Messages By: mswing10

Let me gently say this....he may be the biggest face to face liar in the world, but you've spent all these years lying to yourself.  Lying to yourself that he's worth "fixing". He may be, but let some other woman fix him.  Better yet, let him fix himself for himself and not for you. 

So the question is...how long are you going to keep lying to yourself about this relationship?  He didn't just tell small lies, he told big huge pycho lies.  Blah Yucky!   

PS....don't believe too much the stuff about him "helping the Katrina victims and seeing the light".  So, does that mean he's gone years of breaking you down, watching the pain in your eyes without seeing any light?  Selfish, self-centered, and self-delusional.   

Fool me once, shame on you...fool me twice, shame on me.   

My insight to all of this would be that this annulment deal is just a symptom to these girls wanting to just be loved by their dad.  His actions would indicate he put little effort into reaching out when they needed reassurance - phone calls are the lazy way out.   

So, they cling to the whole annulment thing.  In the end...who cares - you exist, therefore you are valid and no one can take that away...not even the church.  Don't hang your hat on that.  Just let the man have it...how you really feel.  Like "hey you are a big jerk and a disappointment to me - now come over for Christmas dinner so we can fight over the turkey dinner like every other American broken home family - and bring your new wife so we can put her through a proper initiation by fire" 

Ladies and Pat...have a sense of humor about this...its family after all. 

I've read some posts that sound bitter because Dr. P hasn't personally assisted you with your family members addiction.  Hey, he was able to help one kid - that's more than what most people are willing to do in their lifetime.   

So I say, learn from his example.  If you've got a drugger for a kid, don't dink around...get them in treatment.  You've been shown how to do it step by step...but if you wait for Dr. P to make a house call for you personally, your kid will keep using and eventually it will kill them - don't doubt that for a minute. 

Yah Dr. Phil - let pray that kid gets what he needs.   

After watching the episode with the 30 year old virgin, I sat there wondering what was so great about "saving yourself". I'm almost 40 and have had a life filled with with a few wonderful love affairs, and now have a husband of 10 years who is great.   My initial thoughts are that you are incapable of letting go long enough to get beyond a cup of coffee and that you hold your virginity as the ultimate gift.  Sounds immature and self-centered if you ask me.   

I don't know...maybe I'm wrong.   

It's pretty obvious that all parties in this family have a role in this behavior, but I would directly blame the father.  What a jerk - sorry, but any guy who gets married so quickly after his wife's death has to have some sort of insecurity.  I can't imagine dropping my kid in Mexico and it being "ok" not to hear from her for a year.  For crying out loud - she could have been raped or something terrible like that.   

On the other hand, Shannon doesn't sound like an easy kid and frankly, if she was smart she'd just keep her mouth shut until she could get out of the house.  My guess would be that the younger one figured that out from the git go.