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Hi. You either like me or you hate me.  I knew that when I agreed to be part of the retreat.  I figured that half the audience could relate to this topic from one side or the other and I expected to be judged and I expected to be felt sorry for. 

You all only know a teeny tiny bit of what I'm really about.  You know nothing of how the relationship began, under what circumstances it advanced nor how it is today.

My story is very likely common.  I would guess that there are thousands of "other women" hiding in the shadows, waiting for the text light to come on on their cell phone, waiting for a 20 minute visit as he's on his way home or to work.

It seems that you women who are blaming me "the other woman" for presenting the opportunity of an affair to the married men probably need to look at your own shortcomings before delving into mine.  Let's face it, we're all imperfect.  Not a single solitary one of you can cast a stone without bearing the shame of your own sins.  Tsk tsk tsk. 

I agreed to appear on the show as a means to reach out to other women who are not yet in this situation, but may one day find the chance to be there ...I need them to not make the same mistakes I have made.  It was my goal to reach out and help save someone from the shadows.

I resent anyone passing judgement without identifying a fault of their own.  Seriously ??  You're all without sin ??  Wow, I'm blessed to know that such a being exists in this world.  Take all the shots at me that you want, I expected you to.  But I challenge you to compare my shortcomings to something you've done that may also be considered "taboo" ...go on, take my challenge, say what you want about me without knowing me but tell me a little something about yourself that you're not so proud of so I know that we have a level playing field.

I am restricted to what I can write so-as not to indicate how the retreat progresses, you will see for yourselves if you watch. 

To all of you who are supporting me thank you from the bottom of my heart. 

To those of you who are living as "the other woman" I beg you to look in a mirror and find your beauty.  Please, I'm not expecting you to fall out of love with him ...just try to fall in love with yourself again.  If you're living in the shadows I know how cold it can be, how lonely and dark.  Turn on the lights, turn up the heat, make yourself warm and comfortable and start to feel ok about being with yourself again.  Try not to think of him every second of every day.  Try not to leave your cell phone on in fear of missing that call that comes but once in a blue moon.  Try not to go to bed lonely ...it's ok to go to bed alone, just don't let yourself be lonely. 

I could go on and on.

I do not hold grudges in my life.  I don't blame any of you for hating me or what I've done.  I deserve your remarks. 

On this Sunday night, November 1, 2008 I love you all. 

Dear Dr. Phil,

I love you!  I can't believe how strong, honest, caring, and intelligent you are. 

I watch your shows faithfully and I see your heart! 

My issue is that although you reach out and do your show and write your books, I feel that it leaves people like me hurting and alone.  I started your book, "Self Matters" and it was devastating for me.  You ask that I go through memories in my life at different ages, describing what I felt and how it affected me.  I started this with one of my early childhood memories while I was alone and it was very bad.  Actually, it was down right scary.  I was alone, I had no professional to guide me and I felt like I was having a brake down.  I felt it was dangerous for me to be dealing with things that are way deep inside, ALONE.  Sure, few people get the chance to receive your help, but the rest of us are out here putting on our happy faces, while dying inside.  I have gone to counselors and have found that they don't get it.  I have no idea where to turn, not even through my church.

Today, I watched your, "Get Real Retreat" and I was a mess.  I screamed at the TV that it is "My Turn", yet I don't know how to do that on my own.  I related to so many of these people's lives that I felt sick listening to them.  Home alone, crying from the depths of my soul and not knowing what in the world to do about it. 

Perhaps, as wonderful as you are and how much you help others, your shows are not good for me.  I can watch, I can relate and I can hear what you are saying, but I don't know what to do with all that comes to the surface. 

I have been a mess and have lived a double life and hate myself more than I can express.  No one but God himself knows my deep down, dark secrets and to tap into them alone, it is devastating. 

Those who get your help are so very blessed and I pray that they know it and change their lives!!!!

I am a fan, just concerned about those out there that are like me.

May God continue to Bless you and your family!

Care