Messages By: poetmom

Quote From: monkeymum

As my father puts it back in the day we used to have to go cut our own switch when we were bad, there were children comitting crimes ( outhouse tipping) nowadays there is far more crime comitted by kids than there was years ago.  Can this be directly linked to less spanking in the world?  I believe so because back than there was respect for the parents or there would be a spank, nowadays there are far too many people that think that it is wrong to fear parents but it worked years ago, I am in my late 30's and still will not swear near a elder beacause my father taught me the same way he was taught, and it only took one good spank.

Quote From: soprano_1

My 18 yr old daughter is making plans for her senior prom. She will be going with her FIRST real boyfriend whom she has been dating 5 months. He is 16 and a half and they are "in love." Here is the quandry: my daughter received a Christmas gift (bracelet and earrings) from a boy whom she has known for six years. They went on a few dates over four years ago, but now are only friends, and he has stated he is gay. My daughter has not been able to wear the jewelry because it is so fancy. The flowers in her prom dress happen to match the necklace, and she would like to wear the jewelry. My daughter asked her boyfriend if it would bother him if she wore the necklace, and at first he said he would take a cab home from prom if she did. After a few days, he said he would still go to prom with her, but would be miserable. She is also in theater, and her boyfriend said that he would "punch" anyone with whom she had a make-out scene (if that ever happened.) My daughter is very distraught. Is she being unreasonable wanting to wear the necklace? Is her boyfriend being overly jealous and controlling? She always "cow-tows" to his wishes and always sees his point of view. I believe he is controlling and immature. Please advise! Thank you.

Quote From: totalk

My daughter met a man online when she entered a wrong email address. He is abt 34, sgl, and college educated They kept in touch constantly by email, phone, IM, etc. After a few months they wanted to meet. She is 18, senior, and they met in a public place. The second time, (he lives across the country), she had her girlfriends with her when they spent time together. Of course we have discouraged this relationship since day one and didn't know she was meeting him.    

Her previous serious boyfriend was 4 yrs older than her and in the military. She wants to be independent in every way, and doesn't want our input in her relationships. She is pretty responsible with most committments, but still resents our authority and advice. She will listen to her dad more than me.    

I'm so upset, I don't know where our parenting lines should be drawn. After graduation, she will work and live at home to save for college, but she can't wait to leave, naturally. He is flying back this weekend to meet us, she thinks we will like him after we meet him... I would never approve the age difference unless she was 30,  at least old enough to know her own mind. Would you accept this?   

Quote From: margaritta

another general point is, that restricting a teenager from doing something may be necessary, but it might cause them to rebel even more.  before you restrict a teen, I think that the psychological aspects should be dealt with so that they would REACT to the restriction accordingly.  or it would just get worse.  perhaps a compromise is good too, if it is possible. in some cases, even a compromise is too dangerous. 

i'm obviously not an expert on this at all, but this is just something I've noticed with people I know and thought I'd share it. 

Quote From: purplepenny

I just don't undertsand this...

Holidays bring people together, they create a feeling of unity and of community celebration. Why would someone reject that?

It's so sad to me. Here we have this time of year where everyone just has fun, and smiles and there is warmth. And now some people want to take their ball and go home!!!

Quote From: faeryedark

You should know there are plenty of Christians that DO celebrate those holidays. Myself and my pastor included. I guess Jesus knows my heart  and He knows that we're just having fun not hurting anyone. I'm sure most of the pagans here would agree that the originators of these holidays probably wouldn't quite recognize them because they've been soooo Americanized.

Quote From: saruuuhh

wow....

I am 16 and have not had a boyfriend before. However, I know that if my parents tried to pin those kind of rules on me, it would make me want to go and find a boyfriend just to prove to me and to them that I am mature enough and can handle it. So many adults have made teen dating and just teens in general these days look like a big mess. But in reality, if your daughter or son has the right kind of friends, they aren't going to get into the drugs/drinking/sex etc. that adults seem to think that every teen is into these days.

Also, teen dating should not ever be about marriage in the first place unless you are around 19. A 15/16/17 year old should have more on their agenda than trying to find a mate if you ask me. If your teen has a well balanced lifestyle than it would probably be highly unlikely that if they met someone that they liked they would want to jump into marraige in the first place.

My suggestion would be that instead of trying to in force such extreme rules on them, why not let them feel comfortable enough to tell you if they like someone? Then perhaps you could meet the person they are interested in and see how it goes from there. You might be surprised what good judgement that us "troubled youth" can have. =

Quote From: ellestars

I've noticed after many people posting that they consistently check their teen's myspace, livejournals, and messengers. I'm sorry but if you seriously don't trust your kids THAT much something is wrong. Stay out of their private stuff.

Quote From: jamie63s

I have paid attention to what people are saying about this sexual molestation case, and had to throw in my two cents.  Based on the allegations of sexual molestation of his daughter, Jeremy should have no contact or at the very most supervised visitations at a child advocacy center.  Has this child been forensically interviewed by a trained interviewer?  It does not sound like she has.  Any allegation of sexual abuse of a child, with the reaction that I saw on the tapes deserves investigtion. 

 

I don't know which state this case is located in, but I have a hard time believing that CPS would leave the child in that situation.  If the mother has allowed the child to continue seeing her father and there has indeed been molestation going on, then she is just as guilty as he is in not protecting her child.