Messages By: kriscerone

Quote From: raymom5

I have known a few people like this in the past.  I have a sister-in-law who is classic.  She has tried to make drama in our entire family ever since I have known her.  She thrives on it.  Some people love to do this crap.  Thank God my husband, kids, and I know better.

Quote From: zadora

I am a grandmother and I do not see my grandkids at all, due to differences that cannot be resolved.  I do love my grandkids very much.  However, I resent the remark about "needy" grandmothers.  After working for many years, raising kids and finally getting some time to enjoy life, is there REALLY anyone out there who enjoys  or NEEDS more of the same, as in dirty diapers, snotty noses, whining and crying and raising your childrens children?  Time with grandkids should be quality time, in my opinion, time to laugh and play and have fun..isn't this what gandmothers are supposed to do?  As a child I went to VISIT with my grandmother for a few hours.  We had a ball.  Then I went home.  Any problems or responsibilities related to me were left to MY parents..NOT my grandparents.  I see many parents these days who are more than happy to drop off the kids at Grandma's for days, or overnights, as if this was HER "JOB",  and go their merry way.  A friend of mine had a hip replaced...the day she got home from the hospital, she got her two year old granddaughter dumped on her overnight so the parents could go to a party.  If she refuses, then there is the threat of not ever seeing the grandkids, so she goes along to get along.  Maybe I sound bitter, but I don't think I am....I  wanted to have my grandkids in my life and, at the same time, have a life of my own.  I do not consider myself "needy" at all..I get along just fine without them, though I did not want it that way.  One has to KNOW their grandkids to be close to them...I don't know them and probably never will.  The "price" of knowing them was way too high for me, so I made my choice and I am content with it.  As for "power",  my dil has none over me, nor does my son, because I do not give it to them.....I do what I want to do.  At my age, why would I even want to spend time with people who do not wish me well..that is stupid, imo, whether they are related or not.  If the parents have some axe to grind with the grandparents, the grandkids will grow up resenting the grandparents because of what they hear and see at home.  Too bad..in the meanwhile, I have other things to do that I enjoy doing.  What happened to respecting your parents and your spouse's parents, if as nothing else, as worthy human beings?  The price I chose to "pay" is very high, but I believe my self-respect and personal integrity is way worth it.  I will never allow myself to be disrespected, talked down to, or abused in any way, shape or form...the only choice I had in this matter was to stay away from them.  So be it.  I suppose that I wanted to do this post to point out to grandparents that there is another workable option besides dissolving into a blubbering idiot when the grandkids are taken away out of spite and revenge..that option is to say, "ok, your choice..bye, now", and to get on with YOUR life.