Messages By: kimbrem

even when using their services. Only if you want to be a member.

Maybe what he can do to help you is to read websites like resolves, here, inciid, etc to see other peoples struggles with this. Maybe you just need to really communicate to him your feelings, not just the censored version.

Men are very different in how they perceive things, how they react to them and what they do. My husband now has a pretty good rhythm with helping me cope, but it wasn't always like that. We experienced the gender gap in our conversations and spent alot of time trying to figure out how to communicate with one another.

I've learned how to fully express myself to my husband. He's learned to listen to how I feel instead of what I say. I've learned to be very specific in what I need from him and to be a whole lot more vocal instead of silent modiness. We have times when I need to talk and I tell my husband that and he complies. I have to tell him what I want from him whether it's support of his opinion

My best advice is to gather a bunch of emotional posts from women going through this and let your husband read them. He will think it's pointless and may be hard to convince. That's a guy's mind. Try to convince him it's not. Try not to become frustrated with him. Trust me this is difficult sometimes. Then tell him you want a half hour a day for the next week scheduled, no tv, no dinner, no computer, no distractions to simply discuss what it is you feel and how you feel about what he has said about treatment and all the options and what he is willing to explore. Make sure you have his complete devotion and ask that his daughter doesn't visit in that week.  Ask him if he knows how much this means to you. Ask him if he understand the consequences of his decisions and how they affect you. Discuss how YOU feel about treatment options and don't hold back because of any fear of response. Remember, this is a very important part of your collective lives and you shouldn't pull any punches. Be sure to tell him day-to-day how you are feeling and ask for support.  If the conversations start being productive, you probably won't need half an hour. Don't push the communication if you reach a standoff. Just come back to it another day. You will both have more time to think about what it is that was said and be able to reformulate any thoughts that may have become hard to express.

It's a whole lot about communication, all about love, understanding and support. If he loves you in the unselfish manner you deserve, he will be able to understand where you are coming from.

Good luck again, if need be, let him post here and talk to us to help understand you.

Kim

 We got a letter from the embryologist today. My hubby called on day five to see how many of the embryos made it to freezing and the nurse said the results weren't in the computer yet and we would receive a letter.

It was my impression they got frozen on day 5. That's pretty typical and standard and no one said any different.

The letter stated that none made it to day 6. I feel devastated. I hoped there would be some embryos left over so that we might have a second chance at a little less expense. This is extremely cost-prohibitive for us.

I'm also feeling a little, what's the right word? maybe betrayed? by the doctor's office. I just would have thought they would have made it clear that part of it if they deviated from the normal. Would we have had any embryos on day5? I know how few embryos survive to day5, much less day6. I don't think I would have agreed to that. Now, there's no choice to be made and it's too late to be able to do anything about it.

I've been feeling a little crampy today and that already had me feeling a little scared and upset before my husband brought that piece of mail in. I guess I am having a bad day, huh?

I am praying for those three who got transferred. I guess all my hopes are in them. I have been so optimistic and have been trying so hard to hold up those emotions and now.....

Well, you guys know now that everyone goes through this, because I think I am sliding, praying a positive test keeps me from hitting the bottom.

Kim

 I am feeling a little better. I know there's still much reason to hope that this cycle was a success. We won't know until Thursday or Friday. In some ways, I almost don't want to find out. I'd almost just rather wait in this state with some hope.

I am feeling like there is alot of hope that it actually did work. I'll be waiting with baited breath until the results are in. Please keep up those prayers. Goodness knows I can use them

Kim

 I'm so sorry to hear of your grandmother. Your grief is so fresh there. I do know exactly what you are going through. You never get over missing someone who has been that important and had that much of an impact on your life. One of the hardest things about growing older is the part where you start losing the people you love. Many hugs and prayers go out to you in your time of grief. I pray her memories bring you many smiles and leave you feeling very loved.

Hopefully soon you will be able to recognize her again in your own part of the circle.

I'm very happy to hear you are getting into an IVF cycle. I've heard of assisted hatching. Although I don't have any personal experience with it, I have read some about it. From what I have read, it's not known if it has a whole lot of impact, but some say that some eggs that are tougher may be unable to hatch and impant. It's supposed to get over that. I know we would do whatever we thought would help and I know you guys are the same. If you think it might help, then by all means do it!

HUGGGS,

Kim

 The day we find out.

I can't sleep. I keep crying. I know it's probably over.

My husband brought up embryo adoption. He knows how devastated I am feeling. I start crying at odd times during conversations and try really hard not to at other times. I started crying after he gave me a shot of progesterone yesterday. I could only think it was probably one of the last shots. He thought I was crying because it hurt that bad. I think he realizes the pain is deeper now. God, I would lay there fully aware whilst someone removed my ass if I thought it would take the deeper pain away.

God, I love my husband. He is trying his best to keep up my spirits and keep offering me alternatives.

 I am feeling so utterly low. I know I will have to answer the phone tomorrow. I don't want to.  To get the "official" word. I don't think there is any lower place that I have reached. I thought, maybe, this would be the answer. Maybe, my body just needed a little help. Maybe, I wasn't a total bust at being a woman, a wife, a mother.

Now, I'm not sure of that at all.

Everyone here has been through this thing the same as I have. I am utterly confident that I will bounce back from this and be able to smile through it once again. I've got no choice really.

I'll let you guys know how the official word came out, if I have the courage to answer the phone.

Kim

 of course!

I've been having back pains for the past week that I haven't taken anything stronger than aspirin for. Now I get to take some stronger meds. There's always an upside, isn't there?

I don't know what to feel at this point. I am very sad. I am very depressed. I feel empty. LOL, isn't that a kick, cause I am!


i don't think I am handling this well, but what is well? I guess I just have to go through the emotional roller-coaster and then I can get back to normal.

 Thanks so much. You are so correct!

My darling came home. I should remember when I'm feeling down and out not to even blink without speaking with my sweetheart.

I'm sure I'm not finished dealing with this yet, but I do think that my husband has helped me get a better perspective on this. We just have to move on and find out what's next.

You're so right about faith. I've been extremely blessed with a wonderful marriage and the most beautiful husband in the world. No matter what happens, I have a rock to prop me back up and help me move on. Life is good.

Kim

I'm feeling it for you! Second times a charm! So excited, keep us updated on how things are going.

Kim