tonight. They told CAS about being pushed down the stairs and hit. Luckily I've talked to the mother, hay is supposed to come tomorrow morning, she doesn't blame me for anything (I'm not the one who called CAS and it's been made clear to her by others). There's also talk that she may be moving to Sudbury, but she says no. I really don't know what the heck is going on anymore. There's other B.S. going on too as in I've heard threats from both sides towards the other - not directly to the other but being told what they plan to do to the other. On top of this, I'm completely out of my meds now, and am also sick. Went to the hospital today. Not sure but probably bronchitis. Just know my throat hurts like ****, entire body hurts especially neck shoulders and hips, chest is tight, ear cannals sore and running a fever. They gave me a couple of antibiotics and a script.

I am very happy that the board is back (although it's going to take some getting used to) and glad to be able to talk to you all again.

 
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July 23, 2005, 11:39 pm CDT

Schizophrenic Son

I tried to reply to you once before, but I guess it didn't work. I can only imagine the hell that you and your family have been through. It must have been hell during the time that your son was gone and you didn't know how he was doing. I am happy that the people at the party were understanding and able to remain calm, because as you said, that would have escalated the situation much quicker. It is unfortunate that your husband jumped in the pool with your son, and lucky that neither was hurt at that point. Although I do see his point where he was angry. Destruction of property, especially something you worked hard for doesn't just hurt financially. I can't imagine the terror you went through, not to mention the hurt you must have felt when you son held you with the knife. It is lucky you were able to escape from you. And the horror you must have felt seeing your son injured when they were finally able to take control of him. I don't think they did him any good by putting him in jail though. I do agree that he needs to be accountable for his actions. Obviously, he was not in his right mind when he did what he did. I am happy to hear that you remained by his side. I guess the reason I feel this way is I'm an R.N. at the jail here. I see so many of the inmates with mental illnesses, mental delays, illiteracy, horrific events in their lives. Some of them just don't belong there. This isn't to say that I condone any of their behavior or say they are not accountable. Only that I feel they need more than to be just locked up. The idea of jail is supposed to be rehabilitation, and for some being locked up and punished just isn't going to do it. The origin of the problem causing their behavior needs to be fixed for any changes to occur. I think the best thing you did is get him out of there and into a mental facility where he could get the help he so obviously needs. He may be there a long time as it may take a long time to get him stabilized/treated etc. He may not be happy about it now, but someday when he is healthier and maybe even able to have a productive life because of it, he will look back and thank you for it. The best gift you can give him at this time is your love and support. When he is released it is very important that he continue taking his meds as prescribed and going to any other therapy, councelling, psychiatrist treatment that he needs. If he is not compliant, and incidents occur, you may very well have to call the police/get medical help. Although it is hard, in the long run, it is really for his own good, and you must keep safety for all in mind as well. Sorry to hear that your husband is not so supportive and is in a way making this even harder on you. I'm assuming this is not his biological child? Although I do understand where he is coming from. People with a mental illness can be very difficult to deal with and you guys have been through some serious traumatic events. It is hard for many people to understand about mental illnesses. Also, I want you to remember to take care of yourself. This is extremely important. You must take care of yourself and keep yourself healthy if you are going to help anybody else. You must make time for yourself. Even if it's only a 15 minute bubble bath. If you want to talk one on one, I am always willing. My e-mail/MSN is kalie1000@hotmail.com.

 

Kalie

 
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July 24, 2005, 12:01 am CDT

Beka

I'm not on my meds due to lack of money. No, meds are not free in Canada. I do have medical coverage, but the way mine works is that you pay first, send in the receipts and then I have one plan that covers 90 percent and another that covers 80 percent. I have two plans because my coverage on one runs out before the end of the year (there is a limit per year of what they will reimburse), and the little left that the plan won't cover I can send to the other. Unfortunately it is still pouring. Feels more like a killer hurricane or tornado or something like that. My roommate is back in town but I haven't seen her, hardly heard from her. No hay yet. Apparently not upset with me at all and says she's not planning to move out and leave me and go to Sudbury. Of course she keeps saying hay is coming too. She's supposed to be here tomorrow morning, and hay too. Of course when I was talking to her I forgot I have a councelling session tomorrow. Also supposed to be going blueberry picking with my friend Shelley in the morning, but she's calling me at 9 to wake up, so I can tell her then. Tonight I had a cop at my house because they wanted my statement about the incident the boys told her about being pushed down the stairs and punched (not sure of the whole truth there). If this goes to court, I may have to testify. Oh, I did say the boys were taken by CAS right. Two in a foster home, the other with his grandfather. Boys couldn't stay here because the one was told to pack because she was taking them to Sudbury for a week. Still sick too. I just want this whole nightmare to end. Many say I'm better if my roommate leaves or I kick her out (not that she's been here), and in some ways they may be right. But on the other hand although at times she hurts me deeply, she can be an absolute sweetheart, takes care of me, tells me she loves me and is supportive. I don't want to be abandoned and have had a hard time in an empty house, mostly due to not knowing what's going on with the hay, with her, or anything else. I don't want the problems back, I just want the support and not to be abandoned. I just want this hellish nightmare to end, and soon. I'm still planning to go back to work beginning of August, but right now all I want to do is curl up in a little ball in my room. Luckily so far I haven't done that and I've gotten some housework done. I'm praying that everyone else is doing well.

I'm so sorry things are not working out with you and Matt. Hang in there.

 

Kalie

 
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July 24, 2005, 12:20 am CDT

Storm

LOL. Loved the chil pill. Maybe if I were to enlarge one about 100 times that size, slip enough of it into the food or water of everyone around me (I get the largest portion), then maybe things will improve for me. What do you think?
 
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July 24, 2005, 12:52 am CDT

Hello

Just wanted to say hello to everyone I have not spoken to yet. Welcome back to familiar faces, and welcome to the board to newbies. Hopefully things will improve. I take it we have to go to our profile everytime we log on if we want to have a profile pic? Mine didn't even work tonight. At least not from the looks of it. And why is it that every time I post a message, it puts me right back at the beginning again, instead of where I left off reading. It's a pain in the *** and time consuming to get back to the posts that I was reading.

Anyways, it's almost 4 a.m. and I have to get up and 9, so I'm going to go lie in bed and read and hopefully eventually I'll get tired. Right now I feel ready to start the next day, and it's not even hear yet.

Boy I feel like a real whiner and complainer right now. LOL. Guess I'll have to work on that one. Hey, I get a whole hour with my counceller tomorrow I whine bitch and complain. I hate change, and I hate conflict and I hate people hurting. Oh well, guess I've complained enough for one night. LOL. I'll be absolutely shocked if my roommate actually does bring hay tomorrow.

God bless you all and talk to you later.

Kalie

 
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July 24, 2005, 9:21 am CDT

Kathy

Sorry to hear that you are going through so may problems. I hope things work out between the two of you. good luck with the losing weight thing. I've lost a little the past few days, but it has to do with stress and what's going on - not being able to eat, sleep etc. and not anything else, because I don't think I've done any more exercise than before, and that's what I need to do is get more active. I've gotten my upstsairs of the house pretty clean though. Best of luck.

 

Kalie

 
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July 24, 2005, 9:28 pm CDT

Dr. Phil Show

Hey..did everyone see that Dr. Phil is doing a show on mental illness? Everyone should submit that they would go on the show.

I still think there should be a weight loss/mental illness show. To help us all feel better about our total selves. If you agree, send in your thoughts and story. :o)

Yeah, I happened to see that just a bit before the message boards were up. I didn't exactly send in my story, but did send in a reply saying that I thought they should do a show on bipolar and why etc. etc. I think it's a great idea. Hopefully if enough of us respond there, and we get that letter in, something will come of it.

 

Kalie

 
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July 24, 2005, 9:37 pm CDT

Kathy

You're WHY post definitely put a smile on my face. I think things may actually start looking up and easing up for me soon. Keep your fingers crossed for me :)

 

 
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July 24, 2005, 9:46 pm CDT

Tammy

I will go sign up will let you know if I hear anything

Tam

Don't worry, I understand you're frustration with the board. You've shown many times before that you care, so I don't worry about that.  (Although I do tend to be paranoid and afraid of rejection which is really showing with my roommate right now LOL). I don't know if there really is any advice anybody can give me on how to fix things, since a lot of it is out of my control. I've tried to do damage control for my roommate as much as I can as far as the cops and CAS is concerned. I know she can be a good mom. I do however wish she'd get rid of her new boyfriend, which she is getting more serious with. Again, tonight he crossed the line with me. I actually called my neighbour to come over. I think all I can do is ride things out. Once I get my meds back (hopefully some of them tomorrow) then that will also help things. Glad to hear you've signed up for that show too. I haven't heard any response from them at all, but they do say they don't respond to everyone.

Kalie

 
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July 24, 2005, 9:54 pm CDT

Faith

I'm struggling a little tonight....my mood is starting to spiral down and the sad thing is that I don't even care. I'm tired of fighting my own emotional turmoil. Maybe it's o.k. to be sad and lonely?

Sorry to hear you're having a rough time of things right now. I know how it feels. I've been in a severe depression for the last little while due to everything going on. Also after her boyfriend left, my roommate locked herself in her room and basically didn't want to talk to/see anybody. She didn't see why I'd be upset since she's the one who's had her children taken. I don't think she realizes the hell I've been through. This left me feeling really rejected, even though I know it probably wasn't me (she'd just received a phone call from her son which did not go very well I guess)  and try to remember the hard time she's going through. I try to convince myself that I'll get through this like everything else, and have done plenty of whining and complaining. Sometimes I really don't think I'd care if something were to happen to me. Keep your chin up and remember, there's always a brighter day ahead. When I got home from blueberry picking my roommate was upstairs and we actually talked a little (not as in discussing anything, just actual words were exchanged.) Take care of yourself. You need and deserve it.

 

Kalie

 

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