Messages By: kidsarekool

Quote From: lievie007

What about forgiveness. Without it there will never be peace, or inner Peace within a person. What happened 20 years was aweful, and the fact that he his behind his disease was horrible, but doctor Phil antaganized the situation in my opinion by not allowing the man to appologize. He said it, and had Dr Phill let it go, so would the girl. To allow the other girl to not talk to her dad is fine, but to not also try to coach them into the spiritual fact of forgiveness, and allow them to bath in the victim mentality is sad to me. It is okay in this society for almost everybody to hide behind there diseases of addiction, obesity, yet, when the man does the same thing pretty much any fat person does out there, and hides behind his, wow onto him. I was raped too, never became fat or addicted, but forgave the rapist, even took some of the responsibility. The girl deserves a father in her life, it is what she said she was hoping for, and I feel dr Phil did pretty much what he could to make sure that would not happen. I believe he preys more on the ratings these days then to come to good solutions that we can learn and grow from. I think it was awesome the girl wanted to see her father, and feel sorry for the older sister,. for the hate she still has in her soul. What the dad did was aweful, no excuse, but forgiveness is the key to life, love and inner peace. When have we become the judge.

I am not religious, nor have I lived an easy life, especcially with my parents.

Quote From: tawnysavage

As a recovering addict AND an X-convict, I am appalled at the way Dr. Phil let this young lady treat her father, who has done a twenty-year prison sentence and attended a rehabilitation center to "get clean" in order to reconcile and apologize to his daughter for his actions.  I think Dr. Phil could have encouraged her listening to her fathers' words.  I believe it would have helped both parties to move closer to understanding what took place twenty-some years ago.  Instead America watched as a desperate father and his long lost daughter never got a chance to connect.  This was a loss for all.

Yes, he has done horrific damage.  He has taken something that was not his to take.  He was wrong and has caused others indescribable pain and anguish.  However, this was a meeting OF TWO people, human and aware of each others doings.  Please don't mistake, I am not saying this young lady could have been prepared for her emotions, because that would have been impossible.  What I am saying is that her lack of compassion for his sincere apologies and admission of guilt is as unforgivable as his act.  How much more remorseful could he have been?  That is in fact how he started his communication with both the young lady and the audience.  "I'm sorry", he repeated.  "I'm so sorry".  "Why?" was the question she asked of him, when he answered her with honesty, "I didn't mean to kill her it was that drugs took over."  It was like she didn't even hear him.  Hello, has anyone out there suffered with a friend or family member who has struggled with drugs?  Statistics say one in five suffer.  Well different people, with different levels of addiction, create different levels of havoc and harm.  Mark, admittedly used a drug that was administered intravenously, making it more powerful than if used in a different manner.  If alcohol or any other drugs, prescription or otherwise, were used in cahoots with the injected drugs, blackout more than likely occurred.  Still I am not making excuses for Mark, myself or any other addict, it is just that what did she want him to do?  He cannot bring her mother back.  He is sorry AND willing to say it however you wanted him to say it, but he was not willing to go unheard or ignored.  In order for healing, I believe Erica must try again and this time be prepared to forgive.  It is the best gift she can give herself and she could possibly have some kind of relationship with her father, if not for herself for her child.  We have all done terrible things that have hurt others, some are really terrible, but we must choose forgiveness or not.  If she was not going to forgive maybe she should not have arraigned to meet with her mothers' killer.

Quote From: margitka

Hi, I am a woman beeing  beaten  for 12 years every week, till I was bleeding everyhere!!

I lived in a country where was OK. to hit a woman, that time.

I had 2 small daughters one year a part, and many times I was in blood after beeing beaten, and run to the next house for a help, with them in my arm, but nobady vanted to get invald in family violace, not ewen a police, so I just washed up myself and suffer from a pain and abuse till the next time came agein.

What I am trying to tell you here is, I have a very hard time to belive  you  how much you   remembe  the day your mother was killed.

Only what you where told over the past 20 years, that is what I belive.

I ask my daughters  so many times and try to remind  them what was happeng in our life when they where 2-3-4- years old, and they had no memories from that time at all, only when they got much older.

Also your way of shaking your hand , the way you cry is not so..real to me,  and  you were to worrie about your well done make up also.

And talking about what you where going thrue in that age it is to hard for me to belive.

I fell sorry for you a lot ,but I been thrue, Hell in my life and today at 53 I am  a free woman reased them alone, by escaping from my country with then only the clouts on my back and a shoes on my feet, and started a new life, with them in a country I have , no family no freinds no support of anykinde!!

 On the today show, you father told you  he is sorry ,what he did he admited it was wrong , what more he can tell you?? What more you vant from him to do today??He can not take it back!

I do belive in my heart your fellings are not as real as you tring to show to us, just something about you does not  seems real to me, maybe you just vanted to be on the show!

Sorry for my hars words, but I have a problem with you to belive the hurt you showing, you Can Not remember as much as you telling us at 2 years old, that I know! 

And if you real why did not do this without Dr.Phil help??

Move on just like my daughters did ,life is not easy, at least you have a sister and your family  who  Loves you!!

Quote From: laurastephan

I think this lady was a little harsh but i do agree with some of whayt she said.  From readings I've done you cant remember anything before the age of 3.  After that is when so memories start.  Maybe in a case like this could might remember the day your mother died and you might now.  Even so i can see why it would be hard to get over.  Everyone who tells you stories about what happened they are all telling it from their point of view and everyone remembers things differently or the way they want to remember the event.  I don't think what your dad did was right.  I also dont think he had the intent to kill your mom.  I'm sure the drugs did play a part.

Quote From: bchadwick2007

the anger, the hurt that this show has dredged up for so many.  My ex was an abuser, and when I found out he had taken my daughter to a place where drugs were....I left him and I was only 19.  Do I have any hate for him now? No, I have NO feelings for him either way.  I had to let go of all the power he had over me to be able to grow as a person.  My dad was ex-military; very strict - he was the reason I left home at 15......there is a fine line between fear and respect, I had to establish that line.  When my dad was diagnosed at the age of 82 with terminal brain cancer, I quit my job and took care of him until the day he died.  I have two brothers that could not find it in them to do it and my mom was too fragile after 52 years of putting up with his rampages.  We found that line of mutual respect/fear - but only after I decided I was in control of my life.  Many occasion, I was the one thrown in between the fights between my mom and dad, I had found the courage to control my destiny, my mom couldn't so she always called me to deal with my dad.  I have no regrets on that front.

 

Let go of the hate, no not everyone that has a child is a parent, the ability to reproduce doesn't make you a parent - and all hatred begets is hatred.

 

I wasn't happy when, after my daughter had grown up, she took up with a married man, even lived in the same house with both of them before the wife granted a divorce - it was all wrong from many moral fronts.....they are now happily married and choose to live in another state - I let hatred and control almost cost me my daughter.  I learned the lesson hatred begets hatred, I couldn't push my own daughter into hating me and realized that in time enough to stop it.

 

Let it go.

Quote From: teri_id

Well, looks as if we get our message board back...I have missed reading everybody's input....

Hope everyone is doing well.

 

Teri