Messages By: steve66oh

First of all, for any man to expect for a woman to get an abortion or put a child up for adoption against her will is completely ridiculous.  Nobody should have the right to make a decision like that for anyone else.  Secondly, the idea that this guest expects to be excused from paying child support  just because he wasn't "ready to be a father", is completely obserd.  He had no problem engaging in sexual activity in which he knows is how a child is conceived.  Nothing is guaranteed,  I had problems for years getting pregnant & thought I too wouldn't be able to have children, however, I just gave birth to baby boy 2 weeks ago.  The same goes for birth control.  If you aren't ready to be a father, then you better stop having sex! 

I would have posted my message earlier but I had a 3yr old to take care of.  I'm holding her in my arms & trying to type at the same time.  When I first heard about this story about Matt on the radio on my way to work.  When I got to work I went to the Internet & read the story.  I then posted a message  about the story.   

I do not know how to express how mad I am that this man thinks that its illegal for him to have to pay child support because he told the mother he didn't want to be a father.  How many woman tell the men that they don't want to be a mom & get pregnant?  I have so many emotions going through my head & have no idea where to begin.   

I was not ready to be a father when my daughter came along.  That didn't mean I was going to abandon her.  This guy is a real jerk!!!  If he doesn't want to be in the child's life thats his loss but to sit on that stage & say that his rights were violated because he is made to pay child support is absolutely ridiculous.  At least his face will be seen by millions of viewer's & hopefully other women will stay away from him!  

I'm very sorry for who ever reads this, I am having a very hard time putting my emotions in writing.  There is one last thing I would like I am a father & very proud of it.  There is nothing I wouldn't do for my daughter.  I would gladly give my life to save heir's!!!! 

Dear readers,   

  Wow what a charged subject....Do fathers have the right to say that they have no responsibility for a child simply by stating that they had expressed they did not want to be a parent before engaging in concentual sex?...... My answer and opinion is this:  While I understand that many say don't have sex at all, for most of us this is not a realistic option, However, with as many products, medications and education programs out there I don't see a reason for indivduals to engage in sex without  protection if they are absolute about not wanting a child. Regardless of what their  partner says is their medical standing on the ability to conceive, it is the individuals responsibility to ensure that they are doing everything THEY can to prevent pregnancy.  Simply stating that an individual is not ready to be a parent is not enough. Not engaging in sexual relations is the only 100% way to not have a child, so if the enevetible happens and pregnancy occurs BOTH individuals should be held accountable for the decions that they made at the time of conseption. I do feel that a woman should have the say about what happens in and with her body and the life within her after conseption. My preseption of what was presented on the Dr. Phil show by the gentilmen along with Matt is: Men should be able to dicide what happens to the life within a woman after conseption and I disagree with this. A man placing demands on a womans body at anytime is wrong. to have a better understanding of what I mean, if a man demanded a woman end her pregnancy in court or otherwise it could be equilized as best as possable to a woman demanding a man get a vasectomy so she wouldn't get pregnant in the first place. A tyipcal man would be strongly against this especially if he has plans to have children in the future. So I don't see how is it acceptable for a man to place demands a woman.  The reality of the matter is that the subtle diffrences between the sexes will never be compleatly equal as much as our society has tried to push it.. This is a biological truth. Life gives a balance of it's own. While one sex may come short in one area and excel in another the same is true for the flipside.   

I support giving men the right to opt out of fatherhood for the following reasons:   

1.  This will force women to make better choices about intercourse and will therefore reduce the number of unwanted pregancies.   

2.  A particularly despicable type of violence, that concerning the disgruntled man forced to pay child support, will be eliminated.   

4.  Sex will become more genuine in terms of the union between man and woman.  This will turn the tide of the current run-away sexual revolution contributing to many of the social ills now seen in America.   

5.  Sexual unions that are formed, due to better choices made by women, will result in better, stronger, and more fit families.   

6.  The consequent greater selective pressure placed on men by women, will force men to become better at being "men" in order to secure a mate.  This will improve the quality of "fathers" as more men strive to excel in order to win the attention of a women.   

7.  The increased competition by men in order to secure a mate will "weed-out" the less desirable sex partners thus improving overall the health of the human species.   

I'm convinced this will come to pass even though the concept is quite disturbing to us now:  every generation has it's scourge; the problems we see facing famlies today due to our laissez-faire attitude about sex is one of ours that future generations will one day look upon with contempt.     

As I was listening to Matt and "his people" talk I just kept thinking - welcome to our world.  The world of women.  Throughout history women have had very few choices.  We have faced discrimination throughout time - and it continues today.  Many women do the same job as our male counterparts yet get paid less.  How long have we had the right to even vote in this country?  The movement began in 1840 but the 19th amendment did not pass until 1920!  That process took 80 years - when do you think we will see our first women president?   

IAny way, I just want to tell Matt - "Get over it!  Grow up and take responsibility.  You had the chance to be in total control (or at least 99%) of your destiny but you chose not too." 

If you choose to have unprotected sex you choose to face any and all consequences.   

Dear Dr. Phil,  

I am an advid viewer of your show.  I record you everyday.  I have to admitt you struck a subject that I am passionate about.  I have very strong opinions about the rights of women and babies.....and with this new case ......men.  I am a wife or 15 years and a mother of two.  One child of which was an unplanned pregnancy.  I am so tired of hearing about women's rights and their bodies.  Babies have no rights at all until they are born.  How bizarre is that!!  We treat stray puppies in this country better than we treat our unborn children.  Some women would not blink twice at having an abortion, but wouldn't kill a stray puppy that they didn't want.  As you can guess I do feel that abortion should be illigal, with the exception of rape, incest, and the life of the mother.  Women do have the right to choose.....the same choices that men have....before the baby is ever concieved.     

I do feel that men and women currently have completely different rights in this area.  A man can only control a limited number of factors and they are ALL prior to conception.  He has three choices abstenence, condoms, or a vasectomy.  ALL other forms of birth control and ALL other options are controlled by the women.  Also keep in mind.....when it comes to contraception....the only thing a man can lie about is that he has had a vasectomy or that he is stirile.  It is really obvious to the woman whether or not he is using s condom.....Can't exactly lie about that.  Virtually ALL forms of birth control for women are "HIDDEN".  The pill, the diaphram, spermacides, IUD, etc.....are all internal.....and virtually impossible for the man to be 100% sure that the woman has actually done what she says she has done.  Yet if he actually trusts her.....and she has lied...he is still responsible for that child.  And remember after conception......he has NO CHOICES about the child.  The woman still has multiple choices.  

Since the baby is in the woman's body....the father has ZERO say.  What if the father actually  WANTS the baby.......if the mother chooses to abort..........he has no rights at all to save his own child.  Women have all of the control in what happens to his life and his baby after conception.  How is this right or legal.  IT IS descrimination based on sex.  If the mother chooses to keep the child then the father is automatically responsible......WHY????.....Why does ONLY the mother have the right to choose adoption.   If and only if the mother decides to give the baby up for adoption, does the father THEN have a new option to fight for custody of the child.  It is an amazing double standard that we have put up with for decades.  

Just another thought....for those who are pro-choice.  If a baby is NOT A LIFE until it is delivered......(especially since late term abortions are still legal in some states)....why was Scott Peterson convicted of the MURDER of his unborn child.  Is it only murder if you DON'T have an M.D. behind your name??    You can't have it both ways.  Either an unborn child is a life or it is not.......they are not only a life when they are convenient.  

Dr. Phil I have to say I was a little disappointed to see that you to placed  ALL of the blame on the young man.  If he had used a condom consistantly and it had simply failed....would that have made a difference for you.......but even if it had changed your position....it still would be no different for him legally.  Even if a man does EVERYTHING right in efforts to avoid pregnancy........if the woman gets pregnant he is still automatically responsible for that child for the rest of his life..........unless of course the WOMAN CHOOSES adoption.  

A final thought for all women.......please remember we currently do have this much power over a man's life.  Be wise, be responsible and honest with your partners and spouses.  Be pro-choice  PRIOR   to the conception of a child.  After all,........after conception....your life and the man's life will never be the same ...No matter what choice you make.