Messages By: megazach

Personally, I am offended by seeing bottles in public.  Have noticed how much like nipple caricatures those things are like?  They look like the comics of women's breasts you'd see in Playboy or something.  Disgusting!  And the fact that the baby's health is being put at risk  *really* puts off my eating.   

Okay, that was rather tongue-in-cheek.  I have bottle-fed one baby (my first, I wanted to breastfeed and gave up too easily, which I will always regret) and am still breastfeeding my second (although not in public for a long time, as there are even limits to my comfort level), so I have experience doing both.  I never had to put a blanket over my daughter's head, my shirt worked just fine.  I am a *very* modest person!  The first time we went out to eat after she was born, she started fussing, so I took her out to the car.  I forgot to take keys with me, so we sat out in an extremely hot vehicle (90+ degrees), because I was too embarrassed to nurse in public.  I swore that was the last time I would *ever* do that.  I started actually practicing in front of a mirror at home so that I could figure it how to do it without exposing myself.  It can be done.  And yet, even that wasn't enough!  Even covering up with a blanket isn't enough for some people.  Just *knowing* there is a baby under there eating offends some people.  Trust me, there is nothing sexual going on when a baby is nursing, if that's your worry.  If you've ever had a baby suck on your finger, that's about what it feels like.   

If we lived in any other time or any other country, this wouldn't be a big deal.  Even in extremely conservative Muslum countries, where women have to be covered head to toe, women are allowed to nurse their babies in public!  It is understood in those places that breastfeeding is best for their babies and therefore for the nation as a whole, so they make accomodations!  Sad that our country, which is supposed to be so reasonable and forward-thinking, can't think more like that about this issue.     

I agree with being discreet.  I actually practiced in front of a mirror so that I could breastfeed without showing anything.  I never once showed any more of my breast than what you would see if I were wearing a modest bathing suit.  And yet, for some people here, it sounds like that's still not enough.  The very fact that they *know* there is a baby suckling at the breast is enough to offend them.   

As stated previously by many other women who have actually *experienced* breastfeeding a baby, not all babies tolerate being covered by a blanket.  I don't know many adults who would want to eat their meals under a blanket, either.  I never used a blanket but was still able to be discreet -- but again, if people knew what I was doing, they were offended by the very thought of it.   

I have seen adults that belch at restaurants, have food hanging out their mouths, and are just plain disgusting -- but no one would tell them to go eat in the bathroom.  Because they're adults, and we value the rights of adults more than the rights of babies.  Sad. 

Well, changing your baby's diaper in a booth *is* disgusting.  The equivalent, though, wouldn't be bfing in a booth, but urinating in a booth.  It's unsanitary.  Human milk is quite sanitary, and a woman's breast is at *least* as sanitary as her hands, if not more so.   

I was never able to pump enough milk for either of my babies to make a whole feeding.  Babies are able to extract much more milk than a pump, at least until the milk supply is solidly established. 

I had a great deal of trouble bfing my first and quit after just 2 weeks, and it was in large part because the hospital nurses gave him a bottle or two in the hospital because they thought I needed the rest (even though I explicitly told them no bottles or pacifiers -- they also talked me into giving pacifiers within a couple of days of his birth).  Therefore, I was NOT going to do anything to interfere with bfing my second.  THere was no way I was going to give her a bottle.  It worked well, and I am still bfing her 3 years later (*gasp!*) and am a LLL leader.  I would never tell a mom who is trying to make nursing work to use EBM in public, because it might undermine their ability to bf.  It is *not* compromise for anything but the mom's milk supply. 

Amen!!!  Especially to your last sentence. 

Children are a part of our society, like it or not.  To make them stay at home or imply that they should only be allowed to eat in a car or bathroom is segregation and discrimation. 

I just wanted you to know that I never leaked, at least not early on.  And  yet my baby was thriving, and that's how I knew milk was coming out when she nursed.  I'm not challenging you at all, but I thought the same thing with my first, panicked, gave him bottles, and that was the beginning of the end of breastfeeding for us.  I was able to breastfeed my daughter and never supplement with formula, because by that time I had come into contact with LLL and was better prepared for all the possibilities -- including the fact that I might not know for sure whether she was getting enough.  It's not always exactly the way the books tell you it will be.   

I'm sorry you wanted to bf so badly and couldn't.  I have been there.  I know now, since I was able to nurse my daughter, that I could have nursed my son, too, with the right support and information.  So many women are getting incorrect information from doctors and books.  I would truly encourage you that if you want to try again to contact LLL while you are still pregnant.  It made the entire difference for me!   

You were replying to a comment I made, so I'm assuming that your remark is to me.  I will say, once again, that I never once "exposed myself".  I am, believe it or not, very modest (I'm far more uncomfortable in a swimsuit on the beach than I am nursing a baby in public).  I did just fine with my regular T-shirts and sweaters.  I practiced in a mirror until I was able to do so.  However, larger-breasted women might have a harder time with this, even with special nursing clothes.  They shouldn't be made to hide or stay at home just because their larger breast size makes it difficult for them to ever keep from showing anything.  Most women I know would rather not show anything, and yet sometimes it happens in spite of their best efforts.  Sometimes babies pop off the breast to look around, and even with special nursing clothes, a nipple might be exposed for a few seconds.  Bottle nipples are designed to look like the human breast, because that's what babies are designed to eat from -- why is a big, exaggerated, prosthetic nipple more disgusting to you than the real thing?  So the answer would probably be a blanket, but I stand by my belief that babies shouldn't be forced to sit under a hot blanket to eat (although if they don't mind it and mom is more comfortable using it, I have no problem with it), any more than an adult should.  I've seen adults that are far more disgusting when they eat than a breastfed baby, and *they* are the ones who should be told to hide under a blanket or stay home until they learn some manners! 

And yet, babies are a part of society just like everyone else.  If you choose to live in society, you have to deal with babies, young children, teenagers, 20-year-olds, the elderly, fat people, people with disease, people with learning disabilities, people in wheelchairs, the list goes on and on. 

If you don't want to deal with a huge segment of our society (and one that will probably be caring for you as you age), then you need to isolate yourself.  It's YOUR responsibility to do so, not mine, not my baby's.   

Hmmmm....the AAP recommends breastfeeding for at *least* a year, the WHO at least 2 years.  My babies were both capable of squirming out from under a blanket *well* before then.  I think I'll listen to the experts, thank you very much.   

It's very unsanitary to breastfeed in a bathroom.  I feel sad that you did that. :(