Messages By: yoshiyoshi

First let me say that I was not sexually abused as a child and I had no idea that this sort of thing went on.  If what Donna said is true about the nightmare her grandson had, I feel Dominic is showing signs of  sexual abuse . . . the potty training issue is one of them, a big one at that.  I am not a doctor, but I am a parent survivor of a 3 year old boy that was being sexually abused by a close member of my family, my half brother.  I was not raised in the same house as my brother, but we became very close when we were adults. I know now that he was horribly abused by his step father, probably from day one, when he was around 2 until about age 16, then his stepdad left.  No one knew what was going on with my step brother until my horrific experience. All the signs were there, but nobody saw them.

I knew something wasn't right and it took a few months to put the pieces together, but eventually it all made sense.  My son was potty trained and reverted back to wearing a diaper, which I found strange.  My son started sleeping in my room everynight.  I had a friend tell me that my son had extreme anger towards me, which I couldn't understand at that time (I was the one that left him with my brother).  One minute my son would be hugging me and the next moment hitting me.  I had my brother's other half sister (which he grew up with) tell me that "my brother had an unusual attachement to my son.  Finally, when my 3 year old son used a sexual term, that's when all the pieces of a horrific puzzle finally fit together.  In that split second, my life changed forever.  All the signs were all there (I wish I had seen them sooner).  My brother was removed from my household immediately and has not seen me or my son since (13 years now).  That was the day my son changed, in an instant, he changed, for the good. 

Everyone thought we had the perfect family.  I have a few doctor friends who never seen the signs, one of which is a psychiatrist.  These are people trained to see the signs.  Everyone thought my son and my brother had an excellent relationship.  My brother took him swimming, on outings etc., like I did with my aunt's and uncle's.  I reported the abuse to social service's myself and at that time was told that basically it was a 3 year olds word against an adult, and no charges were ever laid . . . yet.

All I can say is . . . gut instinct. So parent's, family member's, please, if any of these signs sound familiar, get help to find the truth.  If anyone uses the term "unusual attachment" with reference to your child and an adult, please, investigate it! I hope that this message helps keep even just one child (hopefully a lot more) from experiencing the horror of sexual abuse. 

I had my son go to play therapy for a few years after and I think it helped BIG TIME!!  I have been to many different types of therapist, counseller's, etc. and nothing takes the pain or guilt away.  There is no pain greater  (other than burying your child) than the pain you feel when your child has been abused, especially when it is right under your nose.  I feel that a 3 year old child can recover quite well from abuse if caught sooner than later and with proper help. The guilt (which slowly kills your soul) and pain the parent/parents carries around, can last a lifetime. 

     I couldnt believe this show at all! I was lying in bed watching this feeling completely sick to my stomach! How can any mom who adopted a child and was willing to take that responsibility want to give back that child six years later? That little girl didnt ask to have problems with herself nor for her to be an orphan. Now put yourself in this little girls shoes. Being a little girl with no mother or father and then finally being adopted into a good family...so she thought. Then just for the entire six years of being there...being resented by her "mother". I know alot about adoption because my fiance was adopted and he definately rebelled against his adopted parents as well because he thought it wasnt fair, but then he realized that his adopted parents gave him the best life he ever asked for. However with this family, there is no effort of love coming from the mother, instead just the father is giving any kind of emotion. The mother seemed crazy to me and I hope she gets some help and raises that little girl the right way!

     Now the story about the 12 year-old little boy that has down syndrome and is autistic is just sad to me. In fact I cried when I saw him. I understand having a child like that is stressful and very hard in your life, but once again that child didnt ask to be born with those disabilities. I didnt feel bad for that mother at all, even being a mother myself. If you watched the show carefully everytime she was around that little boy all he screamed was "mean". Now we saw video clips but how do we know that she really tries that hard? The father as you saw in the videotape is able to communicate with his son perfectly and when it was time for him to go to bed and walk up the stairs himself, he did it, with his father giving him POSITIVE ENCOURAGEMENT. For any mother to call her child a nightmare and say that if she knew her son was going to be that way she would have never brought him into this world should seriously be thrown and locked away with a key. Not everyone is perfect and if snything you should love that child more for being different then everyone else, not ridicule them.

Why are you sorry my child has Autism??He's fine with alot of work, he has achieved everything a typical boy his age has and does everything a typical boy his age does.

Yes ,he does need to go away for he can learn what he is capable of doing. To live to his full protential.

If he can say "mean" and uses and understand its meaning then he is not living to his full protential, he can walk but he is not doing so. He needs the school and I hope that the Doc helps him.

I think you overreacted a bit....Dr. Phil's point in suggesting an institution for Alex was for ALEX'S benefit. His parents obviously are not able to give this child the care he needs to progress...should Alex just stagnate because of that?

Not every parent of a special needs child is a super hero, you know. Some are just simple not able to handle the situation, financially or emotionally,  and the child should not suffer because of the ineptitude of the parents. 

Yes I do, but I don't think that some or most  would get it. and that look I get has to go too. lol..

But to be fair most don't know that there is a spectrum and not all children with Autism come from the same shell. As my mom would of said "they mean well and I should except it as it was given" mom was to nice at times. lol

Thanks Yosh for a good laugh  J.