Quote From: wildwoodHow is gets started
Lets be real, most women look for certain qualities in a mate and a physical or emotional attraction is only one or two of the things we consider. We also want a mate that is successfully employed or at the least able to support us and a family. I suspect all three factors were evident in Bridgete's choice of Micheal. I suspect she spent many long hours on the home front while he finished med school and his internship. He chose to have an affair to reward her support and she reacted in an "over the top" fashion suited to his "crimes".
The trouble with being married to a workalcoholic is that someone must maintain the homefront, doing all theemotional and physical work, while the other is focusing on the work and nothing else. That is where the term workalcoholism comes from ....work is the only thing that matters.
This is a very common problem in marriage. This couple may have been picked cause they are the extreme example of how things can get out of control, when MONEY is the focus of a marriage. In this case he is focused only on making it and she only on spending it. Everything else gradually has faded into the background or is non existant.
This couple is so "trapped" by money oriented thinking, and are commmunicating ONLY through the money that there are no victims or perpetrators, unless you want to name money issues. Being the one, the only one, holding down the homefront and the long lonely hours and the stress is like being a single parent. If the only "perk" to being married is the ability to spend money far too often desperate women, in an attempt to cope and fill the lonely, rejected, stressfilled hours will often turn to shopping. It is a safe alternative to other counterproductive activities available to a woman wanting to honor her marriage vows.
Show me a woman that shops too much and I will show you a man that works or is away from home too much. Men drink and have affairs and a large number of other wise intelligent and capable women shop. The stores are to capacity on weekends with lonely women, trying to find the "magic key" to get and keep their husbands attention.
This goes to the core of our primal instinces as men (goal chasers) and women (hunters/gathers) in addition to societies current attitudes towards worship of the almighty dollar. The more you make, the more you spend. This couple is an over the top example of how this kind of thinking can get totally out of control. Both are guilty of excess, and both have interpersonal issues at the core of the problem and how and why it has gotten totally out of hand.
This couple is not as unique, as it seems due to the large amounts earned and spent. Lower the amounts and Bridgette and Micheal have lots of company. Far too many men egotistically put work ahead of everything and use making money to justify the grossest sins on their families who are trying to survive emotionally without Dad.
He is as guilty as she for the excesses/indiscreations that are destroying this family. Lay off her for falling into the obvious trap his attitudes set. I suspect he worshipped money, made it the god in their family and she and her children are now guilty of following his "religion".
I believe that the man is entrusted with the leadership in the family as God would dictate, but this man chose to make MONEY his God, and they are all paying the price for this immature, poor judgement on the part of THEIR leader.
That is all everybody wants to do. We are so use to it ourselves that even when we see foolish behavior in others we want to justify it for them ... we blame their family, their upbringing, their environment, the husband, the wife and the whole laundry. This is because the first thing we instinctually want to do is shift the responsibility onto someone or something else. LAZY R US!!! Arise and take responsibility for our actions we are man and woman enough to do it (whatever it is to each of us) let us become accountable!!!
