Messages By: steph124ny

Dear Grant, 

I am a little worried about you. You seem to have very little emotions. Think about this....what is your defination of fun?  Or your defination of funny?  What makes you smile and laugh? What makes you happy? 

OK, I also have to comment that I work from home and pretty much consider myself a stay at home mom. My house is not perfect. My dishes don't get stacked right. The laundry gets done when I get a minute. But my kids are happy and healthy. It's about priorities. You can't give your wife the goal of perfection to strive for because you yourself are not perfect.  Take a week off and send your wife to a spa. Stay home with your kids and see how realistic your expectations really are. I think your expectations mi9ght shift dramatically if you saw what your wife had to do every day in your abscence. 

I am really not trying to pick on you too much because my dad is an engineer and I understand the mindset.  It just seems that you were never taught how to deal with emotions so you try to quantify everything. It can't, and shouldn't, be done.  I really hope you are able to work through your issues and become truly happy. Tust Dr. Phil.. It is not your wife that is making you unhappy. It is yourself. 

Steph 

One of my best friends in high school and my roommate in college were both pathological liars.  The funny thing is, although they had never met, they told the SAME LIES!!  My husband's co-worker is also that way so we limit contact with him. One day he was around and spinning some tale or another and I flat out told him "You are trying to make people like you better. I guarentee you they will like you MUCH more if you stop lying."  Didn't work by the way.... 

Anyway, I have little kids and when I catch them lying I make them own up to it immediately. When they have to admit it and apologize to someone, they tend to not repeat the behavior.  All the liars on the show continue to lie because it has worked for them for so long. 

Steph 

Hi, 

My son is 10 and has been diagnosed with a few different things. He has ADHD, Tourette's Depression and a touch of OCD.  I can sympathize with the parents on this board who have kids with mental illnesses. People either blast you for putting your child on meds (which they need) or consider you a bad parent because you can't always control their behavior. I am very lucky that my son has an excellent child psychiatrist and a wonderful counselor. He's doing great in school this year but we've encountered a problem recently.  He doesn't want to take his meds anymore. He takes Celexa for the depression. ADHD meds bring out full blown Tourette's in him so he can't tolerate them. I've tried to explain to him that he feels really crappy when he doesn't take it, but reasoning with a 10 year old just doesn't work. I make sure he gets them but some nights it is a huge struggle and I'm so tired of the same fight night after night.  I suppose some people have it much worse than me so I count my blessings. It is just so hard to watch your child struggle with something that is so completely out of your control. Anyway, I wish much luck to everyone that is struggling with mental illness and urge them to seek the help they need. 

Stephanie 

I have 3 kids, 10, 8, and 6mnths old. The older two take Tae Kwon Do and are only months away from black belt.  They practice over and over again in class what to do if someone grabs you.  It is not enough to tell your kids what to do. You have to show them and practice enough so that they automatically react the proper way and not freeze up.  You can't protect your kids from everything, but you can PREPARE them for things.  Believe me.....my 45 pound 8 year old can take down a grown man. She won the gold medal for sparring at the state competition and got invited to Nationals. You don't want your kids walking aorund scared of their shadows, but you do want them aware of the dangers of the world and what to do about them. 

Steph 

I am also terrified of tornados. If the sky even darkens I just about get panic attacks! We actually moved away from Texas because of me.  Just wanted you to knnow you aren't the only one. 

Steph 

These types of behaviors generally don't happen overnight. Was there anything done all the way along to improve the situation? I haven't seen the show yet so I don't know the full details.  It sounds like these kids need serious, probably inpatient, counseling.

Steph

We all have days when we don't feel wonderful about ourselves, but I KNOW that no matter what...my husband thinks I'm pretty and loves me for who I am.  Obviously, the attraction between us started because we liked how each other looked, but it matured from there into liking how each other acted and thought. We like how we treat each other. It doesn't really matter what you look like when your relationship is based on more important things!!!!!  Nobody from Vogue is going to be calling me today to book my cover shot, but I know I look presentable and put together. I think women who are confident and pleasant are beautiful no matter what they look like. The kind of people you just like to be around, you know? 

I feel so bad for these women who have so little self esteem that they need constant reassurance from everyone that they are OK. They don't seem to realize that their neediness (is that a word? LOL!) is making them ugly....not their looks. 

Steph 

It broke my heart to hear the kids talk to Dr. Phil.  Getting beaten is so normal to them that all they really mentioned was "Mommy and Daddy getting angry and yelling."  It DIDN'T EVEN OCCUR to them that isn't normal!  Dr. Phil.....you need to call CPS because the father hits them too!  You can't leave the kids in HIS supervision!!! 

Steph