Are there bad people in prison.......definitely! However, sometimes good people end up in places they never imagined they would go. I met and fell in love with a man 19 years ago that is sitting in a prison cell for life. He comes from a good family, and has never been in trouble before. Does that make committing a crime acceptable,.....not at all. A man with a loving family, someone's son, uncle, brother, father, was killed. In the blink of an eye, a life was lost, and as a result of that, another life is accountable. I didn't plan on falling in love with a man that would spend his human existence in a prison cell. As a matter of fact, it sounds so trivial even mentioning it, when you think about a mans life being taken. I thought, in my heart that I was strong enough to endure the circumstances, and committed myself to making this relationship work. I had no clue the "hugeness" of what it was I was up against. When I fell short of my expectations, I considered myself weak. I discovered, through my experience over the last 19 years, that it is IMPOSSIBLE to have a healthy relationship with a person that is incarcerated. Relationships need to be paid attention to. Growing together. The one thing I would have done different, If I could go back 19 years, is paid more attention to what MY needs were. I still, to this day, have not made room in my heart, for any one else. My choices over the years were based on what "he" would think, or how "he" would feel. As a result of that, I gave up many opportunities. No regrets. I learned a lot about myself over the years, and have what was, and is MY experience. I hope, from what I learned, that no other woman will ever treat herself with the dis-respect that I treated myself with. Also, unlike Sara, I would NEVER allow this to happen a second time, never mind a third. Another thing, I don't know for sure, but, I would like to think, that if I had children, no man, inside or out,...... would EVER interfere with the well being of my children! My wish for Sara is that one day she will see her worth and esteem, so that her beautiful children will not pay the price for her settling for less. You deserve better Sara!!!
DARLENE.......
P.S. I hope my appearance on the Dr Phil show will help others to see that this is about "Loving Yourself" enough, to do what is in your best interest.
