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Messages By: morwen2003

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July 26, 2007, 9:43 pm PDT

07/26 Adoptions Scams, Part 1

Quote From: reticulate

The lady didn't steal anyone's hopes or dreams, she stole their money. Babies are blank slates; one is as good as the next.  She scammed them, she'll go to jail, but she isn't evil, and they can go buy another kid.

I'm rather surprised to read your response.  It showed a remarkable lack of understanding, of adoption, of adoption scams and of this adoption scam in particular.

 

Allow me to clarify things for you.

 

First of all, adoption is a combination of two things.  A woman unable to care for her child and an adoptive couple, usually unable to have children of their own.  Selling a baby is strictly against National Law and people who do it are usually prosecuted to the fullest extent the law will allow.

 

Second, adoption scams DO steal an adoptive couples dreams.  They are dreaming of holding a child in their arms, dreaming of raising it, giving it their love, teaching it how to be a responsible adult.  They WANT these things and it's true up to a point that one child is as a good as any other...at first.  But babies take nine months to develop.  Usually adoptive parents don't have to endure the whole nine months waiting for the baby to be born, but however long it takes eventually they begin to feel that they have formed a bond with the child they are promised, so when a mother or scammer tells the prospective couple that, for whatever reason, they can't have the baby after all, it's like the child died in their arms.  They are hurt and have to mourn.  They also lose hope.  Adoption is a long and difficult process.  The United States has some rather stringent adoption laws and, on top of that, many adoption agencies try to screen prospective parents before they start to match them with adoptable babies.  Their hope that some other mother will select them as worthy parents for her child becomes overshadowed by the realization that whatever mother they are talking to may be attempting to trick them again.  Another point here is that, very often prospective parents of an adopted child have spent a good deal of money preparing to receive the child promised to them (buying clothing and furniture, hiring lawyers so that they know what they have to do to be able to bring the child home and give it their name, perhaps even painting a room, things like that), so even if there weren't laws against "buying another kid" as you so astutely put it, they might not have the resources available to do so.

 

Last, but most certainly not least,  the only thing you said about "the Lady" that I agree with is "She isn't evil."  This scam wasn't for money, it was for attention.  The scammer in this particular instance wanted to feel important to someone.  It's true that she did get some items and possibly some money, but her ultimate desire wasn't to bilk the prospective parents of her "child"  out of their life savings, it was to feel important to someone.

 

That said, there's a good chance that all three women will have to go through some form of therapy before they are ready to trust another mother telling them they are the right people for her baby and the next time you make one of these pronouncements it might be a good idea to have all the facts first.  That way you wouldn't get the goats of so many people.

 
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July 26, 2007, 10:19 pm PDT

07/26 Adoptions Scams, Part 1

Quote From: reticulate

Tell me, please, how exactly do you steal a dream?

Hmm, I see you want details.  Let's see here.

 

First, you must determine what the dream is.  Let's say you dream of owning a snowmobile.

 

Next, you find a weakness.  Let's say you want a snowmobile so badly, you're willing to settle for a used one, even if you have to take it to a repair shop after you buy it.

 

Then, you hook your dreamer.  In this instance, someone tells you that they have a snowmobile that's perfect for you.  Your hopes are built up.  Your dream of owning a snowmobile is about to come true.  You spend a lot of money getting ready.  You take snowmobiling classes, buy a trailer and a snowmobile cover, liberate space for it in your garage,  hire a mechanic to take a look at the snowmobile after you buy it, buy plane tickets if necessary.  Things like that.

 

Then, just when your dreamer is ready to have their dream fulfilled, you snatch the rug right out from under them.  In this instance, you are told that (for whatever reason) you can't have the snowmobile after all.  Maybe you discover that the person you were going to buy from never had a snowmobile to begin with.  Maybe they were just exploiting your dream for laughs.  Who knows?  Suddenly, however, you find yourself unable to trust the next person who offers to sell you a snowmobile.  Perhaps you even start to believe that owning a snowmobile isn't worth the hassle.

 

That's how you steal a dream.

Now imagine that happening to someone who wants to adopt a child.

And, before you begin to squawk at me, remember you DID ask and I'm sure many other dreamers out there will agree that I haven't missed much in my step-by-step instructions.

 

 

 
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September 30, 2007, 3:01 pm PDT

I wish I understood. My thoughts on the Jena 6 situation

I don't think anyone really understands the situation in Jena, least of all the residents of Jena. I've never understood the concept of prejudice based on the color of someone's skin. To me, everyone is human. It's what goes on in their hearts and heads that really matters, isn't it? Isn't the real issue that some kid was beaten nearly to death by some other kids? What does it matter if their skin was light, dark or in between? I guess I just don't get it.
 
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November 2, 2007, 5:01 pm PDT

Confused

Before I begin, I'd just like to say that, like so many other viewers, I'm uncertain which is lying and which is telling the truth. 

 

Now, my question is, assuming the two boys are lying, why would they say such horrible things about a teacher unless they were upset with her for some reason and wanted to get her fired and/or ruin her life?

 

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