Messages By: sandralynn65

I am a divorced mother of one very bright, goodlooking almost 14 year old. After divorcing his father it took a year but we than got a long really good. My son was 3 when we divorced and in the decree it stated my ex would get him every 2nd, 3rd, and 4th weekend. This was okay back than because I was fortunate where I could be with my son 24/7 so the 3 weekends thing did not bother me at the time. When our son started kindergarten he got really involved in sports and he developed many friends. I went to his dad and asked him if we could go every other weekend and he said yes. Everything went great for about 6 years, we exchanged weekends if needed, I gave extra time in the summer (instead of going on just Fri - Sun, I let him got Thu - Mon) It ended up being 2 1/2 weeks extra per summer.

Now just three years ago he calls me up (he just got remarried & I went to the wedding) and says he wants our son back 2nd, 3rd and 4th weekend. I said no because our son was now accustomed to everyother weekend and doing things with his friends. I went to see a lawyer and than filed papers to modifiy visitation to every other weekend, he got his lawyer and we than had to see a mediator who stated to my ex you can't just do this to your son. He has a life now (at 12 that was).

Now it is an all out crap-fight and he inturn has filed for sole custody. I too am remarried and we have had our ups and downs trying to blend a family with his kids and having my son come home from his dads and step-moms saying the "Parkers" are not your family (the Parkers being my new husband and step-children). Imagine trying to work a marriage out when this is happening. Then my son got sick and was hospitalized for 8 days - 174 hours in the hospital, I was there 171 of them. His dad came and saw him for 1 hour on one day. My son couldn't spend his Christmas vacation with his dad per doctors notes and because how sick he was but my ex just thought I was trying to keep his son from him. I did let our son be with his dad all day X-mas day even though we were told not to transport him.

Than later in Dec. our son had a proceedure done at a hospital; his dad was there with his mother, I was there with my husband and step-son. My ex stood in the door way after our son got out of recovery so that my husband and step-son could not come in the room. I had asked my husband to get a pillow to put under my sons arm (for comfort) and when he came back with my ex ripped the pillow out of his hand and threw it at his son and I told him that was unecessary and he inturn told me to shut the F* up and that I was just putting on a show. Than he turned toward my husband and told him "why don't you just leave" who inturn told my ex if you continue to talk to my wife like that we will have a problem. Than my step-son tried to come in and my ex turned toward him and blocked the doorway stating "you can't come in you are not family".

He put a false OP against me that never went infront of a judge (it got dismissed) during the OP he called and made a false police report that I was with my son (when in fact he had our son).  He has shown the divorce decree to our son, he has told my son that your mom is breaking the law and this is all her fault because she divorced me.

Long story short (okay maybe not) we had a custody evaluator, and she favored my sons dad!!!!!!!!!!!  Why? Because she spent more time interviewing them instead of us. She met with my son and me one time, she met with me alone one time, and than with me, my ex and our son one time. She met with my son and his dad at least 3-4 times and she met alone with his dad a few times and even interviewed my ex's mom and another man I was involved with. She did not interview anyone on our side.

Now it stands I could loose my son over all of this and honestly we really didn't do anything wrong. I have never ever discouraged a relationship between my son and his dad. NEVER!!!

Why am I telling all of you this, because it hurts everyone involved and because of something so stupid you could loose your child. Do what you can to solve everything before Judges and other people get involved before it's too late. Also make sure you keep a log book on everything that happens when your child leaves for the other parents. Log everything!!!!!!!!!!!!

My son does want to stay with us but whether he is heard or not will be a different ball game. Our court date is Sept. 13/14. Those who pray... please pray for us and our son. Thank you.

I have coached and been a teachers aide for several years now and let me tell you these kids can sceme up lies you would be embarrassed about and the problem is once they make the lie up and trouble starts brewing it's like they are too scared to recant their story and so they stick to the lie. They stick to it so bad that they almost convince themselves it really did happen. I think they do this because if they admitt that they lied than they would be in so much trouble that it is worth it to go on lying, after all it doesn' affect them.

I will be interested in seeing the rest of the show tomorrow and this boy that comes forward, but the truth is they will flat out lie to your face and look convincing, but the polygraph should say it all. I've seen instances where teachers should be thrown out on their butt where I have worked. Male teachers flirtting with young girls only in 6th, 7th and 8th grade and to top it all off flirtting with the female teachers infront of the students too. (and this guy is married). I see a lot of inappropriate behavior from both students and teachers and it just is mind blowing that people think that it's ok to display this behavior.

The problem is though it is to easy for students to claim something and then rumors start and then they are believed of what happened. I say we need to put a camera in every class room anymore and that way none of this would happen again. It would be ashame to do this but we need to protect both the teachers and the students at this point. After all if a student got a bad grade from a teacher or was turned down for something it would be easy for a student to claim false accusations.

It's easy for all of us to sit and say she needs to get a back bone, but trust me when there is an abuser involved it's not all that easy. Things start out so small and simple and than it grows into much bigger issues. By the time it grows into the bigger issue the abuser has you right where they want you and that is you with no self esteem, self worth, you feel stupid or not important enough. The abuser takes away such a big part of you it's hard to stand up to them. So cut her some slack because he is the idiot that needs help! He is an abuser all the way, he is a creep, and he doesn't deserve to have a woman or children in his life. He has even involved his innocent children to be apart of his self indulging of being so over abusive to his wife. I would like to take this so called man and tie him to a tree and beat him with a baseball bat, but that wouldn't be very Christian would it?