It seems to me that all these couples have serious issues that need to be "fixed" before they even should consider walking down the aisle. I wish I was knew then what I know now before I made that mistake of getting married. I was lucky enough to be selected for an episode a few years ago on the Dr. Phil Show entitled the "First Wives Club". You couples are extremely lucky to be selected for this episode, It will be life changing (hopefully). I have learned that you never can really know someones "true colors". You couples are already starting off in an unstable relationship... good chances are that it will continue that way. Existentialism.... If they are capable of thinking, feeling, and acting upon certain things, they will most likely repeat that same behavior. I am still being "haunted" by my ex-sociopath husband. He is still breaking the law, even though he is a police officer, and still thinks he can get away with it. He's always had problems obeying the law, court orders, and making moral judgements. All I can do right now is to make life as stable and secure as possible for our children by adjusting our lifes to the changes that he continues to create for me. I just had to take an unforeseeable amount of time off from school that was graciously provided to me from Roger Williams University and Dr. Phil. One of the many things that I learned in my 2 year studies at school was in a writing class. I did a research paper on "unstable marriage foundations". NO FAULT DIVORCE LAWS NEED TO BE CHANGED!!!! Divorce is in epidemic proportions in our society and that NEEDS to be changed! This world is constantly changing and laws need to be reformed while those changes are in progress. No-fault laws were good back in the 60's and 70's when women needed to get out of an abusive marriage, they didn't have many rights even when it came to voting. Times HAVE changed and women voices count, but the laws still remain in effect. These are the laws that keep families surpressed in todays society. Anybody can ask for a divorce at anytime, under any circumstance, and be granted. The custodial parent is then limited in their time when it comes to parenting (the most important job), work, and their future. I believe EVERYTHING has existential effects on the future. The no-fault divorce law, for example, can contribute to our national budget upset. Divorce has steadily risen in the last 30 years... so has the crime rate, drug infestaions on our youths (probably to escape from the reality of their home-life), national welfare and healthcare systems in a muck, and the list can go on and on. Maybe if we step back for a minute and look at what the effects of divorce has on people, children, and future offspring, then shouldn't we make it harder to get a marriage license and a divorce to be granted in todays society?! I believe our society needs to have pre-marital counseling, pre-divorce counseling manditory before anything is granted. We can not afford (economically, but more importantly mentally) to continue down this same path if this country wants to survive and flourish. People need to make wise choices in who they choose to allow into their lives and especially when creating a new life. We need to be more selective. I wish I had not ignored the "warning signs" before I took that huge leap into marriage, my life would have been different. The only good things that came out of it are my 2 beautiful girls that I revolve my life around. They will see from my mistakes in life, not to do the same themselves. Life is more than finding a partner to share yourself with... its about finding yourself and what makes you happy... inside and out! If you have any doubts on getting married or "hoping" you can change your spouse, don't do it!!!! Time will tell if you are meant to be together... don't make any rash decisions, if your partner really loves and wants to be with you "til death do us part" then they will wait until the time is right. Best Regards, Heidi... First Wives Club member
P.S. Don't forget to VOTE, but choose wisely
