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Messages By: pearlhanna

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September 22, 2005, 9:05 am PDT

I agree

Quote From: daze_duke

This brings me to tears. The people from the hurricane all have suffered enough regardless of thier color. It is truly a sad situation for them all and they all desrve our prayers. Would you appreciate it if someone pased you by in the same situation because of your color? We all bleed the same color.
Racism proves nothing.  If I was violated by someone its not a "race" that performed a bad behavior.  Its an individual.  Katrina victims need our prayers and support.  I get prejudice all the time.  I am Jewish.  But I laugh ignorance off.  I can't tell anyone what to say or how to act.  Its up to me how I hear them.  And if what they're saying is useful.  Thats with anything I hear.  A person has a right to say whatever they want, but my right is what I do with it.  And if they're talking junk, I look at my feet to see if I'm wearing my sneakers to run away from angry mean people.
 
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September 23, 2005, 6:38 am PDT

Everyone Doesn't Believe if Jesus Christ

Quote From: bastanz

I will hopefully help you and others in gaining acceptance.  Most say they believe in religion or spirtuality but learning is sometimes hard.  All bibles/torahs/etc try and get one message across - that is love "unconditional".  Jesus Christ showed it all. Turn the other cheek/ love thy neighbor/ forgiving/ death for our Father - Proverbs says it all.    Now to help you in learning we are all one which I have found to help even the hardest racist - most believe in the bible and know  Adam (1 man) and Eve (1 woman) who came upon this earth and bore many children - us. They all inhabited places.  We displeased our God with our non love Genesis 6:3-8 and God destroyed all but one family-that of Noah.  Once again 1 family of 1 family who repopulated the earth and went to all parts of the earth.  Do you see - we are all one!  We may have adapted our skin colors to the climate, may come from different areas, speak different languages  - but we come from one almighty Father, thru Adam and Eve.  May Proverbs help you understand true spirit and one soul. 

Sorry to say but not all believe in Jesus.  I believe in God but my messiah hasn't come yet.  MY religion has showed me how to live as a human being and my parents instilled right from wrong. 
 
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surprised
September 29, 2005, 12:58 pm PDT

I read this in my local paper

There was a mother (and her puppy).  She lost her home in Mississippi due to Katrina.  Anyway, the woman went to stay with her family.  The family dropped her off at a motel after a few days cause she smoked too much.  I couldn't believe the unkindness of her family... why couldn't they tell mom to smoke outside?  It was an excuse to get her out.  I cannot belive the coldness of her family. It was in our local paper a few days ago and it scares me to think family could do this.
 
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September 10, 2006, 4:35 pm PDT

I can't change what I do not acknowledge

I want to thank you Dr. Phil.  Your expression "Can't change what you don't acknowledge" has hit me like a brick wall these past two days.

 

I have had an awakening that I needed.  LOL I didn't "want" it but I accepted it anyway. 

 

A group has betrayed me for the past 7 years.  I allowed it and I kept trying and trying to prove myself.  They got richer and I got no thank you of any kind.  Well today, for some odd reason I played back a segment of one of your broadcasts and you said those six words.  I hope you don't mind but will keep that tape so I can replay that expression when I need it in case of lapse of judgment and need from people not worthy of my time.

 

I thank you from the bottom of my heart. 

 

Even though I didn't play a game like soccer; and lost, you tossed me a lifesaver (peppermint) and gave me things to think about.  I have choices.  I AM NO ONES PAWN ANYMORE.

 

I didn't tell these people to go scratch but my attitude of ever emailing them with ideas or suggestions will be a cold day in H E double hockeypucks.

 

Thank you Dr. Phil.

 

Pearlhanna 

 
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hopeful
November 15, 2006, 6:52 am PST

I just got out of a relationship

I put all my efforts into the relationship.  It didn't work out.  I lost contact with all my friends.  Any good places, besides bars, to meet friends?

 

I am considering a volunteering organization and wonder if any of you folks went this route to meet people.

 

I am also wondering if there is a NAAFA type group for singles or a group that accepts people of size.

 
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confused
January 18, 2007, 12:01 pm PST

When it ends should it stay that way?

I took back a boyfriend that I kicked out in August via restraining order.  I hate to sound superficial, but he's a burden.  He doesn't make much money.  His priority is different than mine.  I pay my bills first than see whats left over to go out and have fun.  He is in over $1,800 in credit card debt and insists on paying the minimum payment.  If I can't pay it off, I don't buy.  When I kicked him out he preferred living in a book store saying he didn't have the money to pay for an apartment.  With affordable housing, assistance with food, utilities, its an excuse... especially when he unpacked 8 weeks ago when he moved back in with me.  He had money for a CD player, clothes, CDs. and a stuffed animal that sings and flaps his hands and legs.  I was like WTH... instead that junk find a roof thats not cardboard.

 

My problem is I felt sorry for him.  I should have stayed foot loose.  I figure I deserve someone who makes equal or a bit more money than I do and has similar priorities to mine.  Between you me and the sun, I don't pay for clothing (except underwear and shoes) or other things, I get a lot for free bidding on Freecycle.org.

 

Dr. Phil, I was going to ask if you ever did a topic on ended relationships..when a relationship is  over uis it worth giving another try or do a titanic --  let it sink and float away...fast!  I did the pro and con list but my lonliness got ahead of me.

 
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January 18, 2007, 12:07 pm PST

Its like a bird and a fish falling in love

...the only problem is where do they live?

 

pearl

 
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January 18, 2007, 12:28 pm PST

Bad Boys

Quote From: mlrssweety

I am 27 years old and I used to date nothing but "bad boys". You know the kind, into drugs and things like that. I was used, cheated on, beat on and left. When I was 17 I ended up pregnant and of course became a single mom. I am one of the few lucky ones who had my parents support to bring this child home to. One day as a guy I was seeing, yes he was a bad boy, went to pick my son up and my son started screaming like I had never heard before. At the time he was only about 2 months old. At that point something clicked with me. I not only had to make sure that I raised my son but I had to protect him from becoming a bad boy. I realized that I didn't want my son to grow up and become that, so why would I degrade myself to be around that. I can honestly say that my son is my angel sent from above. I was headed down the wrong path with dugs, sex and alcohol. When I had him I went from a kid to an adult in 7 1/2 months (he was early). I almost died having him which also made me realize that I couldn't mess around with bad boys, drugs etc. I met my husband when I was 17 but didn't know it then! He was a jock not a bad boy! When I was 19 we were reunited and he accepted my son as his own which won my heart over. I realized what I would of missed if I would of stayed on that dark path. I have been married for almost 8 years and have 3 great boys. My husband adopted my oldest and it is unbelievable how he loves him so much. He has been there since he was 9 months old. It's amazing how much the stress from then to know is so much different. I was always scared of being hit, or get caught up in something criminal, now I just worry about how I am going to get the kids to there footall practice! BAD BOYS AREN'T WORTH THE PAIN AND SUFFERING THAT THEY PUT WOMEN THROUGH. THE REASON WE DATE THEM IS BECAUSE WE DON'T HAVE ENOUGH SELF ESTEEM IN US TO THINK THAT WE DESERVE BETTER. I HAVE NEWS FOR YOU, WE DO. WE DESERVE TO BE LOVED AND HAVE SECURITY IN OUR LIVES.
Sincerley,

HAPPY AS CAN BE IN INDIANA
I think women date "bad boys" partly because it's "Hollywood."  If you look at say Sandra Bullock or other female celebs, they date/marry bad boys.  We, as fans, copy what celebrities do.  We don't realize, until its too late.  They can afford quickie divorces, we cannot.  With celebrities getting the publicity they do for these mistakes; the reward is profitable.  For us "everyday folk" its not.
 
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January 18, 2007, 12:32 pm PST

money saving tip

Join freecycle.com.

 

There you can post what you wanna give away and also look at what others are giving away.

 

Be aware though no one that obtains stuff on freecycle.org will be on Antiques Roadshow... Freecycle is more like "one man's trash is another one's treasure."

 

Pearl

 
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January 23, 2007, 12:54 pm PST

A new syndrome??

Quote From: anotherview

I watched this show on mega-moochers last night, and I think it's possible that the guy who is 38 and lives off his grandpa has asperger's syndrome, which is a high-functioning form of autism.  I think this because I have a son with this disorder, and he sounded a lot like him.  I think the family could benefit from learning about asperger's, because the sister at least is totally frustrated with him and wants him to see things the way she sees (and most of us see) them.  If he does have asperger's, he really doesn't--and can't--see things the same way, and he will only do what makes sense to him in his head.  Getting a job and living the way most of us do really makes no sense to him.  He thinks living off grandpa or another family member and trying to sell a car engine at the side of the road is a viable option.  He isn't just being lazy.  And he really does care about his interests more than he cares about relationships.  If he has asperger's, he is almost clueless about his relationships and how his actions affect them and what to do about them.  I hope someone from the Dr. Phil show will contact the family and present this as an option for them to at least educate themselves about so that they will know how to relate to Jeff better and save themselves a great deal of frustration.  Dr. Phil was absolutely right that he wants to and should continue his lifestyle, except to stop taking advantage of and draining his family.  The emotional drain can stop when they understand him better.  Another aspect of asperger's is that those afflicted really do tend to see people's value as being what they can provide for them, so they do tend to expect to be taken care of and do drain people's resources and energy.  I'm not saying that their family members should let them, but understanding the disorder can save them a lot of aggravation and help them understand how to relate to him.  It is still okay to say, "No, this is all I can do," or "This is as far as I can go to help you."  But he really will be happier living life in the way that makes sense to him.  Asperger's victims are not conformists.  My son is not yet 19 and lives with his dad and goes to college, so he is still doing pretty much what is age-appropriate, thank goodness, but he has tended to live and think like this guy--staying up until 5:00 a.m. and sleeping all day, not attending school and not seeing what the big deal is to everyone else, not intending to get a job but just get by trying to get paid here and there for doing what interests him, etc.  Asperger's people do care somewhat about relationships but have a hard time negotiating social settings.  They are very bright and seem perfectly capable but really aren't when it comes to some things.  I'm not trying to diagnose the guy, but the possibility that that is what is going on does shed a new light on this situation, and his family should look into it.  It's worth thinking about.  Please pass this on to that family, and maybe there are other cases where the mega-moochers really just have no clue about how to survive on their own, even though they seem capable.

Asperger's syndrome?  If he got off his "asper" he'd have a new syndrome called Iwannawork. 

 

Dr. Phil's theory; "can't change whatcha don't acknowledge" prevails.  Dr. Phil, sorry but I use that quote every chance I get.

 

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