Messages By: lisaintn

I understand that the first couple was incessantly bickering and needed to cut each other some slack over the little things.  However, I dont know many women(other then Robin apparently)who wouldnt get annoyed over grass-mud-snow-dirt-whattheheckever-getting tracked in all over their freshly washed floor.  Especially considering all one has to do is take off their shoes to solve this problem. 

I symapthize with this particular probelm as where I live(not Southern Ca like the doc and his wife) we get all kind of weather.  Every season something new is getting tracked in all over my white floor.  Which, btw, was a very bad decision on my part.  In the future I will be staying away from white linoleum!  tehe  Do I take it personally when the kids or hubby get mud and dirty snow all over?  Well yes!  I have to say that I do!  And the reason is IM the one who cleans the blasted floors!  Im also the one that has said, only about a million times, to please take off your shoes and place them on the shoe mat which is right by the doors and easily accessable.  It isnt rocket science, after all.  Its simply, in my view, a matter of consideration and respect.   

Hearing how Robin doesent care if clay(or whatever else)gets tracked in all over her floors had my eyebrows raised.  Had me wondering if she didnt have help with the housework.  Which, as the docs wife,  I would certainly hope that she did!  Personally, I would think something wasnt quite right if the doc didnt get some help in for Robin at least once a week.  But the point is, I dont know ANY woman who would be just fine and dandy with their husbands or children tracking in all sorts of nonsense all over the clean floors.  Now perhaps this is just me?  Are there actual women(besides Robin that is)who honestly wouldnt care if their hubbys tracked nonsense in all over the house when simply taking off their shoes would avoid the whole mess?  I dont any personally.  Are there any out in cyber land?   

Just curious!    :) 

UMMM...it sounds silly for me to say this I know, but Poly, like Swinging, ISN'T for everybody. It's NOT supposed to be! It takes rare individuals to be able to do what we do with any amount of security. If ur marriage is insecure no amt of either lovestyle will improve it, it will in fact DAMAGE it. The question I would ask "vanilla" types is this: What are you so afraid of? 

Sex is a joyous and beautiful activity created by our Father. 

The ability to love one more then one is a function of the Fathers love for us. (Last I checked he didn't play faves and loved us all equally)  

As a member of both lovestyles i have to say. It's not abt the act of sex. Its abt loving each other enough to share ur love with other people.  

I agree with Dr Phil most of the time. But today I was confused?  

You did ask her why she was waiting on him to choose her future? Good point. 

But you also told him make sure he was ready to make the decision to leave the family and marriage, to exhaust all options first. 

Why was staying together even an option?  

I think you should have had him removed from the stage and just helped her the last few segments. Dr Phil, was your intuition turned off? 

She obviously needs the help, and he is only showboating to get more attention. You were hard on him in the beginning, but I felt you were actually buying his load of crap towards the second half. 

Where in the world is Dr Phil? You dropped the ball on this one! 

I married my husband because we wanted to be life partners.  I want to spend the rest of my life and the afterlife with him. We have been together 28 years and married 22 years-quite happily, so I guess we have that one down.  I love him, I respect him and we are both VERY involved parents of our two children. 

We were just teens when we met and we knew that our lives together could easily span 60-80 years.  We talked about our desires and alothough we matched in a large part, there were certain things that we needed to explore outside our relationship.  Neither one of us is terribly traditional and I don't expect organ music when I have sex. For me, marrieage is about a life partnership in life...not about ownership and control.  

When we became too busy with our relationship and our children we discussed it and chose to become sexually exclusive.  That may change in the future if we choose, but it works wonderfully now.  

Poly is about abundance not about neediness. I can understand how many people equate open sex with disrespect and a failure to love, but that is not how we think. 

I completely understood Charles' distain for the audience.  They were reacting like 5th graders listening to a dirty story.  I felt like saying "Grow up" too. 

The bank robber story was a false analogy.  He went to his wife and told her that he had developed feelings for another woman BEFORE they became intimate. Both spouses said that their marriage was long disconnected prior to that event, so the fact that he became attracted to someone else shouldn't be a surprise. The problem arose because she didn't say no, she didn't say, "this is something I am totally opposed to" ...she agreed to explore it.  He didn't rob a bank.  A better analogy would be that she misled him about their bank balance and he wrote a cheque but found out that there were insufficent funds after he bought something.